Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

MrJentipede

Search for a member

MrJentipede

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 7 June 1985 (29 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 60989
  • Number of comments : 254
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About MrJentipede : I does what I does.

MrJentipede's page activity

Visits<b>sofaqueen_</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 12:26am<b>Dem0n520</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 5:48pm<b>aeore</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 7:01am<b>silon5</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 11:57am<b>jackxuanliu</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 12:42am<b>mt631</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 7:30pm<b>FML_Elle</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 4:02pm<b>WubStep_</b> - the 04/25/2014 at 4:21pm<b>pinkydink10</b> - the 04/17/2014 at 10:54pm<b>dmd316</b> - the 04/11/2014 at 4:36pm<b>NWO666</b> - the 04/03/2014 at 10:47pm<b>yesIAmAnAsshole</b> - the 03/29/2014 at 10:02am<b>Nevracceptdefeat</b> - the 03/22/2014 at 11:58pm<b>Phioxse</b> - the 03/14/2014 at 11:17am<b>girlrome</b> - the 01/27/2014 at 8:36pm<b>CeQueJeFerais</b> - the 12/21/2013 at 2:20pm<b>Thursdayxo</b> - the 10/26/2013 at 8:33pm<b>PickledSweets</b> - the 09/13/2013 at 1:57pm

MrJentipede's FML badges

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

MrJentipede's favorite FMLs

Today, I was in the bathroom, when someone came up behind me. Instead of waiting for a urinal to free up, he wedged his way in between me and another guy, and promptly began peeing in my urinal, crossing streams in the process. FML

#15207309
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40661) - you deserved it (3316)

On 03/05/2011 at 3:26pm - misc - by devinbyrne - United States (Texas)

Today, I was sitting in a parked car. A woman was having difficulties maneuvering out. She honked the horn repeatedly for me to move, then looked me in the eye and called me a "f**king bitch", before driving off. I was in the passenger seat. FML

#14130272
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28178) - you deserved it (2730)

On 12/08/2010 at 10:24am - misc - by agstadra (woman) - Canada

Today, I went to buy some spray paint for a project. I've never used a spray can before, so I decided to try it on paper provided. Unfortunately I didn't hold the can the right way and ended up with black, permanent, paint all over my face in the middle of a store. FML

#7461664
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7849) - you deserved it (31439)

On 01/20/2010 at 7:55pm - misc - by muffincakess - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was on the computer in the library on campus. I was facebook stalking this really cute girl that I often see on campus. As I'm looking at her profile pictures, I turn around and the girl is standing right behind me. She gave me a disgusted look and walked off. FML

#7331579
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7668) - you deserved it (38070)

On 01/14/2010 at 12:10am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I dressed up, went over to my boyfriend and told him he could do anything he wanted. He said nothing and walked outside. I figured he'd come back in shortly, but when I looked out the window a few minutes later, he was building a snowman. FML

#7239048
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28030) - you deserved it (10210)

On 01/09/2010 at 4:20pm - love - by dollybabe (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I was on a long-haul plane journey home from my holiday. After 5 hours, I decided to stretch my arms whilst watching a movie. Little did I know that a little girl was approaching, running down the aisle as my arm stretched out. I accidentally clothes-lined a little 9 year old girl. FML

#7203649
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26478) - you deserved it (3506)

On 01/07/2010 at 7:25pm - misc - by James4929 (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my friend whacked me on the family jewels while I was washing my hands in the college bathroom. While I lay writhing in pain on the floor, a guy at the urinal turned around towards me to see what was wrong. He was still peeing. FML

#7198019
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32341) - you deserved it (2542)

On 01/07/2010 at 11:50am - misc - by TJ (man) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, my mom held an intervention for me. Yesterday, I told her I'd tried pot once. Seven years ago. FML

#6983853
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28571) - you deserved it (5173)

On 12/28/2009 at 12:02am - health - by EgoMoose (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got a new laptop for Christmas. The picture on the box showed a woman balancing it on one finger to show how light it was, so I tried it myself. I dropped my laptop, breaking the hard drive and putting a massive crack down the screen. FML

#6953909
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6374) - you deserved it (89126)

On 12/26/2009 at 7:43am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, at work a female co-worker was struggling with a stack of boxes in her hands. Her pantyhose was falling down and she asked me to help her. So I pulled up her pantyhose. When I looked up, she had a horrified look on her face. She was asking me to help her hold the boxes. FML

#6934352
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7411) - you deserved it (48636)

On 12/25/2009 at 3:10am - work - by harrassment101 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I spent five minutes trying to kill a spider with my mind. FML

#6789867
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8454) - you deserved it (38538)

On 12/17/2009 at 4:58am - animals - by AnRom (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mother thought it would be okay to take my camera and erase all of my pictures that included my graduation, party, and my sisters wedding. Her excuse? "We need more room for Katie's birthday." Katie is our pet cat. FML

#6721090
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32487) - you deserved it (3568)

On 12/12/2009 at 10:41am - animals - by Kelsie (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I left work to find a note on my windshield that read, "I think you're cute," with a phone number written down as well. I got super excited and immediately dialed. The phone was answered by a woman laughing hysterically. It was my Mom. FML

#6716817
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34460) - you deserved it (6034)

On 12/12/2009 at 12:23am - love - by MarkTheShark (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend of 6 months called me. He said his mom was making him choose between having a dog or having a girlfriend. I asked him which one he picked. He was quiet, I heard barking in the background. FML

#6650131
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39394) - you deserved it (4316)

On 12/07/2009 at 1:20pm - love - by WoofWoof (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went into my room and found a plastic snake on the floor. I yelled out to my sister, "Good one, Ellen!" I picked up the snake to take it to show her. The snake started moving in my hands and bit me. I had to go to the hospital. FML

#6605236
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30677) - you deserved it (7176)

On 12/04/2009 at 8:16pm - misc - by olive_costume (man) - Australia (New South Wales)



FML's blog

  • Jim Trim's Illustrated FML
  • Action stations! I'm back from my holiday, I've got some sort of weirdly uneven tan and I already want to go back to the beach to bum about and finish off my colouring book. But I can't. I'm still…

Friday 29 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: