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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Mustardnight

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Mustardnight
  • Town/Country : Montreal, Canada
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 1 June 1992 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 1181
  • Number of comments : 257
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Mustardnight : Loves hockey, passionate walks on the beaches of Peruvia

Mustardnight's last visitors

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Mustardnight's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Mustardnight's favorite FMLs

Today, a white guy tried to teach me to use chopsticks properly. I'm Chinese and have been using them since I could eat. FML

#8074881 (177)

I agree, your life sucks (21446) - you deserved it (3103)

On 02/10/2010 at 12:11am - love - by black_commet08 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had the sudden urge to sneeze as I was wiping my ass. Out of instinct, I used my hand to cover my mouth. I never let go of the toilet paper. FML

#7217520 (189)

I agree, your life sucks (19384) - you deserved it (22685)

On 01/08/2010 at 1:48pm - misc - by Hugh_Jankles (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was watching Free Willy with my boyfriend. It was at the part where the boy leaned into the water to give Willy a hug. I asked, "How do you even hug a whale?" My boyfriend rolled over and gave me a hug, and said, "Like this." FML

#7165792 (202)

I agree, your life sucks (27122) - you deserved it (9315)

On 01/05/2010 at 5:03pm - love - by leigh2812 - Sent from mobile version

Today, my girlfriend left me for my sister. I can't stop thinking about all those days they went out alone for "girl time." FML

#6976806 (214)

I agree, your life sucks (34122) - you deserved it (2422)

On 12/27/2009 at 5:34pm - love - by notgoodenough38 (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was in bed with my cat on my lap. No one was around, so I felt comfortable enough to let out a huge fart. What I didn't expect was my cat jumping up and then clawing and biting my crotch. FML

#6971032 (98)

I agree, your life sucks (8636) - you deserved it (17246)

On 12/27/2009 at 8:04am - animals - by axwound (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I have been stuck in the bathroom. Apparently, my 8 year old son decided to sneak in some TurboLax into the juice we left out for Santa. Well played son. FML

#6937557 (132)

I agree, your life sucks (22658) - you deserved it (5107)

On 12/25/2009 at 11:15am - kids - by BathroomMuch (man) - United States (California)

Today, I introduced my family to beerpong. They especially liked the part about distracting each other while shooting. My grandma flashed me. FML

#6933168 (67)

I agree, your life sucks (21205) - you deserved it (7921)

On 12/25/2009 at 1:28am - misc - by ScarredForLife (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had one more gift to buy: a copy of 'Fight Club'. I asked a person working at Best Buy if they had any in stock. The man wouldn't sell me the last copy because I had broken the first two rules. FML

#6923345 (213)

I agree, your life sucks (18603) - you deserved it (8590)

On 12/24/2009 at 3:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was at work at Hollywood Video. A guy came in and left without renting anything. Minutes later, I find human feces between the "Kids" and "Comedy" aisles. FML

#6840782 (81)

I agree, your life sucks (22965) - you deserved it (1231)

On 12/20/2009 at 1:32am - work - by Van (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was taking an important exam for Calculus. Out of nowhere, the kid behind me starts violently kicking my desk. I quickly turn around and yell at him. He was having a seizure. FML

#6804423 (75)

I agree, your life sucks (19670) - you deserved it (6676)

On 12/18/2009 at 12:09am - misc - by Ryan (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got in an elevator at a hotel. Just as the door was closing, somebody banged into the door and stuck their hand through. I yelled, "What, are you retarded?!" The doors then opened to reveal a mentally handicapped boy with his parents standing behind him. FML

#6792235 (156)

I agree, your life sucks (8628) - you deserved it (31914)

On 12/17/2009 at 11:38am - misc - by Mike (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I set up a miniature nativity scene in my apartment. Three hours ago, my dog decided it would be a good idea to eat baby Jesus. Two hours ago, the vet laughed and said not to worry because I would 'have him back in time for Christmas'. FML

#6791199 (113)

I agree, your life sucks (15881) - you deserved it (3594)

On 12/17/2009 at 9:32am - animals - by gettingacat (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I come home to find that my dog has taken a dump on my bed. I quickly put on my house shoes to avoid possibly stepping on any other of his turds. I felt something squish all over my right foot. He also took a dump in my house shoe. FML

#6787921 (92)

I agree, your life sucks (20576) - you deserved it (2887)

On 12/17/2009 at 1:09am - animals - by life_suxxx - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I tried to rid my son of his pacifier. He still uses it to sleep. My son is 20 years old. FML

#6783679 (230)

I agree, your life sucks (23895) - you deserved it (15292)

On 12/16/2009 at 8:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I texted a somewhat overweight girl I wanted to hook up with and asked her "Have you been dating anyone lately?" Unfortunately with predictive text, "dating" came out as "eating". I didn't realize it till after it sent. FML

#6761205 (156)

I agree, your life sucks (12363) - you deserved it (19235)

On 12/15/2009 at 3:32am - love - by Proof-Reader (man) - United States (California)