Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

MzMegs

Offline (5 hours ago) | Search for a member

MzMegs

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Phoenix, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 21 July 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3956
  • Number of comments : 141
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About MzMegs : I'm Meghan.

MzMegs's page activity

Visits<b>helpmeimdreaming</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 12:53pm<b>cocainewhore</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 9:02am<b>xDochx</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 5:22pm<b>ac21714</b> - the 05/07/2014 at 5:48pm<b>Somefruits</b> - the 04/16/2014 at 5:51am<b>HiitsMiranda</b> - the 03/14/2014 at 12:57pm<b>thisguy184</b> - the 02/22/2014 at 11:18pm<b>Terzy</b> - the 01/22/2014 at 11:32pm<b>jpro12</b> - the 11/17/2013 at 5:02pm<b>oxythemoron</b> - the 09/23/2013 at 7:15am<b>roza_and_dimka</b> - the 09/17/2013 at 9:23am<b>toomanyidiots</b> - the 09/16/2013 at 12:52am<b>MasterTron</b> - the 09/15/2013 at 11:05pm<b>Brunel0813</b> - the 09/11/2013 at 5:35pm<b>RawrImaDragon</b> - the 08/05/2013 at 5:31pm<b>TheSlimeCat</b> - the 07/18/2013 at 4:15pm<b>RebelColsoul</b> - the 06/29/2013 at 1:50pm<b>Aspireworks</b> - the 06/06/2013 at 5:26pm

MzMegs's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of MzMegs's badges

MzMegs's favorite FMLs

Today, while in a public restroom I could hear a guy having his way with his hand. He was quoting verses from the bible. I was in a cubicle and he was at the urinal. I was too frightened to leave. This went on for a very long time. FML

#14234444
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33704) - you deserved it (3076)

On 12/17/2010 at 11:05am - intimacy - by biblewanker - Australia

Today, I went to pick up my daughter from preschool. When I got there, I ran to give her a hug. She screamed and ran away. FML

#14222571
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29851) - you deserved it (4027)

On 12/16/2010 at 9:35am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Taiwan (T'ai-pei)

Today, I found out what sound a hammer makes when it strikes the back of my hand. FML

#14220406
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25084) - you deserved it (5414)

On 12/16/2010 at 1:32am - health - by nukebroadcast - United States (Nevada)

Today, a man dressed as Santa Claus walked by me, grabbing my butt. He smelled of pipe tobacco and pee. He pulled me close to him and whispered, "I bet you're naughty but you feel so nice." I looked dumbfounded at him as he winked and yelled, "You're on my list." FML

#14208916
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37166) - you deserved it (3794)

On 12/15/2010 at 12:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, whilst pleasuring myself in my bedroom, I began absent-mindedly staring at a spider on the ceiling. It wasn't until the point of climax that I realised that I was, in effect, masturbating over a spider. FML

#14205128
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23573) - you deserved it (20488)

On 12/14/2010 at 7:00pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, I got home from work to find an eviction notice taped to my door, stating that I was a nuisance and had 30 days to vacate the property. I live at home with my parents. FML

#14202478
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24827) - you deserved it (8086)

On 12/14/2010 at 1:41pm - misc - by homeless (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to see a famous rapper perform. My girlfriend got us up to the front to get pictures with him. He went to give me a high-five, I thought it was a fist-bump, so I made a fist. So he made a fist while I made a palm to match his retracted high-five. Then I panicked, cupped his fist and ran. FML

#13986029
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11872) - you deserved it (27441)

On 11/26/2010 at 10:43am - misc - by blackitalian - United States

Today, whilst driving to the store, an idiot driver found it to be okay to drive ridiculously fast in below freezing temperatures on the ice and snow. As he passed my car, I angrily gave him the finger. And then I realized I was wearing mittens. FML

Today, my boss was being a total asshole. While in the bathroom, he turned his back on me, so I gave him the finger, mouthed obscenities, and pantomimed stabbing him with a knife. He was looking in the mirror and saw everything. FML

#13947465
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8350) - you deserved it (57297)

On 11/23/2010 at 8:41am - work - by fired (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was taking off my underwear to change into fresh clothes. Pulling them down, I realize there's a big fat spider in them. Not only did I have a spider chilling with my genitals the whole day, but I'm deathly afraid of them. FML

#13930948
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33928) - you deserved it (4621)

On 11/21/2010 at 10:42pm - animals - by dickwebs - Germany

Today, I woke up to find that my cat had knocked over a $35 can of powdered baby formula, and there were TWO different colonies of ants warring over the bounty all over the counter. FML

#13930186
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19642) - you deserved it (3583)

On 11/21/2010 at 9:51pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was outside, eating a sandwich, when I noticed a homeless man was standing in front of me. Upon making eye contact, he grabbed the rest of my sandwich and ran off. FML

#13816723
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22538) - you deserved it (4433)

On 11/12/2010 at 4:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, a girl who has had a problem with me for as long as I can remember, tagged me in a Facebook status update in which she equated my intelligence to that of a mollusk and equated my weight to that of a hippopotamus. My boyfriend, as well as several of my "friends," liked it. FML

#13789800
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27417) - you deserved it (3981)

On 11/10/2010 at 12:33pm - misc - by smarter than a mollusk, skinner than a hippo - United States

Today, I ran into a police officer while on my bike. It wouldn't be so bad, had he not been riding a massive horse. FML

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex for the first time. While we were undressing each other, he said, "Wow, if we have children, you're gonna have to shave, or they'll die from rug-burn as they come out!" FML

#13654098
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34791) - you deserved it (27675)

On 10/30/2010 at 8:37pm - intimacy - by tht1chk - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • AD_e's Illustrated FML
  • Hi gang ! It's Friday once more and time for us to go on a magical mystery tour around the brain of yet another illustrator. This week, things have happened around the world that were so depressing, I don't…

Monday 18 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: