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50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, I picked up a prostitute. The prostitute was my sister, and I picked her up from jail. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47964) - you deserved it (3722)
On 02/01/2012 at 10:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, my boyfriend gave me twelve roses and told me that he would love me until the last one dies. Remembering the Facebook like, I began looking for the fake one but couldn't find it. When I pointed out that all twelve were real and would die within days, he responded, "Exactly." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27620) - you deserved it (2158)
On 01/28/2012 at 7:10pm - love - by Shelly P. (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I changed my relationship status on Facebook from "in a relationship" to "single." I forgot to take my phone to work, and when I got back, I saw someone had replied, "What happened?" Someone else commented, "He broke his hand." My ex and a bunch of other "friends" liked it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15192) - you deserved it (3073)
On 01/28/2012 at 4:52pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, a coworker thought it would be funny to put a tack on my chair. When I sat down, it went directly into my butt. When I sprang up, I hit my head on a lamp. I then hit my head on my desk on the way down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24914) - you deserved it (1927)
On 01/25/2012 at 12:03am - work - by Benjamin - United States (California)
Today, I got screamed at, threatened, cursed, and spat on by an elderly couple for "running them off the road". I was driving an ambulance, lights and sirens on, with a 4 year old in the back who couldn't breathe. They were going 20 in a 50mph zone for 2 miles straight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40414) - you deserved it (1582)
On 12/18/2011 at 2:44am - work - by Sedici - United States
Today, my five-year-old daughter told me she was going to throw up. I told her to rush to the bathroom. I followed her a few seconds later, only to find her sitting on the toilet and vomiting onto the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25539) - you deserved it (4491) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I told my boyfriend about how a few years ago I had cancer, and how I underwent radiation therapy. His response? "Did you glow in the dark?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (23403) - you deserved it (2522)
On 12/09/2011 at 2:41am - health - by GlowInTheDark (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I saw my neighbor's Christmas tree they had put up on their porch, with decorative presents under it. Being that my neighbors hate me, I figured I would take a present to piss them off. While walking back home with the present, I opened it. Inside it read "I knew you would, douche bag." FML
I agree, your life sucks (5905) - you deserved it (52741)
On 12/08/2011 at 10:35pm - misc - by lebato97 - United States (Louisiana)
Today, my girlfriend left me. Knowing that I am a germaphobe, she took all of my cleaning supplies and spread mud and trash everywhere. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22603) - you deserved it (5264)
On 12/07/2011 at 10:33pm - health - by skrewedguy (man) - United States
Today, I found out that if a cop asks you if you have any weapons, and you reply by saying "only these guns" while flexing your biceps, they won't take it very well. And neither will the cops down at the station. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9239) - you deserved it (31869)
On 12/06/2011 at 12:24pm - misc - by Anonymous -
Today, I started at my new waitressing job. Our uniforms have the name of the restaurant on the left chest pocket. My first customer asked me what the other boob’s called. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20297) - you deserved it (2025)
On 12/06/2011 at 7:26am - work - by boobywaitress (woman) - Australia
Today, I found that when a hot girl asks you whether you have a girlfriend, saying, "I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one" is not the best way to proceed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7714) - you deserved it (49300)
On 12/06/2011 at 1:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)
Today, my girlfriend refered to her vagina as a meat wallet, and to my penis as small change. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26636) - you deserved it (4032)
On 12/03/2011 at 5:04am - intimacy - by trembelwick - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my boyfriend rear ended a cop car because he was texting me. I was sitting next to him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11739) - you deserved it (16630)
On 11/30/2011 at 8:10pm - misc - by yessir - United States
Today, my fiancé insists that instead of kissing at the crucial moment of our wedding ceremony, we should give each other a high five. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33034) - you deserved it (4319)
On 11/30/2011 at 6:17am - love - by no low five (woman) - United States
Monday 17 June 2013
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