Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

NessieMonster188

Search for a member

NessieMonster188

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1177
  • Number of comments : 26
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About NessieMonster188 : For all those FMLers who care to read this:
-I am a former Canadian. So before you begin to complain to me about below freezing weather, please consider I lived in an igloo for quite some time and my only means of transportation were by moose and polar bear.
-I may only be a teenager, but this does not give you the right to treat me as some immature delinquent. Surprisingly enough, I could be the total opposite.
-I'm nice to everyone, but please note I have a short tolerance when someone annoys me constantly. Don't say I didn't warn you.
-I'm really into bands like Disturbed, RHCP and The Misfits
-In my free time I like to write poetry, play American football, race cars, and watch anime
-Finally, I speak German, Russian, Japanese and SARCASM in complete fluency.

Got a question? Drop me a message and I'm sure to answer :)

Edit: Currently in Canada right now, so my replies to messages might be a bit delayed

NessieMonster188's page activity

Visits<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 12:49pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 10:29am<b>bluntman33</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 10:16pm<b>klune</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 6:28pm<b>cookiesFTW</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 1:41pm<b>__juanito__</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 10:22pm<b>mcmuffinman1</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 10:52am<b>JayWaun</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 1:51pm<b>bkirky</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 9:57pm<b>Semperfi92340</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 3:00pm<b>aerybow</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 6:54pm<b>master_disaster</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 12:28am<b>Osezyfoshezy</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 1:23pm<b>Gremlinek</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 11:22am<b>erinlindon</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 10:09am<b>therealjc</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 11:31pm<b>BZk</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 9:57pm<b>kelsorg</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 1:43pm

NessieMonster188's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of NessieMonster188's badges

NessieMonster188's favorite FMLs

Today, one of my closest friends informed me that she wasn't going to invite me to her wedding, because I'm too shy and not enough fun, and she doesn't want her 200 or so guests to feel uncomfortable. I was the one who set the happy couple up. FML

#20681501
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57590) - you deserved it (3860)

On 05/23/2013 at 9:45am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my nose started running while in bed with my boyfriend. I kept trying to wipe it off with my arm to avoid ruining the moment. My boyfriend then looks up at me in horror. Turns out it wasn't mucus; it was blood. And it was all over his neck, his shirt, and his silk sheets. FML

#20647224
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61580) - you deserved it (11846)

On 05/07/2013 at 3:29am - intimacy - by Sirah90 (woman) - United States

Today, I was proposed to, under the condition that I "get thin" first. FML

#20578323
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47092) - you deserved it (9150)

On 04/06/2013 at 11:19pm - love - by ziggers10 - United States

Today, I was walking my dog when he stopped in the middle of the street and took a dump. I looked around furtively but saw nobody, so I just kept walking. I stepped in it on the way back home. FML

#20558609
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10193) - you deserved it (87264) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/24/2013 at 7:01pm - animals - by BaliTheDog - France

Today, I was talking to my boss and he said I was awesome. He went to fist bump me and I missed. FML

#20552081
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27627) - you deserved it (7983)

On 03/20/2013 at 10:31am - work - by missedfistbump - United States

Today, for the sixth time in a row, I was driving my kid to school and he made me late for work. Why? He was whacking off instead of getting ready. FML

#20551973
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43379) - you deserved it (6063)

On 03/20/2013 at 7:07am - intimacy - by Why son, why? (man) - United States

Today, four days after our fridge-freezer broke down, my husband staggered home with three bags of ham. He drunkenly bought it with most of what little money we have, so now not only is our food budget gone, we also have a metric cunt-load of ham, and nowhere to store it. FML

#20548229
166 comments

Today, I was outside at a café and looked at my phone. When I did, a woman halfway across the patio started screaming at me, demanding I tell her who I was texting and why. She then sprinted over, furious at me for apparently badmouthing her to somebody. All I did was check the time. FML

#20547346
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36291) - you deserved it (2551)

On 03/17/2013 at 7:00am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I advised my daughter to not drink a Coke before bed. She smiled at me and reassured me that it could be balanced out with sleeping pills. I'm raising a future drug addict. FML

#20547328
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32637) - you deserved it (6799)

On 03/17/2013 at 6:25am - kids - by hejdixjeln - United States (Illinois)

Today, a technician from my ISP came to my house to replace my router. He asked for a glass of water, one thing led to another, and for some reason I'll never fully understand, we ended up having sex. Looks like porn logic is not so far off the mark after all. FML

#20537010
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20432) - you deserved it (59806)

On 03/09/2013 at 1:50pm - intimacy - by je_regrette_tout (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I walked into my near pitch-black bathroom and saw a person staring back at me. I woke my whole family up with my screams. The person was my reflection. FML

#20517081
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12114) - you deserved it (30662)

On 02/22/2013 at 12:35am - misc - by shelbylove115 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to use a dictionary before I realized I was being flirted with. FML

#20506101
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25082) - you deserved it (10705)

On 02/14/2013 at 6:01am - love - by lex - United States

Today, a girl came up to me on the street and said, "You have like no swag, bro." Feeling clever, I said, "At least I have a high school education." She then took out her work ID, showing me that she was a surgeon, flipped me off, then walked away saying, "This is totally going on Facebook." FML

#20502122
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29261) - you deserved it (27251)

On 02/11/2013 at 10:26am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my little sister chased me around the house with a mallet, giggling like a maniac. I ended up having to pin her to the ground, rip the mallet out of her hand and lock her in the bathroom. This isn't the first time. My mom still insists it's perfectly normal. FML

#20500833
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32949) - you deserved it (2587)

On 02/10/2013 at 11:17am - kids - by littlemiss - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found a cup full of urine in the bathtub. No one in my family knows where it came from. This is the second time it's happened. FML

#20498051
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29071) - you deserved it (2286)

On 02/08/2013 at 10:36am - misc - by Anonymous - United States



FML's blog

  • Freaks's Illustrated FML
  • What's going on? Something weird is going on. I can feel it in my bones. Can't you? People are acting weird, as if they're short-fused all of a sudden. There's definitely…

Friday 1 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: