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Today, I found out exactly what Ducolax stool softener is all about. Holy colon cleanse Batman! FML
I agree, your life sucks (2371) - you totally deserved it (10129)
On 03/03/2010 at 11:34am - health - by Username - Sent from a mobile version
Today, my boyfriend and I went for a swim in his pool. I was hoping that the swim would be somewhat romantic, however, that came to an abrupt end when he decided that it would be cool and funny to try and lift me up by my boobs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17963) - you totally deserved it (2204)
On 01/20/2010 at 11:17am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, I was on a long-haul plane journey home from my holiday. After 5 hours, I decided to stretch my arms whilst watching a movie. Little did I know that a little girl was approaching, running down the aisle as my arm stretched out. I accidentally clothes-lined a little 9 year old girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15061) - you totally deserved it (1712)
On 01/07/2010 at 7:25pm - misc - by James4929 (man) - United Kingdom
Today, my girlfriend came over to my house. Hoping to get a little action, i started to make out with her. Unfortunately I was wearing basketball shorts so when I got an erection all she did was bat it back forth like a cat toy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4840) - you totally deserved it (1587)
On 12/22/2009 at 8:09pm - intimacy - by shallowvomit1013 (man) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I found out where all my expensive bras and panties have been disappearing to. Apparently, while I'm at work, my fifteen year-old son's girlfriend has been stealing them after they have sex in my bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7781) - you totally deserved it (1164)
On 12/21/2009 at 10:28pm - intimacy - by Secretisout (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I sneezed seven times in a row. That's the closest thing I've had to an orgasm in months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6047) - you totally deserved it (1321)
On 12/19/2009 at 11:13pm - intimacy - by omglifee (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I had a blind date that my friend set me up for. My date was the ugliest, most disgusting person you will ever meet, but I thought that I would give him a chance. He saw me, eyed me up and down, then said to my friend "You're kidding, right?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (25002) - you totally deserved it (5867)
On 11/04/2009 at 1:51am - love - by BlackCheetah101 (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my boyfriend of 3 months and I finally had it off. He sounds like Chewbacca when he comes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7407) - you totally deserved it (1509)
On 11/02/2009 at 9:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my little 7 and 6 year old cousins came visit my family home. I heard the oldest one say that my sister was nice and pretty. Then the youngest replied "Yeah, but the older one has the face of a murderer." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29285) - you totally deserved it (1783)
On 07/31/2009 at 12:01am - kids - by BadMurderer (woman) - Mexico (Tabasco)
Today, I learned that when you flush the toilet, the contents do not disappear into oblivion. They show up in your basement when your sewer backs up. And they come in greater numbers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37247) - you totally deserved it (2162)
On 07/16/2009 at 3:26am - misc - by megxox (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I got a call saying that my son was chasing all the girls in the class with his "Sword of Death" (my dildo). FML
I agree, your life sucks (53136) - you totally deserved it (24591)
On 05/21/2009 at 3:18pm - kids - by a (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)
Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (88696) - you totally deserved it (19183)
On 05/17/2009 at 8:33am - intimacy - by wtfdreams (man) - United States (California)
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