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NeonBoxerBriefs's favorite FMLs
by Nice / 05/01/2012 at 9:58am / Canada (Ontario) / Work
Today, my boyfriend yet again unsuccessfully tried to hold in uncontrollable giggling every time I moaned or sighed during sex. He's 24. I'm terrified of his reaction should I ever reach an orgasm with him. FML
by epicsquishii / 05/01/2012 at 7:02am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I posted on Facebook saying I'm in a new relationship. One of my buddies said, "You're cheating on Jill?" My girlfriend saw this and went completely nuts, not giving me a chance to explain that "Jill" is just a euphemism for your hand. FML
by jackmehoffa / 04/03/2012 at 2:10pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Love
Today, I went to McDonalds and ordered a happy meal with a girl's toy. The high school girls behind the counter said I was too old to be served one, and I had to go home and explain to my sick daughter why she didn't get her toy. FML
by Anonymous / 04/03/2012 at 1:48pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 03/23/2012 at 10:39pm / United States (Virginia) / Money
Today, while driving home from school, I noticed one of our hot quarterbacks in the car behind me. Trying to impress him, I pulled into the driveway of an expensive-looking house. To my horror, he pulled in behind me and asked what I was doing at his house. FML
by brooke / 03/21/2012 at 1:12pm / United States (Florida) / Kids
by atsukobo / 03/10/2012 at 1:04am / United States / Love
Today, my husband sat me down on the couch so he could share some "awesome" news with me. He excitedly declared that he and his idiot drinking buddies are planning on running a real-life Fight Club out of our basement. FML
by Anonymous / 03/09/2012 at 9:05pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was feeling frisky for the first time in months, so I started feeling up my husband. He kept insisting he had a headache and that he wasn't feeling it tonight. When I noticed his sarcasm, he said "Yeah, doesn't feel so great, does it?" and turned the TV volume up. FML
by Anonymous / 02/24/2012 at 10:07pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 02/16/2012 at 2:32am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love
by Anonymous / 02/12/2012 at 8:11pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I took my first shower in weeks after having had spinal surgery. My sister flushed a toilet. I couldn't reach the nozzle or my cane to get off the shower bench, and all I could do was sit there as scalding hot water sprayed all over me. FML
by Ouchies / 02/09/2012 at 12:28pm / United States (Colorado) / Health
by SocialAnxietyNightmare / 02/09/2012 at 11:42am / United Kingdom (London) / Health
by Falcon / 02/09/2012 at 1:42am / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/06/2012 at 9:08pm / United States / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got…