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50 favourites
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Today, my friends and I went to the strip club for my birthday. I now know how my sister is paying for her new car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46053) - you deserved it (5592)
On 07/23/2011 at 8:09pm - misc - by assante2010 - United States (Maine)
Today, I learned that when you piss on a hornets' nest from a window, the hornets will go after the source of the stream. It can also cause you to fall through your friend's second story window. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7396) - you deserved it (49888)
On 07/19/2011 at 12:41pm - misc - by freakfreak12345 - United States (Maine)
Today, my six year old told me I have a big nose. When I told her that she hurt my feelings, she laughed and said "Don't be silly mummy, ugly people don't have feelings." FML
I agree, your life sucks (92472) - you deserved it (10801)
On 12/14/2010 at 3:21am - kids - by uglywoman - Australia (Queensland)
Today, without even trying, I convinced my 17-year-old daughter that blueberries are just peas holding their breath. I have raised a complete airhead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30299) - you deserved it (49858)
On 12/11/2010 at 9:44am - kids - by parentfail (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I told my parents that I wanted a little brother. My dad apparently thought it would be funny to tell me that my mom just swallowed my little brother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47489) - you deserved it (6507)
On 11/13/2010 at 2:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I was sitting on a bench enjoying the sun, when a guy came and sat next to me. Next thing I know, he farts loudly, then proudly looks my way. I stared back in shock. He says to me, "Yeah, that just happened," and walks off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49247) - you deserved it (9964)
On 11/03/2010 at 3:27am - misc - by flying13 (woman) - United States (Nevada)
Today, at Burger King, I had to go to the bathroom. Two ketchup packets were under the seat and exploded on my legs and pants when I sat down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24000) - you deserved it (4303)
On 10/23/2010 at 4:03am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (28959) - you deserved it (16286)
On 10/13/2010 at 9:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Asturias)
Today, I found out that whilst I was asleep last night, my boyfriend was playing on his XBox. I also found out that whenever he unlocked a new level, achievement or just generally beat someone's ass, he would celebrate by pulling out one of his pubes and putting it in my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (88746) - you deserved it (9150)
On 02/01/2010 at 5:23am - misc - by doesnttastegood (woman) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)
Today, my boyfriend humped me to the tune of the Imperial March from Star Wars. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13654) - you deserved it (4491)
On 01/17/2010 at 1:13pm - intimacy - by ChubbyTubby (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I went out with my family and boyfriend for dinner. We were all having a good time, and suddenly at the end of dinner he decides to kneel down on one knee, take out an engagement ring, and say "I choose you, Pikachu," with a straight face. He was serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (98171) - you deserved it (23537)
On 09/04/2009 at 10:19pm - love - by mandy (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me by sending me a Bumper Sticker on Facebook that said "Bitch, let's get married". FML
I agree, your life sucks (47974) - you deserved it (5688)
On 08/30/2009 at 12:40pm - love - by mylifesucks (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I saw a video of me last night, hammered, climbing my wardrobe screaming "I WANT TO GO TO NARNIA" naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40254) - you deserved it (123735)
On 08/20/2009 at 10:39am - misc - by ShiriSarah (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I found out that not only has my father been cheating on my mother with another woman, but they have a child together with the same name as me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (82585) - you deserved it (2348)
On 08/09/2009 at 5:26am - misc - by redbluegreen (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, while I was walking downtown a homeless person asked me for a dollar. I thought it would be funny to wave the dollar in his face and taunt him. I guess he thought it would be funny to stab me in the leg with a pencil. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15004) - you deserved it (362440)
On 08/06/2009 at 9:35am - misc - by who_could_it_be - Canada (Ontario)
Monday 17 June 2013
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