About My_Nightmare : I occasionally use the actual FML website so don't hesitate to message me if you feel the need.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Judgmental
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, my roommates sent a relationship request to my one night stand with my Facebook account. She accepted, and sent me a long message confessing her love for me. I can't remember her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18861) - you deserved it (14186)
Today, working as an EMT on an ambulance, we had a patient who refused to accept that he had a massive GI bleed, despite the fact that bloody stool was flowing from his anus all over my ambulance. To make things worse, my EMT ride-along student puked all over the patient. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21834) - you deserved it (1272)
On 10/25/2011 at 12:30am - work - by fire1 (man) - United States (California)
Today, I woke up, showered, and began brushing my teeth. When I started to brush my tongue I gagged, like usual, and threw up a little. What's unusual? I threw up a cockroach. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45606) - you deserved it (3601)
On 10/23/2011 at 7:45am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I had to come up with a reward system for getting my boyfriend to brush his teeth daily. He's 24. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22275) - you deserved it (4995)
On 10/23/2011 at 2:23am - health - by lynnie - United States (Texas)
Today, I dislocated my jaw while giving my boyfriend a blowjob. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34874) - you deserved it (14434)
On 10/23/2011 at 1:45am - intimacy - by canucks_chick - Canada
Today, I dislocated my jaw while giving my boyfriend a blowjob. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34874) - you deserved it (14434)
On 10/23/2011 at 1:45am - intimacy - by canucks_chick - Canada
Today, I was relaxing at home while my boyfriend played with his hamster. After a while of silence, my boyfriend came over and put his fingers next to my face. Trying to be cute, I stuck his fingers in my mouth and sucked on them. Turns out he was trying to show me how bad hamster pee smells. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14438) - you deserved it (42788)
On 10/22/2011 at 2:10am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I was just about to sit down to watch my favorite TV show when my dog jumped over the back of my couch, landed on my head and tried to jump through the window. I now have concussion and a window to replace, all because of a bird. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20502) - you deserved it (2455)
On 10/21/2011 at 11:35am - animals - by Mr.P - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I thought it would be a great idea to tell my co-worker to calm down when he appeared to be very uptight. He thought it would be a great idea to punch me right in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15952) - you deserved it (8275)
On 10/21/2011 at 7:37am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I had to get my boyfriend's mom to help me get my boyfriend in his house because he was so drunk. He broke up with me for getting him in trouble. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20942) - you deserved it (3505)
On 10/21/2011 at 3:39am - misc - by drunkboysgf - Canada (Saskatchewan)
Today, I found my "lost" bicycle in my best friend's garage. I've been having to catch two buses to get to work for the past few months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19403) - you deserved it (2200)
On 10/20/2011 at 7:51am - misc - by jwhizzle - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I went to the store to pick up some tampons. After waiting in line for about 10 minutes, the male cashier looked at me when I was leaving and said, "Have a nice... week!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (24828) - you deserved it (3393)
On 10/19/2011 at 3:36pm - misc - by sarah (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, my twin boys who are 5 decided to teach each other how to fly off the shed out back. They are still in their pajamas. Batman's arm is broken and Spiderman has a slight concussion. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25902) - you deserved it (4701)
On 10/19/2011 at 10:03am - kids - by optimistic2628 - United States
Today, my best friend who I have known for ten years recommended I didn't continue a relationship with my girlfriend. I thought she wanted to go out with me which I was hoping for, for a long time. Turns out she wanted to go out with her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29014) - you deserved it (4455)
On 10/19/2011 at 8:19am - love - by anonymous - Australia (Victoria)
Today, while leaving a football game, I saw a half-empty bottle of Mountain Dew on the ground. It was night-time and there weren't many people around, so for a laugh, I picked it up and tossed it behind me as hard as I could. It hit someone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5336) - you deserved it (34693)
On 10/17/2011 at 6:54pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)
Monday 17 June 2013
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