Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Ms_ValS

Online | Search for a member

Ms_ValS

4Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 23 July 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5405
  • Number of comments : 209
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Ms_ValS's page activity

Visits<b>winterforever97</b> - yesterday at 4:12pm<b>rhino514</b> - yesterday at 9:14am<b>sandman676</b> - yesterday at 6:29am<b>knightofdarkness</b> - yesterday at 6:11am<b>Artigedude65</b> - yesterday at 3:56am<b>shanekicksass</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 11:44pm<b>brookiesawr</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 2:35am<b>Canes2292</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 3:41pm<b>xDonkeyPuncherx</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 11:48pm<b>Xathrur_XIV</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 11:39pm<b>MrSmellyCheese</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 12:58pm<b>countryb_cth</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 12:53pm<b>Rose_916</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 8:47pm<b>43bubba34</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 1:14pm<b>Camlin93</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 7:50am<b>WallyQ</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 1:45pm<b>infantrysoldier</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 1:37pm<b>FutBol_Fan_30</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 1:35pm

Fucked!<b>martin8337</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 6:03am<b>WaltzingPhanthom</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 3:49pm<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 2:45pm<b>Shmatterhorn</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 8:07am

Ms_ValS's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

42

You see, sonny boy, moderating FMLs is a bit like running a marathon.

See all of Ms_ValS's badges

Ms_ValS's favorite FMLs

Today, while on a crowded public bus, a cute girl asked if she could sit next to me. Problem is, I didn't hear correctly and thought she asked if anyone was sitting next to me. I answered no, causing her to walk off angrily and earning me several disgusted stares from other passengers. FML

#20530703
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34645) - you deserved it (7216)

On 03/04/2013 at 9:23am - misc - by Anonymous - Taiwan (T'ai-pei)

Today, while mopping floors at the police station, an inmate pissed on the floor, demanded that I suck his dick, begged me for a glass of water and finally informed me that he would kill my family. I said nothing and he started weeping softly. I laughed, but slipped in his piss and broke my arm. FML

#20529783
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37946) - you deserved it (12714)

On 03/03/2013 at 5:21pm - work - by JimmyT (man) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, after a long work shift, I was so tired that I took a nap in my car to avoid driving half-asleep. When I awoke, there was a huge truck in front of me. I thought I'd fallen asleep while driving and was about to die. I only realized it was stationary after I pissed myself. FML

#20529430
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33648) - you deserved it (5645)

On 03/03/2013 at 12:37pm - misc - by FUCKKKS (man) - United States

Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend asked me, "Are you sure you're a guy?" I still have no idea what that was for. FML

#20529151
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46177) - you deserved it (5908)

On 03/03/2013 at 7:17am - intimacy - by Ihatemylife (man) - Slovenia (Bohinj)

Today, my brother called me, asking if I could help him do his taxes. Since he's a high school and college dropout, I thought all I had to do was a 1040EZ. No, last year he made more than twice what I earn, through self-employment. I have two Master's degrees and work at Burger King. FML

#20527434
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33265) - you deserved it (8118)

On 03/01/2013 at 9:35pm - misc - by tax-man - United States (South Carolina)

Today, after working out at the gym, I went to grab my bag, and realized that my phone was missing. Panicking, I reached into my pocket, pulled out my phone, and dialed my mom's number to tell her I'd lost it. It took me until the last ring to realize what I was doing. FML

#20526546
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11468) - you deserved it (38170)

On 03/01/2013 at 2:02am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, a wasp knocked me out, broke my glasses, and left a gash over my eyebrow. It did so by flying under my glasses while I was playing my guitar, causing me to reflexively bat at it with the hand that was still grasping the guitar neck. FML

#20526426
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25714) - you deserved it (6786) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/28/2013 at 8:55pm - health - by JimiHendrix (man) - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

Today, my elderly neighbor had asked me to take her to her early morning doctor's appointment. I arrived at her house at 7:30 as agreed, and she appeared to have forgotten who I was. She started lobbing eggs out of her window at me, telling me she wasn't interested in what I was selling. FML

#20525434
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29831) - you deserved it (2220)

On 02/28/2013 at 6:57am - misc - by she sure has an arm. - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my parents told me that I'm no longer allowed to come home from boarding school on weekends because it will confuse my cats and disrupt their lives. FML

#20519879
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42998) - you deserved it (2801)

On 02/24/2013 at 6:17am - animals - by incendiaaa (woman) - Australia

Today, I was holding the door open for a friend. She told me to wait a second because she had to finish a text. Nearly a minute passed before I asked why she wouldn't come inside to finish typing. We were at a Chinese restaurant. She thought the "No MSG" sign meant you couldn't text inside. FML

#20519764
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33393) - you deserved it (3629)

On 02/24/2013 at 2:53am - misc - by cls_x (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boss told me to go outside and take part in the company's stupid Harlem Shake video. When I declined, he threatened to fire me if I didn't take part. I ended up being the guy who had to furiously pelvic thrust before the music dropped. FML

#20518411
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36374) - you deserved it (6172)

On 02/23/2013 at 2:32am - work - by mypelvishurts - United States (California)

Today, I was making lunch, when my two-year-old ran up to me and handed me an empty bottle of baby powder. I soon realized I'd be spending the rest of my day cleaning the entire house. FML

Today, while waiting for my order at a restaurant, a woman walked up to me and slapped me. She looked at me for a moment and said "Sorry, I thought you were someone else." Ten minutes later, the same woman came back and slapped me again. FML

#20502782
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34596) - you deserved it (2556)

On 02/11/2013 at 8:42pm - misc - by Target - United States

Today, I called security at my school because I left my mittens in a classroom and it was locked. When the security officer showed up, he asked if the mittens I was looking for were the ones on my hands. I even had to take one of them off to call them. FML

#20493993
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9104) - you deserved it (47571)

On 02/05/2013 at 12:24am - misc - by swarm20 - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my girlfriend asked me if she looked fat in her new pair of jeans. Knowing I was probably about two seconds away from all hell breaking loose, I instinctively tried to save my game, before remembering I wasn't playing a video game. I really need to get a life. FML

#20491836
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11931) - you deserved it (30082)

On 02/03/2013 at 4:57pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia



FML's blog

  • Tania's illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! How are you all doing? This week has been quite eventful for some people. Uber has been causing taxi drivers here and there to get their knickers in a twist, notable over here in France, which caused…

Friday 26 June 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: