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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Neamow

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Neamow
  • Town/Country : Slovakia
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 427
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Neamow's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband rescued our daughter's cat from a tree. She spent the next hour clapping and telling me how much of a hero he was. Last night at 2am I was awoken by meowing and had to rescue the same cat from the same tree, in the dark, and halfway down he shit on me. No one called me a hero. FML

#3767592 (143)

I agree, your life sucks (38868) - you deserved it (3737)

On 07/15/2009 at 2:58am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was eating a croissant. After eating half of it and about to take another bite, a spider crawled out of one of the holes of flaky deliciousness and descended down a thread of web to the table, where it scuddled away. There was a whole family of them living in there. FML

#3755395 (248)

I agree, your life sucks (46158) - you deserved it (2225)

On 07/14/2009 at 7:57pm - animals - by homedoggieo (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I asked the girl I am in love with out on a date. She asked me for my name. FML

#3685752 (94)

I agree, your life sucks (39768) - you deserved it (7746)

On 07/12/2009 at 2:45am - love - by nameless (man) - United States

Today, I have to choose between one eyebrow or none because I'm a heavy sleeper and my brother is a moron. FML

#3669830 (162)

I agree, your life sucks (48993) - you deserved it (3423)

On 07/11/2009 at 4:02pm - misc - by wow (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, it was my wedding day. I had my butt clenched during the ceremony. I was giving my husband the ring, but dropped it. When I went to retrieve it, I let a huge one ripe. My husband yelled "she likes to eat beans." FML

#3666100 (143)

I agree, your life sucks (45287) - you deserved it (7060)

On 07/11/2009 at 12:41pm - misc - by 1234 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went with my sister to get our eyebrows waxed. I didn't think my eyebrows were that bad--and they weren't! When the guy waxed my eyebrows, he gestured my lips and said, "Moustache, too?" Mortified, I said, "No!" to which he replied, "Aw, someone no get kissy tonight." FML

#3658638 (119)

I agree, your life sucks (32271) - you deserved it (6387)

On 07/11/2009 at 1:58am - misc - by RR (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I hit a horrible tee shot from the 18th hole. I decided to use my driver to take my frustration out on a nearby bush. The bees who lived in that bush decided to use their stingers to take out their frustration up inside my golf shorts. FML

#3555037 (148)

I agree, your life sucks (8704) - you deserved it (46365)

On 07/07/2009 at 2:19pm - misc - by Jon (man) - United States

Today, I found out that my father, who is divorced from my mother, has set up a lawsuit against her and that I am required to go to court and testify against her as a witness. I've tried to keep neutral for six years, and I'll go to jail if I don't show up. FML

#3544767 (269)

I agree, your life sucks (54587) - you deserved it (1773)

On 07/07/2009 at 1:46am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I come home to find my nephew holding pieces of my new $3,500 Sony Video Camera. He told me he threw it out the window because it was a portal for aliens. FML

#3527232 (131)

I agree, your life sucks (40853) - you deserved it (2617)

On 07/06/2009 at 2:41pm - misc - by AidenFromSweden (man) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, at work, a woman came up to the counter and asked if we made sweet and sour chicken. Before I could answer, she told me a really long recipe and said "I expect to see this on the menu next time I come in, or I will complain to the manager about your lousy work ethic". I work at Starbucks. FML

#3495649 (319)

I agree, your life sucks (56286) - you deserved it (2492)

On 07/05/2009 at 1:21am - work - by Barista (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, was my wedding. After eating, I had an urge to fart. I let one rip just before my husband and I were called to do the garter dance. He seductively tried to use his teeth to remove the garter and came out from under my dress dry heaving. I dutch ovened my husband in front of everyone. FML

#3484293 (190)

I agree, your life sucks (41960) - you deserved it (16633)

On 07/04/2009 at 5:07pm - love - by DutchOven (woman) - United States (North Carolina)