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Today, my immature dad said I am a girl not a woman, so my witty response was ''I have a period, I'm pretty sure that makes me a woman.'' My dad stole my phone and sent a text to everyone in my address book, quoting me. Including the guy I like. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33896) - you totally deserved it (8847)
On 07/27/2009 at 12:10am - misc - by bookworm94 (woman) - United States (Nevada)
Today, I moved into university residence, looking forward to finally being able to come out of the closet. I started chatting with the hot guy moving in next door to me. He said I was cool, and he was glad because he was afraid he'd be living next to a gay guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34713) - you totally deserved it (6008)
On 07/23/2009 at 6:09pm - love - by simon (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I came home to find my dad crying. Turns out my parents are getting divorced because my mom had an affair. With a teacher at my school. A female teacher. And the school isn't going to fire her because she's a good teacher. Every day at school I'm going to have to see her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50984) - you totally deserved it (1575)
On 07/22/2009 at 6:43am - love - by mylifereallyISeffed (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I had a job interview with an environmentalist organization. I got the job, my FIRST job, a great first job doing something I am passionate about. An hour after the interview was over, they called me back and asked if I was 18. I'm 17, and unemployed again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27539) - you totally deserved it (4963)
On 07/22/2009 at 4:32am - work - by taylrrina (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I had a fight with my little sister. Later she apologized and made me dinner to make up for it. I thought it was pretty good until I found out that instead of using Parmesan cheese in the recipe, she used foot shavings from her Ped Egg. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42506) - you totally deserved it (3673)
On 07/22/2009 at 12:12am - misc - by vomitingnow (man) - United States
Today, I babysat the most annoying and obnoxious kids for almost eight hours, when the parents assured me that they would only be gone about three or so hours. After constant calling and worrying, they finally showed up at 11:30, completely drunk. The mother paid me with three dollars and a banana. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41532) - you totally deserved it (1586)
On 07/21/2009 at 6:17pm - kids - by GabsAlot829 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my girlfriend of 2 years told me she was pregnant. I started freaking out, so she put her arm around me and said, "Don't worry, it's not yours". FML
I agree, your life sucks (46011) - you totally deserved it (2761)
On 07/21/2009 at 12:10pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, my wife is divorcing me because she wants to party more with her friends alone. One year ago, I followed her to Norway, where her family lives. I left my friends, family and job opportunities (which were very good) in order to live with her. Now I am shoveling shit on a horse farm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41033) - you totally deserved it (7004)
On 07/21/2009 at 8:03am - love - by person_r (man) - Norway (Vestfold)
Today, my boyfriend and I were on the phone. He started talking dirty, and saying how horny he was, etc. So I decided to play along and said "I want you to picture me naked, baby." All of a sudden I heard a huge sigh. He responded, "Ew, that just killed it." FML
I agree, your life sucks (46053) - you totally deserved it (7168)
On 07/21/2009 at 6:42am - intimacy - by picturemenakedbaby (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, whilst cleaning out his desk, my dad "accidentally" threw away my summer homework. That's 100 pages, over a duration of 2 months. School starts in 3 days. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36884) - you totally deserved it (3525)
On 07/21/2009 at 3:34am - work - by homework (man) - India (Delhi)
Today, I woke up screaming. Why? Well, I was complaining to my dad yesterday about how I always hit the snooze button and just roll over when my alarm goes off, and how that results in me being late for morning classes. My dad thought he'd help out by placing a mousetrap on the snooze button. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29081) - you totally deserved it (16450)
On 07/21/2009 at 1:38am - misc - by emperor (man) - Bangladesh (Dhaka)
Today, I was on a 3 hour plane ride. An elderly man was sitting next to me and before the flight took off, he fell asleep on my shoulder. I decided to be kind and let him sleep. When the flight was about to land, I tried to wake him up. He wouldn't. He died on my shoulder. FML
I agree, your life sucks (67549) - you totally deserved it (2395)
On 07/19/2009 at 12:17am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, while talking on the phone with my long distance boyfriend, he let me know that he was getting married in August to "some girl" for his papers. After I objected he told me, "well you can marry me if you want." I'm not sure if I just got dumped or proposed to. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32619) - you totally deserved it (3018)
On 07/16/2009 at 2:46pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my five-year-old came home from summer camp crying because her friends and counselors had all laughed at her when she couldn't identify colors correctly during a game. My husband then confessed that he had taught her colors wrong because he thought it would be funny. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55846) - you totally deserved it (4104)
On 07/16/2009 at 1:50pm - kids - by KWidget (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my parents are freaking at me because I just got my report and I failed my first year of college. They told me they have never been more disappointed in me. I have to tell them that I'm also pregnant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12823) - you totally deserved it (53449)
On 07/16/2009 at 12:25pm - misc - by failure - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)
