Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

NeCKX

Offline (3 hours ago) | Search for a member

NeCKX

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1742
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

NeCKX's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Facebook

Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

See all of NeCKX's badges

NeCKX's favorite FMLs

Today, the pervert in my computer class asked me if I "mowed my lawn." Not knowing this was a vaguely sexual term, I replied, "No, my dad does." FML

#18983166
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42065) - you deserved it (9131)

On 02/03/2012 at 9:47am - intimacy - by xX_nsn_Xx (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom was freaking out about me handling a CD-ROM with my bare hands. When I asked her what all the commotion was about, she said she was worried that I would catch "one of those computer viruses" she'd heard about on the news. FML

#18974920
216 comments

Today, I picked up a prostitute. The prostitute was my sister, and I picked her up from jail. FML

#18967800
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55050) - you deserved it (4230)

On 02/01/2012 at 10:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend gave me twelve roses and told me that he would love me until the last one dies. Remembering the Facebook like, I began looking for the fake one but couldn't find it. When I pointed out that all twelve were real and would die within days, he responded, "Exactly." FML

#18936421
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33430) - you deserved it (3029)

On 01/28/2012 at 7:10pm - love - by Shelly P. (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I changed my relationship status on Facebook from "in a relationship" to "single." I forgot to take my phone to work, and when I got back, I saw someone had replied, "What happened?" Someone else commented, "He broke his hand." My ex and a bunch of other "friends" liked it. FML

#18935378
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20510) - you deserved it (4260)

On 01/28/2012 at 4:52pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, a coworker thought it would be funny to put a tack on my chair. When I sat down, it went directly into my butt. When I sprang up, I hit my head on a lamp. I then hit my head on my desk on the way down. FML

#18904057
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30304) - you deserved it (2650)

On 01/25/2012 at 12:03am - work - by Benjamin - United States (California)

Today, I went to the movies on a date. My chair made a fart sound while I moved around a little, so my date thought I'd let one rip. He then let out a really horrendously smelling one to make me feel less embarrassed, giving me a reassuring look. FML

#18753577
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31026) - you deserved it (5839)

On 01/09/2012 at 1:14am - love - by Whyme (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I started undressing in front of my boyfriend. He politely said, "Excuse me, please" because I was blocking the T.V. FML

#18579267
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28609) - you deserved it (7168)

On 12/22/2011 at 12:26pm - intimacy - by lalala - United Kingdom (Croydon)

Today, I got screamed at, threatened, cursed, and spat on by an elderly couple for "running them off the road". I was driving an ambulance, lights and sirens on, with a 4 year old in the back who couldn't breathe. They were going 20 in a 50mph zone for 2 miles straight. FML

#18542050
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47422) - you deserved it (2170)

On 12/18/2011 at 2:44am - work - by Sedici - United States

Today, my five-year-old daughter told me she was going to throw up. I told her to rush to the bathroom. I followed her a few seconds later, only to find her sitting on the toilet and vomiting onto the floor. FML

#18534964
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31479) - you deserved it (5877) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/17/2011 at 10:42am - kids - by espylone - France

Today, I told my boyfriend about how a few years ago I had cancer, and how I underwent radiation therapy. His response? "Did you glow in the dark?" FML

#18466406
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29054) - you deserved it (3410)

On 12/09/2011 at 2:41am - health - by GlowInTheDark (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I saw my neighbor's Christmas tree they had put up on their porch, with decorative presents under it. Being that my neighbors hate me, I figured I would take a present to piss them off. While walking back home with the present, I opened it. Inside it read "I knew you would, douche bag." FML

#18464488
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7941) - you deserved it (71757)

On 12/08/2011 at 10:35pm - misc - by lebato97 - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my girlfriend left me. Knowing that I am a germaphobe, she took all of my cleaning supplies and spread mud and trash everywhere. FML

#18456700
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27660) - you deserved it (5915)

On 12/07/2011 at 10:33pm - health - by skrewedguy (man) - United States

Today, I found out that if a cop asks you if you have any weapons, and you reply by saying "only these guns" while flexing your biceps, they won't take it very well. And neither will the cops down at the station. FML

#18444451
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11420) - you deserved it (43693)

On 12/06/2011 at 12:24pm - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, I started at my new waitressing job. Our uniforms have the name of the restaurant on the left chest pocket. My first customer asked me what the other boob was called. FML

#18443540
97 comments


FML's blog

  • Matteor's illustrated FML #2
  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: