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NeCKX's favorite FMLs
by elisabeth_pwnes / 03/16/2012 at 6:38am / Norway (Vestfold) / Love
by W45T3D_Y0UTH / 03/15/2012 at 4:44pm / Canada / Love
by daddy-o / 03/14/2012 at 3:51am / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous
Today, a Russian guy came up to me on the train and informed me that I look exactly like a typical Russian woman. He then went on to explain that I even had enough fat to survive their cold winters. FML
by Anonymous / 03/14/2012 at 2:15am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was sitting on the couch with my fiancé, when he jumped up and viciously sat on my face. I then heard, smelled, and tasted the most violent, horrific fart known to man. I still can't get the taste out of my mouth, and he can't stop laughing. I'm getting married to this guy. FML
by anonymous / 03/14/2012 at 1:18am / Canada (British Columbia) / Love
by PixieWrists / 03/13/2012 at 1:33pm / United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire) / Health
Today, I found out that my resume contained the word "masturbation" in the skills section, courtesy of a practical joke by my best friend. I have been using this CV unsuccessfully for over two months. FML
by Anonymous / 03/13/2012 at 8:51am / Netherlands (Noord-Holland) / Intimacy
Today, I got my yearbook. My sister and I are identical twins, and we realized only my sister had a picture in it. When we asked the head of yearbook, they said they thought it was the same girl trying to get two pictures, so they put in the prettier one. FML
by Rynne S. / 03/13/2012 at 2:12am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was working retail when a group of older gentlemen came in looking for a good sound system. I showed them a top-range system and gushed about it in detail, trying to close the sale. One of them snorted and said, "See Dave, girls like her are the reason ball gags were invented." FML
by sandi519 / 03/12/2012 at 11:10pm / United States / Work
Today, my girlfriend and I agreed to tell her parents that she's pregnant. When they started freaking out, instead of dealing with the situation maturely, she went into straight-up Tard Mode and said, "It's okay, I'm not the mom." FML
by yamsterr / 03/12/2012 at 12:27pm / United States / Love
Today, I was discussing the possibility of other life in the universe with my friend. She said the universe isn't big enough for it to be possible, and that we would know about it already, because "there are only 8 planets in the universe." FML
by daninalani / 03/11/2012 at 6:37pm / United States (California) / Transportation
Today, at work at a gas station kiosk, a man requested a carton of cigarettes. We keep our cigarettes on a high shelf. I'm short and very large chested so I have to jump in order to reach the carton. He said, "I only come here for the entertainment" and left without purchasing his cigarettes. FML
by aprilmay91 / 03/11/2012 at 8:38am / United States / Work
by The Last One / 03/11/2012 at 1:39am / Canada (Ontario) / Work
by starboy / 03/10/2012 at 1:50am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by gabbykinz13 / 03/08/2012 at 4:48pm / United States / Love
- Today, I met my boyfriend's notoriously difficult mother. I had been looking forward to meeting her… Today, I was having sex with my husband. As I was undressing, he said, "Arr, I spy me some booty!"… Today, I caught my 16-year-old daughter and her boyfriend trying to use a latex glove as a condom.…