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Ms_ValS's FML badges
You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.
Back from a party
An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
Ms_ValS's favorite FMLs
Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML
by Bontempi / 07/19/2012 at 2:55pm / France / Miscellaneous
by dogmom / 07/16/2012 at 4:51pm / United States (Hawaii) / Love
Today, my wife, who is four months pregnant, burst into tears while thinking about the armchair in our living room that we never use. According to her, we're stopping it from living out its destiny as an armchair. FML
by FauteuilEver Alone / 07/05/2012 at 4:11am / France / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 06/24/2012 at 10:17am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, it was my boyfriend's grandfather's funeral and visitation. These things make me nervous, and not thinking, I made comments that included the words "killing", "dying", and "death". I'm a rubbish support system. FML
by Anonymous / 06/24/2012 at 7:38am / Italy / Miscellaneous
Today, I was so out of it from a lack of sleep and an accidental antihistamine overdose, I tried to offer my cat a cup of tea, and actually got pissed off when he didn't reply. It took me a good five minutes to understand what just happened. FML
by anonymous / 06/20/2012 at 10:09am / United Kingdom / Animals
Today, my grandmother threatened to kill herself with a banana. She then got angry with me when I didn't attempt to get the banana away from her. My mom punished me because I didn't take the situation seriously enough. FML
by DwarfFrog / 06/18/2012 at 7:38am / United States / Miscellaneous
by somebody / 06/08/2012 at 7:13pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
Today, after a spate of bad ones, I was in another job interview trying my hardest to give a good impression. After answering a few questions, I realized to my horror that while I was talking I was swiveling my chair from left to right like a nervous child. FML
by Swivel / 06/07/2012 at 8:17am / Singapore / Work
Today, I was on a rowing machine at the gym, listening to a podcast. Something funny was said, I laughed, lost my balance and fell off, with my feet still stuck in the footrests. Someone had to come and help me off. FML
by Anonymous / 05/30/2012 at 10:06am / Ireland (Cork) / Miscellaneous
by msassy / 05/18/2012 at 10:46pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health
by Anonymous / 05/14/2012 at 11:52pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, a friend who I hadn't seen in a while offered to give me a ride. I didn't really know how to give directions to my house, so when we had been driving for a while and it was getting awkward, I just pointed at a random house and pretended to live there. FML
by Anonymous / 05/14/2012 at 10:22am / Estonia (Harjumaa) / Transportation
Today, I was heading to the bathroom when I clearly saw a little boy walking into my bedroom. My wife and I live alone, and I screamed at the top of my lungs, thinking he was a ghost. Turns out my wife collected him from school for a friend, and I just didn't hear them arrive. FML
by rongo12 / 05/11/2012 at 5:41pm / Miscellaneous
- Today, I thought it would be sexy to cook dinner in lingerie. Today, my boyfriend thought it would… Today, I gave my husband an early Christmas present: Santa-themed lingerie. He got angry and called… Today, I was blessed with a girlfriend who loves giving blowjobs. And cursed with a girlfriend who…