About Naomiiiii : I'm awesome
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I ran into a guy who I was completely in love with for months. After a couple of minutes, I realised he totally bores me senseless. What a waste of 4 months obsessing over that shithead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11421) - you deserved it (45229)
Today, I went up to a girl at a bus stop and started chatting her up. Her response? "Am I being robbed?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (23999) - you deserved it (5211)
On 04/04/2011 at 2:15am - misc - by Anonymous - Mozambique (Maputo)
Today, I was out enjoying my daily jog, when out of nowhere, a group of kids in a passing car pelted me with ketchup-filled water balloons. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35757) - you deserved it (3540)
On 04/01/2011 at 2:16pm - misc - by Natalie - United States (Texas)
Today, I opened a cupboard and a brick fell on my head. The same brick my mum put up there to "keep it out of the way". FML
I agree, your life sucks (25017) - you deserved it (3077)
On 03/23/2011 at 11:22am - misc - by EllieJ -
TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30170) - you deserved it (24886)
On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)
Today, my mom banned me from watching The Simpsons and Family Guy because apparently, they're part of "the Devil's plan to corrupt God's children". FML
I agree, your life sucks (37578) - you deserved it (8639)
On 03/18/2011 at 5:40pm - misc - by Jonathan (man) - Denmark (Midtjyllen)
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. I started to moan right when I was about to climax. He got worried, stopped and asked, "Are you okay?!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (38885) - you deserved it (6435)
On 03/16/2011 at 12:50pm - intimacy - by thisblows - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my boyfriend did the Austin Powers dance/strip-tease while dancing to 'I Touch Myself'. It was cute until he ripped off his shirt and revealed that he'd shaved his chest hair in the shape of a penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38955) - you deserved it (7129)
On 03/10/2011 at 10:08am - intimacy - by Anon (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML
I agree, your life sucks (14073) - you deserved it (66853)
On 03/01/2011 at 6:51pm - intimacy - by Anon. (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was fired. My boss told me via email that it was because I "don't have enough experience with fun spiritual." Uh, what? FML
I agree, your life sucks (20974) - you deserved it (1775)
On 02/23/2011 at 5:36pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I was eating a hotdog. My huge Siberian Husky, upon becoming aware of this, jumped up on me. He forced his tongue into my mouth and ate the food I was in the middle of eating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22119) - you deserved it (5249)
On 03/10/2010 at 8:14pm - misc - by Hannah (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML
I agree, your life sucks (46790) - you deserved it (127943)
On 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm - intimacy - by FML.. (woman) - China (Hebei)
Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (199742) - you deserved it (58904)
On 04/02/2009 at 1:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)
Friday 24 May 2013
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