Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

N3v3rst0pz

Search for a member

N3v3rst0pz

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 1 November 1979 (34 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 325
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About N3v3rst0pz : ...what about me?

N3v3rst0pz's FML badges

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of N3v3rst0pz's badges

N3v3rst0pz's favorite FMLs

Today, I was talking to my husband about our favorite TV show, when he took my face in his hands and sweetly whispered, "You're so pretty. Why must you ruin it with words?" FML

#20880791
102 comments

Today, I was playing World of Warcraft, when all of a sudden, I remembered I was supposed to be at a wedding. I was 25 minutes late to my own wedding. FML

#20880446
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22154) - you deserved it (88954)

On 09/14/2013 at 1:23am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML

#20155776
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26071) - you deserved it (2136)

On 11/08/2012 at 11:54pm - misc - by Targeted - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend and I were preparing for the arrival of Hurricane Sandy. I tasked him with going out to buy emergency groceries in case we lose power. He returned with dozens of microwave cup noodles. We're going to starve. FML

#20137235
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23602) - you deserved it (3391)

On 10/28/2012 at 4:14pm - love - by cupnoodles (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

#19793582
401 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37117) - you deserved it (3994)

On 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm - misc - by 16590 (man) - Sweden

Today, at the beach, my boyfriend picked me up and carried me over his shoulder. I felt my bikini top come undone in the process. I panicked and pulled down on his shorts. We were fined for indecent exposure. FML

#19757535
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21495) - you deserved it (8994)

On 06/08/2012 at 10:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, while working in my pharmacy, a patient told me that he sometimes wants to jump the counter and skin me alive. He has no more refills, and his doctor is out of town for the week. FML

#17633447
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26925) - you deserved it (1729)

On 09/01/2011 at 2:22am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I slipped on a plastic bag that my mom, the hoarder, was keeping on the stairs. I fell and sprained my ankle, getting rug burn in the process. Her response? Getting mad at me, putting the bag back on the stairs, then getting another to add to the pile. FML

#17465533
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26788) - you deserved it (2294)

On 08/14/2011 at 12:36am - health - by MomLovesMeLessThanTrash - United States (California)

Today, my husband, who is in the Navy, had a couple of his sailor friends over to hang out. The stereotype about their swearing is true. My two year old now won't stop saying "Fuck." FML

#17224016
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30952) - you deserved it (4712)

On 07/23/2011 at 12:05am - kids - by oliveoyl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, it is both my birthday and Easter. My whole family came into town and my mom made a big dinner with all of my favorite foods. After church, I took a nap. When I woke up, all the food, including my cake, was gone. No one thought to wake me up. FML

#15910570
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34717) - you deserved it (6259)

On 04/24/2011 at 4:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, while shopping at American Eagle, I found the same "$1,500" wedding ring my fiancé proposed to me with, marked on sale for $10.95. FML

#15904630
377 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48798) - you deserved it (8780)

On 04/24/2011 at 1:56am - love - by kyla - United States (California)

Today, my husband and I had the grand opening to our new winery. We had a big sign out front saying "FREE GRAPES", to try and get more people interested. People kept giving us dirty looks when passing. We later realized there was something covering the "G". FML

#15903380
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32640) - you deserved it (9477)

On 04/24/2011 at 12:10am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I tried to get my wife to have sex with me, she told me she couldn't because she had her period. She's two months pregnant. FML

#15858919
360 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44289) - you deserved it (10280)

On 04/20/2011 at 12:31pm - intimacy - by Andrew - United States

Today, at work, I spent half an hour trying to convince an elderly customer that no, I wasn't a messenger sent by the devil to take her soul to hell. FML

#15857597
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32861) - you deserved it (3158)

On 04/20/2011 at 10:15am - work - by rawr -

Today, I subbed for a first grade class. They were releasing butterflies. Butterflies scare me shitless. A bunch of 7 year-olds watched as I screamed hysterically when one landed on me. FML

#15661118
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19774) - you deserved it (32816)

On 04/06/2011 at 2:22am - animals - by mottephobe - United States (Utah)



FML's blog

  • Freaks's Illustrated FML
  • What's going on? Something weird is going on. I can feel it in my bones. Can't you? People are acting weird, as if they're short-fused all of a sudden. There's definitely…

Friday 1 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: