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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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NdnStlkr

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NdnStlkr
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 6 May 1993 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 802
  • Number of comments : 33
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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NdnStlkr's favorite FMLs

Today, I got no happy birthday wishes from anyone. I decided to call my sister to see if she'd remembered. My 6-year-old niece answered, so I told her it was my birthday. She said that it's tomorrow. After ten minutes of arguing with a 6-year-old, I checked the calendar. It's tomorrow. FML

#6476260 (101)

I agree, your life sucks (4465) - you deserved it (37418)

On 11/27/2009 at 9:26am - misc - by forgotmyownbirthday (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I went to Disneyworld. I fell and hit my head while jumping up and down to see Ariel. I'm a 35 year old man. FML

#6461124 (84)

I agree, your life sucks (7051) - you deserved it (26992)

On 11/26/2009 at 11:30am - misc - by disney - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, at work, I screamed, used one of my employees as a human shield, dove for cover, and cried. Why? A bat flew into my store. Bats scare me shitless. FML

#6342558 (112)

I agree, your life sucks (16194) - you deserved it (6788)

On 11/17/2009 at 3:55pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I went to the pharmacy to purchase a brace for my sprained wrist. My wife and I had recently ran out of KY lotion, so I decided to pick up a bottle while I was there. It didn't occur to me that these two items could be perceived as being related until the cashier began to giggle. FML

#6285234 (126)

I agree, your life sucks (17486) - you deserved it (4297)

On 11/13/2009 at 7:57am - misc - by joeheathen (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I realized that the drunk-me deletes my texts, so the sober-me doesn't get mad. Well turns out, whatever the drunk-me said, caused me to lose my job, my girlfriend, and my coffee machine. FML

#6100010 (179)

I agree, your life sucks (8678) - you deserved it (32414)

On 11/01/2009 at 11:35am - misc - by Joe (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I decided to pay a suprise visit to my boyfriend's house. I let myself in, walked up to his bedroom and found him dancing around. In the dress I had left the other weekend. FML

#5971650 (126)

I agree, your life sucks (25347) - you deserved it (3740)

On 10/24/2009 at 8:20am - misc - by nnnaaazzz - United Kingdom (London)

Today, as I was driving with my boyfriend, he pointed out what a crappy car I drive. About how the locks don't work, the vents are broken, the windshield wipers are busted, my headlights aren't bright, and a hubcap is missing. Then he said I’m a good match for my car, 'cos we have the same “personality". FML

#5969153 (78)

I agree, your life sucks (21334) - you deserved it (2296)

On 10/24/2009 at 1:07am - love - by Clunker (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I carved a pumpkin for Halloween. I thought it would be cool to carve my name, and have it shine through onto the wall behind it. I figured that if I carved my name backwards then it would show up correct on the wall. My name's Lana and now my wall says Anal. FML

#5954141 (191)

I agree, your life sucks (8653) - you deserved it (31538)

On 10/23/2009 at 1:22am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I was walking home from my acting gig at a haunted hayride. Even after spending lots of time washing the fake blood off my hands and face, I looked like I'd murdered someone. Perhaps that's why an officer stopped me and questioned me about a stabbing that happened earlier tonight. FML

#5891401 (74)

I agree, your life sucks (25205) - you deserved it (2605)

On 10/19/2009 at 2:08am - work - by worldsbestjobgonebad (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my 5 year old daughter came back from a playdate at her new friend's house. Apparently, while she was there, her friend taught her a new way to get anything she wanted. That would be holding her breath until she passes out. FML

#5876534 (177)

I agree, your life sucks (29723) - you deserved it (2024)

On 10/18/2009 at 9:36am - kids - by Pleasebreathe (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got diagnosed with a condition that expresses itself in the form of violent diarrhea whenever I get nervous. Now I am constantly nervous about getting nervous about anything. FML

#5876533 (99)

I agree, your life sucks (33759) - you deserved it (1601)

On 10/18/2009 at 9:36am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Sweden (Norrbottens Lan)

Today, while walking in the mall, I spotted my ex boyfriend with his friends. To make myself look less lonely, I put my iPhone up to my ear and started an imaginary conversation with my invisible boyfriend. As I passed him, my phone started ringing loudly. It was him calling. He knew I was faking. FML

#5820033 (112)

I agree, your life sucks (5440) - you deserved it (25719)

On 10/13/2009 at 9:34pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I got a text message from a number I didn't know telling me, "Fine. It's over, have a wonderful life." I've never had a girlfriend and now I get broken up with by girls I don't even know. FML

#5815085 (110)

I agree, your life sucks (23781) - you deserved it (2380)

On 10/13/2009 at 11:52am - love - by dudezilla (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I had an argument with my wife. I told her to get back in the kitchen. How does she respond? By doing what I told her to do, and returning to hit me with a frying pan. FML

#5811871 (363)

I agree, your life sucks (5380) - you deserved it (69163)

On 10/13/2009 at 2:54am - love - by PanFace (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend left for a month-long trip with his buddies. I stood near the door waiting for a goodbye kiss. He kissed his xbox goodbye instead. FML

#5759399 (103)

I agree, your life sucks (27718) - you deserved it (3775)

On 10/10/2009 at 3:04pm - love - by kissless (woman) - United States (Maine)