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Today, I had to go with my mom to the gynecologist to translate due to her broken English. As we were filling out papers and answering questions, the doctor asked some very personal questions. I now know everything about my mom's sex life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37539) - you deserved it (3879)
On 05/21/2013 at 8:10pm - intimacy - by knowtoomuch - United States (Colorado)
Today, and throughout the past week, my electricity, water, cable, and Internet were progressively shut off. Why? Because my deranged mother-in-law has been stealing the money orders I use to pay my bills out of my mailbox. She also stole the late notices because she didn't want me to be "mad". FML
I agree, your life sucks (35765) - you deserved it (2191)
On 05/21/2013 at 6:47pm - money - by LightsOut - United States (Florida)
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate in the backseat of his car, when a police car pulled up behind us. My mom later told me that intimacy was fine, just not in a car. We were in the car because she told me that intimacy was fine, just not in her house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33073) - you deserved it (7902)
On 05/21/2013 at 12:09pm - intimacy - by backseatbusted (woman) - United States
Today, I thought the public restroom I was in was empty, so I started rapping. I realized the room was not empty when, recognizing the song, the person one stall over joined in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22187) - you deserved it (32367)
On 05/21/2013 at 11:01am - misc - by crappingrapping - United States
Today, I got an email saying the gift I'd ordered for my boyfriend of three years had been sent. I ordered it a couple of days ago because I thought he needed cheering up. I guess he found a better way of doing so himself; he broke up with me yesterday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31619) - you deserved it (2201)
On 05/21/2013 at 6:24am - love - by moikristine - Norway (Akershus)
Today, I got a new cat. It was fine for a couple of hours until it gave birth in my kitchen. The seller claims to have no idea that it was pregnant. Now I have to take care of 7 cats instead of 2. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29957) - you deserved it (4943)
On 05/20/2013 at 7:23pm - animals - by catcraze - United States (Colorado)
Today, my cockgoblin of an ex showed up at my house, begging me to take him back. This guy, with his friends' help, faked being kidnapped just so he could use the "trauma" to guilt me into sleeping with him after he "escaped". When he finally left, he yelled that I'm a selfish bitch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32540) - you deserved it (6752)
On 05/19/2013 at 2:02pm - love - by SariLone (woman) - India (Maharashtra)
Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time. I was really excited to introduce her to my parents, until we found my mother waving around a wooden sword, and my father trying to shove my sister into the dryer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37343) - you deserved it (3873)
On 05/18/2013 at 4:06pm - love - by Mr_poole (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time when her mother unexpectedly came home. In the rush to get dressed, we accidentally put on each other's shirts. Her mom noticed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36653) - you deserved it (14279)
On 05/18/2013 at 8:54am - intimacy - by lez probs - United States
Today, I went to a local Indian takeaway, since I'm from India originally, and none of my friends speak Hindi. I went up to the counter and placed my order in Hindi with the seemingly Indian owner. He gave me a weird look and said, "Huh? Speak English, ya rimjob." FML
I agree, your life sucks (36280) - you deserved it (9955)
On 05/17/2013 at 4:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, my brother tried to convince me to get a clitoris piercing at his recently opened piercing studio. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43330) - you deserved it (4099)
On 05/17/2013 at 12:40pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Varmlands Lan)
Today, I had to listen to yet another delusional fuckface at school bitch about how a girl he's interested in put him in the "friend-zone". I really couldn't focus on my work, so I tried to shut him up by saying he's an idiot, not least because she already has a boyfriend. I now have a black eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30253) - you deserved it (14052)
On 05/16/2013 at 4:31pm - health - by getafucktoysomewhereelsedude (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I walked in on my sister masturbating with my curling iron. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53157) - you deserved it (4299)
On 05/16/2013 at 3:49pm - intimacy - by need € for new iron (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)
Today, I went to visit my sister, who lives four hours away from me. I'd only just sat down on their couch when her husband told me I needed to leave so they could have sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37189) - you deserved it (2568)
On 05/16/2013 at 12:16pm - misc - by earplugsplease (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I got a tattoo of the snake and staff medical symbol on my wrist. Now everyone keeps asking what illness I have; they think it's a medical bracelet substitute. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17618) - you deserved it (31199)
On 05/16/2013 at 11:01am - misc - by Calaraphea (woman) - United Kingdom (Warrington)
Friday 24 May 2013
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