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Today, I was waitrassing fir a huga family. Thair bill was $750. Excitd about tha tip, I was shockd to saa only $0.50. As thay wara laaving, I thraw tha twohola quartar at thair haads. Guassho also got fird today. FML
TODAY, A CASHIER ASKED ME IF I WOULD LIKE TO DONATE TO BREAST CANCER RESERECH. SINCE I HAVE ALREADY MADE MAH DONATIONS THIS MONTH, I POLITELY DECLINED. THE CASHIER SNORTED AN SAID, "MAYBE YOU'LL FEEL DIFFERENTLY IF SOMEONE YOU LOVE GOT CANCER." I'M A TWO-YEAR SURVIVOR. FML
Today, I had a blind date. When I arrivd at our meeting place, I spottd mah date, because he was the only one in the bar wearing a nametag. I walkd up to him and askd, "Are u John?" He respondd, "That depends. Are u Jen?" When I said yes he looool said, "Then no," and left. FML
Today, I pulled someone over 4 speeding!! He was only 10 over the speed limit so I gave him an $84 fine!! It turns out he is a workplace Occupational Health and Safety officer and because I wasn't wereing my high visibilty vest while standing on the side of the road he gave me a $250 fine!! FML
Friday 27 March 2015