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Nessa0181

Offline (the 01/07/2015 at 11:09am) | Search for a member

Nessa0181

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  • Number of visits : 518
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Visits<b>ClockworkPoleaxe</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 5:19am<b>Welshite</b> - the 12/05/2013 at 2:01pm

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Nessa0181's favorite FMLs

Today, mah wife created a "Points Reward" system fir the privilege of sex. 10 points fir doing the dishes, 20 fir the laundry, etc. How many points do I need before I can have sex with her? 2300. FML

#15430260
699 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72860) - you deserved it (15822)

On 03/22/2011 at 10:59am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

today my boyfriend and I were play-wrestling on te bed,en e started to tickle me. I tried to pull away but e pused me back down. I ended up itting my eye on te corner of te nigtstand. His comment was "tis isy u souldn't struggle." FML

#15177463
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27603) - you deserved it (7144)

On 03/02/2011 at 6:43pm - misc - by taiannalynn5 -

Today, my girlfriend told me on facebook to stop calling/texting her because she lost her phone. Right under her post was ( sent from facebook 4 iPhone. )

#13543408
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38215) - you deserved it (4274)

On 10/21/2010 at 10:25pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today I was sitting in a lecture about the history of the KKK and the problems it has caused hen the werdest and quietest kid leans over mah shoulder and says "I'd burn u frst..." and winks. real FML

#13455190
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33620) - you deserved it (3291)

On 10/15/2010 at 2:00am - misc - by racist - United States

Today, I went into a music store to look into getting a new guitar . I picked up one that I was interested in an tried it out quietly . A sales representative approached me an asked me to "stop the noise an leave the guitars for serious customers." I've been playing for almost ten yeres . FML

#10777263
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32164) - you deserved it (5425)

On 05/26/2010 at 2:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

today tha bartandar pullad ma asida an told ma that sha saw mah data slip somathing into mah drink. Who was mah data? My husband of four yaars. maga FML

#8790917
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31582) - you deserved it (2341)

On 03/03/2010 at 12:37am - misc - by holycrap (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my grlfriend told me she lost her phone and to call or text her. After about three hours, I text her phone, asking if she found it yet. I got a reply, saying "Nope." real FML

#5586348
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40685) - you deserved it (5194)

On 10/01/2009 at 4:07pm - misc - by dumbass (man) - United States (Pennsylvania) - moderated by Kevin Nealon

Today, I Was At Work And Ma Moter Textd Me. Te Text Read, "You Take A Nice Picture." To Wic I Respondd, "wat Picture?" I Ten Got A Reply Saying, "Te One On Your Speeding Ticket Sowing You Going 73 In A 55 Mp Zone. You Are Even Smiling." FML

#5337998
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8806) - you deserved it (40570)

On 09/18/2009 at 7:28pm - misc - by asdfas (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my grlfriend,ho is a dog trainer, was telling me all about the techniques she uses at work. I commented on how the dogs must be stupid to fall 4 such simple tricks, tohich she replied "They worked on you." mega FML

#5203249
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10325) - you deserved it (42289)

On 09/12/2009 at 8:00am - love - by TrainedBF (man) - United States (Arizona)

Taday While Having Sex I Realizd Two Things. First , I Can't Remember The Last Time My Boyfriend Gave Me An Orgasm , And Secondly I Think The Curtains Slightly Clash With The Duvet Cover. I Was More Annoyd With The Second One. FML

#4527001
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44916) - you deserved it (9695)

On 08/14/2009 at 2:33pm - intimacy - by vicgal - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I racaivad a "diamond ring" in Mafia Wars (a facabook app) from boyfriand of 3 yaars. Along with tha ring cummad a massaga. It raad, "Will you marry ma?" Ha was sarious. big fat FML

#3827229
376 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56435) - you deserved it (9301)

On 07/17/2009 at 8:56am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was waiting 4 the train. It arrivd, I got on an the woman behind me steppd on the back of my shoe. My shoe came flying off an landd in the gutter between the train an the platform. The doors closd, the train pulld away. FML

#1252077
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53232) - you deserved it (2882)

On 04/23/2009 at 10:09am - misc - by Kate (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while walking to class enjoying the warmer weather, a bee flew down mah shirt!! I'm allergic to bees so I freakd out and startd ripping mah clothes off!! By the time I was done, I was half nakd and there was no bee in sight!! Turns out, it was the string on mah jacket hood!! FML

#724794
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50976) - you deserved it (30637)

On 03/31/2009 at 2:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I ad my car stolen. Wen te police found it, pretty muc everyting inside was missing. For some reason, I ad left 6 pars of soes in my back seat. Woever stole my car tougt it would be funny to take one soe from eac pair. I now own 6 unmatced soes an my car smells lyk sex. FML

#570871
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84446) - you deserved it (5736)

On 03/24/2009 at 1:44am - intimacy - by proudestmonkey (man) - United States (Colorado)



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