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MrJentipede

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MrJentipede

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 7 June 1985 (29 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 61072
  • Number of comments : 254
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About MrJentipede : I does what I does.

MrJentipede's page activity

Visits<b>jaydoug92</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 2:53am<b>sofaqueen_</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 12:26am<b>Dem0n520</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 5:48pm<b>aeore</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 7:01am<b>silon5</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 11:57am<b>jackxuanliu</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 12:42am<b>mt631</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 7:30pm<b>FML_Elle</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 4:02pm<b>WubStep_</b> - the 04/25/2014 at 4:21pm<b>pinkydink10</b> - the 04/17/2014 at 10:54pm<b>dmd316</b> - the 04/11/2014 at 4:36pm<b>NWO666</b> - the 04/03/2014 at 10:47pm<b>yesIAmAnAsshole</b> - the 03/29/2014 at 10:02am<b>Nevracceptdefeat</b> - the 03/22/2014 at 11:58pm<b>Phioxse</b> - the 03/14/2014 at 11:17am<b>girlrome</b> - the 01/27/2014 at 8:36pm<b>CeQueJeFerais</b> - the 12/21/2013 at 2:20pm<b>Thursdayxo</b> - the 10/26/2013 at 8:33pm

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MrJentipede's favorite FMLs

Today, I saw a girl walking to class by herself. I thought she was weird for not having any friends to walk with. Thats when I realized I was eating lunch by myself. In my car. FML

#6583766
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9778) - you deserved it (36589)

On 12/03/2009 at 1:13pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to Walmart with my girlfriend. We bought the usual, food, Advil and condoms. While I waited in line, she went to grab everything. When she came back, I looked in the cart and saw no condoms. I asked her why she didn't get any. She replied "They ran out of smalls." Everyone laughed. FML

#6553131
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45097) - you deserved it (7613)

On 12/01/2009 at 4:11pm - misc - by xXxJoe16xXx - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went on a blind date. It was going well until I brought up my views on politics. He then told me to shut up because women were incapable of intelligent thought. Then he asked if I wanted to go back to his place and have sex. FML

Today, I realised I hate my cat. She has 'stress incontinence', which involved her peeing all over my house. Last week I found out she'd been peeing on my stove, and I can't clean off the smell. Now whenever I try to cook some food, the kitchen is flooded with the scent of burning cat pee. FML

Today, I received the newspaper from my hometown. My ex-husband's wedding announcement and picture were on the front page. His new wife has the same first name as me. All my Facebook friends from high school commented on how much weight I've lost and how good I look in my wedding photo. FML

#6021745
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37553) - you deserved it (3045)

On 10/27/2009 at 9:32am - misc - by WasFeelingGood (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was on cloud nine when the beautiful waitress I frequently ordered takeaways from told me she didn't need to take my name as she remembers me from before. When I got my food I saw the sales slip. On it she had written, "Cheeseburger - Fries - Coke - nerdy guy with bad haircut." FML

#5850117
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30610) - you deserved it (5059)

On 10/16/2009 at 11:08am - love - by nerd (man) - Singapore

Today, I asked my dad to pick me up from school, he said he couldn't. Why? he was busy playing world of warcraft for the night. I got to walk the 3 hours home while my 49 year old dad played computer games. FML

#5263427
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42887) - you deserved it (4205)

On 09/14/2009 at 10:56pm - misc - by stupid (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I went para sailing for the first time ever. My friends thought it would be funny to pull down my trunks right before my feet left the boat. I dangled there in the air for the whole resort to see. And I lost my shorts in the ocean. FML

#5039169
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39878) - you deserved it (2953)

On 09/04/2009 at 10:50am - misc - by no_hullabalo (man) - Taiwan (T'ai-wan)

Today, my boyfriend and his parents met my family. My grandpa thought it would be funny to walk around with a realistic gun and make references about being in the mafia. The rest of my family went along with it. FML

#4782445
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37508) - you deserved it (4823)

On 08/24/2009 at 11:35am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had a check-up with my dermatologist. When I took off my pants, she noticed a small mark on my penis and was concerned. I had to inform her that it was not in fact a mole, but a bruise from getting it stuck in a Snapple bottle two days prior to the check-up. FML

#3686221
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9405) - you deserved it (71737)

On 07/12/2009 at 3:07am - health - by Best-stuf-on-Earth (man) - United States (California)

Today, I noticed a string was following behind our family cat. After close inspection I realized it was a plastic kite string he partially digested. I had to pull the other three feet of plastic kite tail from his rectum. He purred the entire time. FML

#3456534
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68189) - you deserved it (4972)

On 07/03/2009 at 3:06pm - animals - by RachelDC (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I went to the gym to lift weights because my arm muscles are pathetic. In order to use a machine, I needed to pull out a knob to adjust the seat setting. After an embarassing struggle, a worker came over and helped me. Turns out I'm not even strong enough to adjust the seat settings. FML

#3440456
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34781) - you deserved it (6902)

On 07/02/2009 at 11:06pm - misc - by Heethersays (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I rode my bike to work. While biking on the road, I gave a hand signal for turning left. A car passing the opposite way veered towards me and attempted to give me a high five. I now have cuts all over my body and my bike is in two pieces. FML

#2925389
299 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80711) - you deserved it (5542)

On 06/15/2009 at 10:13pm - misc - by Shaun (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I meant to express to my friends that I was enamored with a young saleswoman I had encountered at a store. I wanted to tell them that she was quite petite and that I am, in general, attracted to petite women. Instead I said "You know? I like little girls." FML

#2556869
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18148) - you deserved it (55647)

On 06/03/2009 at 1:23am - love - by boinger (man) - United States (California)



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