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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, my mom revealed to me that when I was in Preschool, I used to get caught in the bathroom with little boys while I was feeling their "no no" area. I was giving hand jobs to boys before I could read. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20555) - you deserved it (5202)
On 12/15/2009 at 9:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I saw my four-year-old son running around outside, and copying everything our dog was doing. I thought it was cute, so I went to grab the camera. When I went back outside, I saw my dog eating a dead rabbit, and my son doing the same. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30441) - you deserved it (4298)
On 12/13/2009 at 7:42pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was walking on the boardwalk with my mom when an old man came up and asked me to marry him. He promised he would buy me a Mercedes if I did. The man was homeless and delusional. My mom told me I should take the offer because it would be the best offer I could get. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24521) - you deserved it (1959)
On 11/23/2009 at 1:09pm - misc - by ellie (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I drove 600 miles to be with my boyfriend of two years for his uncle's funeral. He didn't want me to come because I am seven months pregnant and flying is dangerous in the third trimester. When I got there I don't know who was more suprised to see me: him, his wife, or their kids. FML
I agree, your life sucks (63046) - you deserved it (4397)
On 11/08/2009 at 10:39am - love - by homewrecker - United States
Today, I was pretending to be a monkey for a "documentary". The branch snapped and I fell out of the tree and onto a car roof. It was after school, I fell onto the dean's BMW. The video was on facebook before I regained consciousness. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22388) - you deserved it (7590)
On 10/09/2009 at 10:04am - misc - by jane (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I went to my cousin's farm with my family. First I was pooped on by a goose, peed on by a puppy, bit in the face by the mother dog, fell through the floor of the barn loft, and without knowing it was electric, rested my hand on the horse fence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32773) - you deserved it (6614)
On 09/28/2009 at 4:36pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I drove by a restaurant I ate at yesterday. I write a food review column for my college paper, and I've tried everything on their menu. They were being closed down today because a large amount of rat droppings was found in their food supplies. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30807) - you deserved it (2126)
On 09/14/2009 at 10:32pm - misc - by TampaBayJJ - United States (Florida)
Today, I stretched really hard when I woke up, only to feel something twang. This was followed by a really sharp pain. Thinking I'd given myself a hernia, I got up to check myself in the mirror, and was repulsed by the bulge I saw hanging out of my gut. Then I realised it was just my own flab. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7006) - you deserved it (26752)
On 08/29/2009 at 10:15am - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne)
Today, I found out that the horrific smell coming from somewhere in my kitchen was a rotting dead mouse in my dishwasher. I have been eating off plates washed in dead-mouse water for the past week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46484) - you deserved it (7976)
On 08/26/2009 at 4:44am - misc - by hantavirus (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, for the first time in about 3 years, I decided to clean my car. It was going really well until I looked down at what I was about to pick up. On the back seat floor lay a dead snake, which at one point, for god knows how long, was living in my car while I unknowningly drove it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10364) - you deserved it (32342)
On 08/24/2009 at 12:49am - misc - by snakeboy (man) - Australia (South Australia)
Today, I was in the car with my husband complaining about the way I look. His response, "Babe, if I cared about the way you looked I wouldnt have married you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (36015) - you deserved it (12096)
On 07/26/2009 at 11:16am - love - by JennaMarie (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I found one of those online color blindness tests where you have to distinguish a colored number from the pattern. Not being able to, I spent hundreds of dollars on medical tests to discover that the pattern online was a joke. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9585) - you deserved it (49676)
On 07/05/2009 at 5:49pm - misc - by colorblind (woman) - United States (California)
Today, while reading some chemistry notes I came across the term "solid water". Completely stumped, I asked myself, "What the hell is solid water?" Then I heard my little cousin say "ice." I'm a 4th year science major in university. He still checks the closet for monsters. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21682) - you deserved it (61475)
On 06/23/2009 at 10:19am - work - by uneek14 (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was in the grocery store getting bananas and there was this real hot guy next to me. He said hey beautiful so I smiled. He then asked if I was free on friday night. I smiled and said "yes why do you ask?" He looked up from the bananas and pointed to the bluetooth in his ear. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45728) - you deserved it (10970)
On 06/21/2009 at 3:50pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I turned 30 years old. My dad, the only living relative I have, gave me a call. Not to wish me a happy birthday, but to tell me about "a hot piece of ass" he nailed at the senior center last night. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46515) - you deserved it (1875)
On 05/30/2009 at 11:18am - misc - by willieboom (man) - United States (Washington)
Monday 20 May 2013
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