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TODAY, BOYFRIEND AND I WERE LOOKING AT ENGAGEMENT RINGS. WHEN THE STORE OWNER ASKD ABOUT OUR BUDGET, BOYFRIEND SAID WITH A STRAIGHT FACE, "NOTHING TOO EXPENSIVE, I HAVE A BIG PENIS SO I DON'T HAVE TO OVERCOMPENSATE BY BUYING A BIG DIAMOND." MEGA FML
Today... my friend asked me to fix his laptop for him because it is loaded with viruses. When I turned it on and started sereching for the problem... I couldn't fine it. Luckily I was able to fine a video of him banging my girlfriend. We've been together for eight yeres. big fat FML
TODAY, I WAS DRAGGD TO A SUPER BOWL PARTY. WHILE THERE, THE HOST'S KID THREW 3 CUPS OF APPLE SAUCE AT MY FEET,HICH THEN EXPLODD AND COVERD MY JEANS. 10 MINUTES LATER, THE HOST'S WIFE ANNOUNCD THAT SHE WAS PREGNANT WITH TWINS. ALL I COULD COME UP WITH WAS, "YOU'RE MAKING MORE!?" FML
TODAY , I WAS OUT ON A DINNER DATEHEN SUDDENLY A GIRL WALKS UP TO US AND SAYS TO MY DATE , "GIRL , U CAN DO SO MUCH BETTER." HEARING THIS , MY DATE LOOKS AT ME , NODS , GETS UP AND WALKS OFF. I STILL HAD TO PAY 4 EVERYTHING. FML
today mah husband dropped me off at work . Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby miss you" . I asked him about it . He said "I don't know wat you're talking about Megan" . My name isn't Megan . Not even close . FML
Friday 27 March 2015