MrJentipede

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MrJentipede

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 7 June 1985 (31 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 62050
  • Number of comments : 254
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About MrJentipede : I does what I does.

MrJentipede's page activity

Visits<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/12/2016 at 7:32pm<b>yellow33</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 9:30pm<b>IAm123</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 2:28pm<b>fringeisawesome</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 12:20pm<b>cwowm</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 6:49pm<b>Whitecocoa432</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 11:21pm<b>kaiboi702</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 12:30pm<b>sh4rpestl1ves</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 5:54am<b>jardy</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 2:47pm<b>mattzawesome</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 10:35pm<b>me127</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 1:21am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 1:39pm<b>jadeluv</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 1:12am<b>valabruquah</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 3:46pm<b>jaydoug92</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 2:53am<b>sofaqueen_</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 12:26am<b>Dem0n520</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 5:48pm<b>aeore</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 7:01am

Fucked!<b>kaiboi702</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 6:30pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 7:43pm

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MrJentipede's favorite FMLs

Today, I was in the bathroom, when someone came up behind me. Instead of waiting for a urinal to free up, he wedged his way in between me and another guy, and promptly began peeing in my urinal, crossing streams in the process. FML

by devinbyrne / 03/05/2011 at 3:26pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was sitting in a parked car. A woman was having difficulties maneuvering out. She honked the horn repeatedly for me to move, then looked me in the eye and called me a "f**king bitch", before driving off. I was in the passenger seat. FML

by agstadra / 12/08/2010 at 10:24am / Canada / Transportation

Today, I went to buy some spray paint for a project. I've never used a spray can before, so I decided to try it on paper provided. Unfortunately I didn't hold the can the right way and ended up with black, permanent, paint all over my face in the middle of a store. FML

by muffincakess / 01/20/2010 at 7:55pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I was on the computer in the library on campus. I was facebook stalking this really cute girl that I often see on campus. As I'm looking at her profile pictures, I turn around and the girl is standing right behind me. She gave me a disgusted look and walked off. FML

by Anonymous / 01/14/2010 at 12:10am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I dressed up, went over to my boyfriend and told him he could do anything he wanted. He said nothing and walked outside. I figured he'd come back in shortly, but when I looked out the window a few minutes later, he was building a snowman. FML

by dollybabe / 01/09/2010 at 4:20pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Love

Today, I was on a long-haul plane journey home from my holiday. After 5 hours, I decided to stretch my arms whilst watching a movie. Little did I know that a little girl was approaching, running down the aisle as my arm stretched out. I accidentally clothes-lined a little 9 year old girl. FML

by James4929 / 01/07/2010 at 7:25pm / United Kingdom / Transportation

Today, my friend whacked me on the family jewels while I was washing my hands in the college bathroom. While I lay writhing in pain on the floor, a guy at the urinal turned around towards me to see what was wrong. He was still peeing. FML

by TJ / 01/07/2010 at 11:50am / India (Maharashtra) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom held an intervention for me. Yesterday, I told her I'd tried pot once. Seven years ago. FML

by EgoMoose / 12/28/2009 at 12:02am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I got a new laptop for Christmas. The picture on the box showed a woman balancing it on one finger to show how light it was, so I tried it myself. I dropped my laptop, breaking the hard drive and putting a massive crack down the screen. FML

by Anonymous / 12/26/2009 at 7:43am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, at work a female co-worker was struggling with a stack of boxes in her hands. Her pantyhose was falling down and she asked me to help her. So I pulled up her pantyhose. When I looked up, she had a horrified look on her face. She was asking me to help her hold the boxes. FML

by harrassment101 / 12/25/2009 at 3:10am / United States (California) / Work

Today, I spent five minutes trying to kill a spider with my mind. FML

by AnRom / 12/17/2009 at 4:58am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, my mother thought it would be okay to take my camera and erase all of my pictures that included my graduation, party, and my sisters wedding. Her excuse? "We need more room for Katie's birthday." Katie is our pet cat. FML

by Kelsie / 12/12/2009 at 10:41am / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, I left work to find a note on my windshield that read, "I think you're cute," with a phone number written down as well. I got super excited and immediately dialed. The phone was answered by a woman laughing hysterically. It was my Mom. FML

by MarkTheShark / 12/12/2009 at 12:23am / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, my boyfriend of 6 months called me. He said his mom was making him choose between having a dog or having a girlfriend. I asked him which one he picked. He was quiet, I heard barking in the background. FML

by WoofWoof / 12/07/2009 at 1:20pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, I went into my room and found a plastic snake on the floor. I yelled out to my sister, "Good one, Ellen!" I picked up the snake to take it to show her. The snake started moving in my hands and bit me. I had to go to the hospital. FML

by olive_costume / 12/04/2009 at 8:16pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous