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N1GHTS's favorite FMLs
Today, I received a friend request on Facebook. I didn't know her, but she was cute, so I accepted the request. After looking at her pictures, I sent her a message saying "What's up cutie, do I know you?". She responded "Yes, I'm your cousin". FML
by crucets / 10/06/2010 at 12:37am / United States (Texas) / Love
by Pr unlucky / 10/02/2010 at 4:07am / Australia (Western Australia) / Love
Today, I finally had the confidence to show my girlfriend my hairy chest/stomach. I'm very self conscious about it, and get embarrassed easily. She said I looked disgusting, called me Chewbacca and broke up with me on the spot. FML
by Anonymous / 09/26/2010 at 5:26am / Vietnam (Ha Noi) / Love
by Wawawiwa / 07/21/2010 at 7:44pm / Namibia (Windhoek) / Intimacy
by pumpkinlover89 / 03/27/2010 at 4:26am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I lost my phone. I tried to call it using my husband's phone, but couldn't figure out which of the three Kates in the contact list was me. Turns out, two are co-workers and one is his aunt. I was listed under Satan. FML
by Satan / 03/15/2010 at 7:22pm / United States (Washington) / Love
Today, my girlfriend blew up at me for a comment I had made several weeks ago about not wanting kids. Then, she told me that she's pregnant. After consoling her and telling her that whatever we do, we'll do it together, she further explained that she's not sure if it's mine. FML
by Anonymous / 03/05/2010 at 7:54am / United States (Georgia) / Love
by grrrrrr / 02/19/2010 at 1:18am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, my mother told me that the carbon-monoxide alarm went off last night, but since she didn't smell any gas, she decided to just remove the batteries and go back to bed. I had to explain to her that you can't smell carbon monoxide, and that we could have died in our sleep. FML
by Kelso / 02/06/2010 at 1:22pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I went out on my first date in 2 months. My sister and her friends were also at the same restaurant we went to. I decided to ignore them but they didn't. As a joke, they though it would be funny if her friend came up and said, "I had fun last night, we should do it again". My date left. FML
by Anonymous / 01/31/2010 at 8:35am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out I was getting a divorce. My wife is leaving me for my brother, saying that now that he has money there is nothing that can stand in their way. I recently decided to send him money to help him get back on his feet. FML
by hahahaha090114 / 01/30/2010 at 1:59pm / United States (New York) / Love
by Funnymann / 01/22/2010 at 3:51pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my friend told me men can't be trusted. I told her that wasn't true; I have my husband's password to his email but I never check it because I trust him. She bet me he was doing something bad, and to prove her wrong I looked. Turns out he has been cheating on me for 8 months. FML
by BetrayedGirl / 01/13/2010 at 7:40am / United States (Tennessee) / Love
Today, at a bar, a woman approched me and tried to set me up with her friend. Looking around, the only people in the bar were a man reading the paper and a very ugly woman, looking at me and smiling. I worriedly replied, "I'm sorry, but I'm gay." Turns out her friend was the one reading the paper. FML
by awkward23 / 01/12/2010 at 5:26am / United States (Washington) / Love
by Absent / 01/12/2010 at 12:42am / France / Miscellaneous
- Today, I’m in Thailand and I met a monk. The conversation was so deep and interesting that, without… Today, a lady came for a death certificate at the city hall reception where I work. Reflexively, I… Today, I sprayed pepper spray on a guy who appeared to be following me. He was really cute, and was…