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About NessieMonster188 : For all those FMLers who care to read this:
-I am a former Canadian. So before you begin to complain to me about below freezing weather, please consider I lived in an igloo for quite some time and my only means of transportation were by moose and polar bear.
-I may only be a teenager, but this does not give you the right to treat me as some immature delinquent. Surprisingly enough, I could be the total opposite.
-I'm nice to everyone, but please note I have a short tolerance when someone annoys me constantly. Don't say I didn't warn you.
-I'm really into bands like Disturbed, RHCP and The Misfits
-In my free time I like to write poetry, play American football, race cars, and watch anime
-Finally, I speak German, Russian, Japanese and SARCASM in complete fluency.
Got a question? Drop me a message and I'm sure to answer :)
Edit: Currently in Canada right now, so my replies to messages might be a bit delayed
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Today, one of my closest friends informed me that she wasn't going to invite me to her wedding, because I'm too shy and not enough fun, and she doesn't want her 200 or so guests to feel uncomfortable. I was the one who set the happy couple up. FML
Today, my nose started running while in bed with my boyfriend. I kept trying to wipe it off with my arm to avoid ruining the moment. My boyfriend then looks up at me in horror. Turns out it wasn't mucus; it was blood. And it was all over his neck, his shirt, and his silk sheets. FML
Today, four days after our fridge-freezer broke down, my husband staggered home with three bags of ham. He drunkenly bought it with most of what little money we have, so now not only is our food budget gone, we also have a metric cunt-load of ham, and nowhere to store it. FML
Today, I was outside at a café and looked at my phone. When I did, a woman halfway across the patio started screaming at me, demanding I tell her who I was texting and why. She then sprinted over, furious at me for apparently badmouthing her to somebody. All I did was check the time. FML
Today, a technician from my ISP came to my house to replace my router. He asked for a glass of water, one thing led to another, and for some reason I'll never fully understand, we ended up having sex. Looks like porn logic is not so far off the mark after all. FML
Today, a girl came up to me on the street and said, "You have like no swag, bro." Feeling clever, I said, "At least I have a high school education." She then took out her work ID, showing me that she was a surgeon, flipped me off, then walked away saying, "This is totally going on Facebook." FML
Today, my little sister chased me around the house with a mallet, giggling like a maniac. I ended up having to pin her to the ground, rip the mallet out of her hand and lock her in the bathroom. This isn't the first time. My mom still insists it's perfectly normal. FML
Friday 18 July 2014