This member hasn't filled in their description.
Neamow's FML badges
Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
Neamow's favorite FMLs
Today, my husband rescued our daughter's cat from a tree. She spent the next hour clapping and telling me how much of a hero he was. Last night at 2am I was awoken by meowing and had to rescue the same cat from the same tree, in the dark, and halfway down he shit on me. No one called me a hero. FML
by Anonymous / 07/15/2009 at 2:58am / Canada (British Columbia) / Kids
Today, I was eating a croissant. After eating half of it and about to take another bite, a spider crawled out of one of the holes of flaky deliciousness and descended down a thread of web to the table, where it scuddled away. There was a whole family of them living in there. FML
by homedoggieo / 07/14/2009 at 7:57pm / United States (North Carolina) / Animals
by nameless / 07/12/2009 at 2:45am / United States / Love
by wow / 07/11/2009 at 4:02pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, it was my wedding day. I had my butt clenched during the ceremony. I was giving my husband the ring, but dropped it. When I went to retrieve it, I let a huge one ripe. My husband yelled "she likes to eat beans." FML
by 1234 / 07/11/2009 at 12:41pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went with my sister to get our eyebrows waxed. I didn't think my eyebrows were that bad--and they weren't! When the guy waxed my eyebrows, he gestured my lips and said, "Moustache, too?" Mortified, I said, "No!" to which he replied, "Aw, someone no get kissy tonight." FML
by RR / 07/11/2009 at 1:58am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I hit a horrible tee shot from the 18th hole. I decided to use my driver to take my frustration out on a nearby bush. The bees who lived in that bush decided to use their stingers to take out their frustration up inside my golf shorts. FML
by Jon / 07/07/2009 at 2:19pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out that my father, who is divorced from my mother, has set up a lawsuit against her and that I am required to go to court and testify against her as a witness. I've tried to keep neutral for six years, and I'll go to jail if I don't show up. FML
by Anonymous / 07/07/2009 at 1:46am / United States (Hawaii) / Miscellaneous
by AidenFromSweden / 07/06/2009 at 2:41pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Miscellaneous
Today, at work, a woman came up to the counter and asked if we made sweet and sour chicken. Before I could answer, she told me a really long recipe and said "I expect to see this on the menu next time I come in, or I will complain to the manager about your lousy work ethic". I work at Starbucks. FML
by Barista / 07/05/2009 at 1:21am / United States (Wisconsin) / Work
Today, was my wedding. After eating, I had an urge to fart. I let one rip just before my husband and I were called to do the garter dance. He seductively tried to use his teeth to remove the garter and came out from under my dress dry heaving. I dutch ovened my husband in front of everyone. FML
by DutchOven / 07/04/2009 at 5:07pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love
- « Previous page
- Next page »
- Today, I was mugged by a homeless lady who was eating a pudding cup with a spoon. At one point she… Today I learned apparently my work desk is a place where rare Pokémon spawn. So, every ten minutes… Today, my new doctor gave me a pamphlet for a cervical cancer prevention injection and told me it's…