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Ms_ValS's FML badges
Back from a party
An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
Ms_ValS's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 09/12/2012 at 12:05pm / United States (California) / Work
Today, I had just bought a new $60 basketball and decided to go try it out. Five minutes into playing, the ball decided to roll into the hands of a little girl, who then said, "Mine". I thought it was cute, until she skipped over to her parent's car and they drove off. FML
by Bitchjackedmyball / 09/12/2012 at 4:52am / United States (Hawaii) / Kids
Today, I came home from work to be given $1 by my mother. This normally would have been nice, had my mother not said, "I just sold that ugly old black and white picture frame you always leave lying around in your room." Which also would have been nice if that "frame" wasn't my Kindle. FML
by humorizer / 09/12/2012 at 4:44am / United States (Texas) / Money
Today, I was pulled over. The cop stated that he "couldn't see" me because I had "blended in with the dark car background", and that it looked like no one was driving. I was literally pulled over for being black. FML
by Anonymous / 09/12/2012 at 3:00am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I got rear-ended. An old woman got out and came over to my car window. I thought she was coming to apologize and trade insurance companies. Instead, she poured her soda on my head, ran back into her car, and drove away. FML
by Anonymous / 08/30/2012 at 10:47pm / United States (Connecticut) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 08/18/2012 at 7:02pm / United States / Love
by byegeorge / 08/17/2012 at 7:26am / United Kingdom (Hounslow) / Animals
by Anonymous / 08/14/2012 at 1:16am / United States (Nebraska) / Intimacy
Today, the air bag system in my car somehow malfunctioned, and the air bag inflated while I was driving, causing me to lose control and crash into a street light. I ended up with a badly bruised face because the air bag had already deflated by then. FML
by stupid_airbag / 08/13/2012 at 4:06am / Australia / Health
by kumbuck3t15 / 07/29/2012 at 4:20pm / Mexico (Baja California) / Miscellaneous
Today, at work in a nursing home, I had to kill imaginary dogs in the lunch room, because they were evil and trying to eat everyone. This started with just one person seeing them, to all 30 of them screaming and freaking out. I spent 45 minutes killing imaginary dogs. FML
by justlittleoldme / 07/25/2012 at 5:05pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Work
Today, I realized that whenever I use emoticons, I tend to make the same face in real life. My coworkers gleefully showed me various pictures with my tongue out, face scrunched up, and so on, while staring at my phone. They've already made their way around the office. FML
by dawn / 07/21/2012 at 12:24pm / Canada (Alberta) / Work
Today, I searched our neighborhood for our lost dog. After screaming at the top of our lungs, driving around in circles, and asking strangers, we realized we took him to the groomers this morning. FML
by anonymous / 07/19/2012 at 7:56pm / United States (California) / Animals
Today, I was having a really vivid dream in which I had to take a penalty kick to win the World Cup for the USA. I took the kick, but in reality, I smashed my foot against my bedroom wall and broke four of my toes. I also missed the kick in my dream. FML
by owwwww / 07/19/2012 at 4:05pm / United States (New Jersey) / Health
- Today, I truly understood that I was in Germany when, in my workplace, during our lunch break, one… Today, I’m teaching French in a university in India. One of the students asked me if Paris was the… Today, I’m in Thailand and I met a monk. The conversation was so deep and interesting that, without…