About N3v3rst0pz : ...what about me?
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20423) - you deserved it (1706)
On 11/08/2012 at 11:54pm - misc - by Targeted - United States (Washington)
Today, my boyfriend and I were preparing for the arrival of Hurricane Sandy. I tasked him with going out to buy emergency groceries in case we lose power. He returned with dozens of microwave cup noodles. We're going to starve. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18842) - you deserved it (2880)
On 10/28/2012 at 4:14pm - love - by cupnoodles (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29506) - you deserved it (2878)
Today, at the beach, my boyfriend picked me up and carried me over his shoulder. I felt my bikini top come undone in the process. I panicked and pulled down on his shorts. We were fined for indecent exposure. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16177) - you deserved it (6525)
On 06/08/2012 at 10:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, while working in my pharmacy, a patient told me that he sometimes wants to jump the counter and skin me alive. He has no more refills, and his doctor is out of town for the week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21333) - you deserved it (1175)
On 09/01/2011 at 2:22am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Today, I slipped on a plastic bag that my mom, the hoarder, was keeping on the stairs. I fell and sprained my ankle, getting rug burn in the process. Her response? Getting mad at me, putting the bag back on the stairs, then getting another to add to the pile. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22225) - you deserved it (1969)
On 08/14/2011 at 12:36am - health - by MomLovesMeLessThanTrash - United States (California)
Today, my husband, who is in the Navy, had a couple of his sailor friends over to hang out. The stereotype about their swearing is true. My two year old now won't stop saying "Fuck." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26073) - you deserved it (4309)
On 07/23/2011 at 12:05am - kids - by oliveoyl (woman) - United States (California)
Today, it is both my birthday and Easter. My whole family came into town and my mom made a big dinner with all of my favorite foods. After church, I took a nap. When I woke up, all the food, including my cake, was gone. No one thought to wake me up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28929) - you deserved it (4872)
On 04/24/2011 at 4:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Today, while shopping at American Eagle, I found the same "$1,500" wedding ring my fiancé proposed to me with, marked on sale for $10.95. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42121) - you deserved it (6954)
On 04/24/2011 at 1:56am - love - by kyla - United States (California)
Today, my husband and I had the grand opening to our new winery. We had a big sign out front saying "FREE GRAPES", to try and get more people interested. People kept giving us dirty looks when passing. We later realized there was something covering the "G". FML
I agree, your life sucks (26968) - you deserved it (7539)
On 04/24/2011 at 12:10am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I tried to get my wife to have sex with me, she told me she couldn't because she had her period. She's two months pregnant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37587) - you deserved it (8004)
On 04/20/2011 at 12:31pm - intimacy - by Andrew - United States
Today, at work, I spent half an hour trying to convince an elderly customer that no, I wasn't a messenger sent by the devil to take her soul to hell. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27617) - you deserved it (2439)
On 04/20/2011 at 10:15am - work - by rawr -
Today, I subbed for a first grade class. They were releasing butterflies. Butterflies scare me shitless. A bunch of 7 year-olds watched as I screamed hysterically when one landed on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16219) - you deserved it (24687)
On 04/06/2011 at 2:22am - animals - by mottephobe - United States (Utah)
Today, I was sitting in Walmart and I saw an attractive woman walking by. Being the single guy I am, I went up to her and asked if she needed help with carrying her groceries. She responded with "You know I'm a guy right?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (25754) - you deserved it (12243)
On 03/26/2011 at 2:24am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, my cat fell into the bathtub while walking along the rim. This wouldn't have been so bad if I wasn't in it at the time, and if my skin was immune to being sliced open by a frantic kitty. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21970) - you deserved it (3795)
On 03/25/2011 at 10:27pm - animals - by ouch -
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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