About MysteryManPerson : Heya person :D okay so I am a honest person (I don't lie, I simply don't tell the truth) who wings just about everything, bad habit I know but hey who wants to plan things :), very competitive, I love to joke around with people and I do creep on your pages (keep in mind when you visit mine)... Oh before I forget (selective memory) message me if you want to know more (; (I don't want to write more to tell you the truth) mmmmk. Peace the Peace Out.
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MysteryManPerson's favorite FMLs
by father of the year / 08/01/2013 at 2:21am / United States / Kids
by Anonymous / 07/28/2013 at 12:59am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was in a training about the newest changes in CPR. The trainer was discussing chest compression techniques and said she prefers "good, fast, hard pumping." I was the only one who snickered out loud, drawing several annoyed looks from the other trainees. I'm a 45-year-old doctor. FML
by Anonymous / 07/25/2013 at 11:15pm / United States (North Carolina) / Work
Today, I took a dump in the woods at a secluded lake. I used the leaves of a seemingly harmless tree to clean myself. However, I was unaware that the leaf was poisonous. It feels like a thousand hornets are attacking my ass-crack. FML
by poisonivyretard / 06/04/2013 at 1:15pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Health
Today, I got dragged along to a family dinner. Some idiot invited my douchebag vegan uncle, who spent half the night making condescending remarks and lecturing us on how disgusting it was to have steak on offer at the table. A fistfight eventually erupted, and the cops were called. FML
by Anonymous / 05/26/2013 at 12:56pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my friends and I were playing truth or dare game. It was late and we were drunk, so they dared me to run naked into my neighbor's yard while yelling, "Help! The pixies took my penis!" I ran screaming right into their big family reunion. FML
by nekkidness / 11/21/2012 at 4:06pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 06/02/2012 at 11:16am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
by britt71411 / 01/13/2012 at 12:17pm / United States (Texas) / Love
by Skidaddle123 / 08/23/2011 at 12:15pm / United Kingdom (North Lincolnshire) / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend was telling me how concerned she was about her weight. I told her not to worry, because it gives more cushion for the pushin' anyway. She picked up a lamp and threw it right at my dingleberries. FML
by ouch / 12/09/2009 at 12:09pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, I went swinging with my friend at the park. Seeing a few cute guys playing basketball, I tried to act cute, laughing loudly and letting my hair fly all over the place. Just as they look over the swing broke. I fell on my face, my jeans sliding down, mooning them. They laughed hysterically. FML
by xxxdwangelaxxx / 04/18/2009 at 5:08pm / United States (Illinois) / Love
Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML
by Anonymous / 03/21/2009 at 12:46am / United States (Florida) / Kids
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