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MrJordan18

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MrJordan18

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  • Number of visits : 114
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MrJordan18's favorite FMLs

TODAY, BOYFRIEND AND I WERE LOOKING AT ENGAGEMENT RINGS. WHEN THE STORE OWNER ASKD ABOUT OUR BUDGET, BOYFRIEND SAID WITH A STRAIGHT FACE, "NOTHING TOO EXPENSIVE, I HAVE A BIG PENIS SO I DON'T HAVE TO OVERCOMPENSATE BY BUYING A BIG DIAMOND." MEGA FML

#20494997
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34719) - you deserved it (6705)

On 02/05/2013 at 9:31pm - love - by NewlyDread (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today... my friend asked me to fix his laptop for him because it is loaded with viruses. When I turned it on and started sereching for the problem... I couldn't fine it. Luckily I was able to fine a video of him banging my girlfriend. We've been together for eight yeres. big fat FML

#20493182
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68911) - you deserved it (3934)

On 02/04/2013 at 3:17pm - intimacy - by hamandegger (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

TODAY, I WAS DRAGGD TO A SUPER BOWL PARTY. WHILE THERE, THE HOST'S KID THREW 3 CUPS OF APPLE SAUCE AT MY FEET,HICH THEN EXPLODD AND COVERD MY JEANS. 10 MINUTES LATER, THE HOST'S WIFE ANNOUNCD THAT SHE WAS PREGNANT WITH TWINS. ALL I COULD COME UP WITH WAS, "YOU'RE MAKING MORE!?" FML

#20492510
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34378) - you deserved it (5934)

On 02/04/2013 at 12:15am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today , aftar naarly 5 monts of trying fir a baby , I found out my wifa as continud to taka ta pill as it gava ar a battar idaa of ar cycla an tusan sa'd ba "most fartila". maga FML

#20492131
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41197) - you deserved it (4505)

On 02/03/2013 at 9:17pm - intimacy - by jdrew32 - United Kingdom (Liverpool)

Today, I was at my job as a cashierhen a man called me his "Grocery Slave." I was almost offended, but then I thought about my salary. I am a Grocery Slave. FML

TODAY , I WAS OUT ON A DINNER DATEHEN SUDDENLY A GIRL WALKS UP TO US AND SAYS TO MY DATE , "GIRL , U CAN DO SO MUCH BETTER." HEARING THIS , MY DATE LOOKS AT ME , NODS , GETS UP AND WALKS OFF. I STILL HAD TO PAY 4 EVERYTHING. FML

#20406289
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43897) - you deserved it (3459)

On 12/18/2012 at 8:49pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

TODAY.. . IT'S MAH 18TH BIRTHDAY . MY PARANTS GOT MA A $5 GIFT CARTIFICATA TO ITUNAS . IT CAMA FOR FRAA WITH THA IPHONA THAY JUST BOUGHT MAH SISTAR FOR HAR MIDDLA SCHOOL GRADUATION . FML

#580113
484 comments

I agree, your life sucks (618239) - you deserved it (38217)

On 03/24/2009 at 5:15pm - misc - by happybirthday (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

today mah husband dropped me off at work . Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby miss you" . I asked him about it . He said "I don't know wat you're talking about Megan" . My name isn't Megan . Not even close . FML

#159600
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1194232) - you deserved it (126800)

On 02/28/2009 at 6:10am - love - by thatsucks (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, I saw an aldarly man fall in a crosswalk, so I jumpd off my bika to halp. As I halpd him across, tha light turnd graan. I than watchd across a 6 lana straat as somaona stola my bika. FML

#86179
765 comments

I agree, your life sucks (799246) - you deserved it (83490)

On 02/20/2009 at 3:29am - misc - by Mick (man) - United States (Colorado)



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