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50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, at my job as a waitress, I fell, landed on my ass, managing not to spill the drinks or drop the food in my hands. A little boy yelled "NINJA WAITRESS!" Every one at work has been calling me that all day, and purposely been trying to trip me to see if I could do it again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28755) - you deserved it (4077)
On 11/30/2011 at 12:39am - work - by immy504 - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I discovered that you should always unplug the electric mixer before licking the beaters. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8103) - you deserved it (52511)
On 11/29/2011 at 12:21pm - misc - by seanjohn268 (man) - Canada
Today, my dogs broke through our electric fence, one of whom managed to get his collar off. I picked it up and, without thinking, went across the fence line. I screamed like a chihuahua being run over by a bulldozer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8495) - you deserved it (28286)
On 11/28/2011 at 6:54pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)
Today, my husband asked me, "Why do you love me?" I spent the next five minutes spilling my heart and soul out to him. After I'd asked the same question, he looked me straight in the eye and said, "I don't." FML
I agree, your life sucks (42493) - you deserved it (2834)
On 11/28/2011 at 7:51am - love - by nirvana_mama157 - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting a historical war bunker when I accidentally let rip a small fart. My boyfriend responded with a horribly loud, horrendous fart, and loudly announced, "This is war." There were people, lots of people. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22756) - you deserved it (6679)
Today, I found out my boyfriend is cheating on me with a woman twice my age. I'm 32. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40990) - you deserved it (2644)
On 11/26/2011 at 12:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)
Today, I found a condom on my bed with a note written by my girlfriend that said, "Since you started acting like a dick, you might as well dress like one." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9353) - you deserved it (42219)
Today, while jogging, I heard an odd clapping sound over the sound of my iPod. I stopped running, and the sound stopped. This continued for an hour before I realized the slapping sound was my thighs slapping together violently. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22631) - you deserved it (8149)
On 11/22/2011 at 10:21pm - health - by thunderthighs644 (woman) -
Today, I went to my doctor. I casually asked him why I keep getting headaches after I masturbate. He said it probably was a sign from God. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27975) - you deserved it (8708)
On 11/22/2011 at 4:36am - intimacy - by toomuch (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I told my boss about a coworker that had been hitting on me. She looked me dead in the eye and said "I was afraid that would happen. He's a bit of a chubby chaser." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26157) - you deserved it (3451)
On 11/17/2011 at 11:50am - work - by Chubby - United States
Today, I was reading a book in German, which I don't know very well. Suddenly I reached a passage I had no trouble understanding. Excited, I showed my husband, saying I was finally getting the hang of it. He laughed and patted my head. Turns out, that particular passage was a quote. In English. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7099) - you deserved it (22935)
On 11/16/2011 at 7:37pm - misc - by dunicha - United States (Texas)
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when he suddenly pulls out and says, "Pull my penis." So I pulled his penis and he farted. Then he started doing it again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29389) - you deserved it (5243)
On 11/16/2011 at 12:27am - intimacy - by halloweed (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was following my friend to her house in my car, because I didn't know where it was. I'd been following her for at least an hour when she pulled into a gas station. Turns out I'd been following the wrong car. I have no idea where I am. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23139) - you deserved it (8570)
On 11/12/2011 at 1:43am - misc - by friedchicken - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was working the graveyard shift as a security guard. I fell asleep in my car doing paperwork around 2 am. When my supervisor came to check on me, he pounded on my window, wearing a "Scream" mask. I panicked and pepper sprayed him. Too bad my window was closed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11712) - you deserved it (22007)
On 11/10/2011 at 6:40am - work - by copshop - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. My mum walked in and told him to pull out and show her that he was wearing a condom, and not just saying he was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47492) - you deserved it (6147)
On 11/09/2011 at 7:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)
Friday 24 May 2013
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