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MorlekEngel

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MorlekEngel

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 12 October 1988 (26 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3263
  • Number of comments : 44
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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MorlekEngel's page activity

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MorlekEngel's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

MorlekEngel's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a restraining order put on me. I have apparently been following a woman's daughter home after she leaves track practice and parking my car outside their home. I'm a math teacher at the school and leave everyday at 4:30. I have lived across the street for the past six years. FML

#5505995
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51496) - you deserved it (2313)

On 09/27/2009 at 1:24pm - misc - by stalker (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was going shopping with a friend. I got up to get off the train and landed on my ass. Not only had I walked into the metal bar, I'd broken my $800 glasses, and the train doors had closed, with my friend on the other side of the doors. FML

#5444000
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28733) - you deserved it (9975)

On 09/24/2009 at 6:06am - misc - by b. - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I pulled someone over for speeding. He was only 10 over the speed limit so I gave him an $84 fine. It turns out he is a workplace Occupational Health and Safety officer and because I wasn't wearing my high visibilty vest while standing on the side of the road he gave me a $250 fine. FML

#5309221
378 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23553) - you deserved it (80107)

On 09/17/2009 at 6:57am - work - by auscop (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, after spending 20 minutes every day working on my abs for the last month and feeling pretty good about how they were looking, I received the first comment about them. A girl poked them and said 'squish'. FML

Today, I was driving in the left lane and was suddenly hit by a woman who was in the right lane. I ran off the road, taking out a fence and totaling my car. When the cops asked the woman what happened she responded, "My tom-tom told me to turn left." FML

#5167647
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51484) - you deserved it (2364)

On 09/10/2009 at 12:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, I spent all day at the hospital with my grandma for some tests. When I drove her back home she decided to thank me with $50. Knowing she is unemployed, I told her I couldn't take a whole $50. She replied with "Ungrateful, just like your mother", then took the money and left. FML

#5136505
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34560) - you deserved it (3995)

On 09/08/2009 at 9:22pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I was riding on the Moscow metro. My friend and I were joking around in English about taking a nap on the nerdy business man next to me. As we laughed and made comments about him, which we thought he couldn't understand, he asked, "First time in Moscow?" FML

#5126922
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5922) - you deserved it (77568)

On 09/08/2009 at 1:30pm - misc - by HotToTrotskyite (woman) - Russian Federation (Moscow City)

Today, I realized the person I had been habitually stealing bag lunches from at work made me a canned dog food sandwich. FML

#4976961
431 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18643) - you deserved it (371808)

On 09/01/2009 at 2:05pm - work - by Hairball (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I rented a drill to a straight-up valley girl, with the speech affect, Von Dutch patrol cap and all. I tried to disabuse of her of the idea that aluminum is a form of steel. Apparently, that constitutes being a smartass, so she threw her change at me. FML

#4943867
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25025) - you deserved it (7755)

On 08/31/2009 at 12:06am - work - by Mack (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML

#4882481
346 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65697) - you deserved it (16602)

On 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by Michelle (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML

#4882481
346 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65697) - you deserved it (16602)

On 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by Michelle (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, on the train on the way to my mother's house, I was playing Mariokart with my son. He got a 'bomb' item, and yelled quite loudly, "I have a bomb!". Panic ensued. We got thrown off the train at the next stop. FML

#4874486
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47356) - you deserved it (6358)

On 08/28/2009 at 12:41am - kids - by mariokarter (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I lazily answered the door in my pajamas. It was my elderly neighbor asking to borrow a can opener. Despite the strange and unwarranted scowl she was giving me I obliged. It wasn't until after she had left that I notice my penis was completely sticking out through the flap in my pants. FML

#4861565
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41559) - you deserved it (19510)

On 08/27/2009 at 3:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I accidentally ran my thumb down the cheese grater while preparing lunch beside my wife. I instantly jerked my hand away from the grater just in time run my forearm across the knife she was using. I now have 20 stitches and 5 staples in my arm, no lunch, and a puking wife. FML

#4837442
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50404) - you deserved it (4363)

On 08/26/2009 at 2:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, my 5-year-old daughter saw a pad commercial. She asked me what they were, but I didn't think she was old enough to hear it. I just told her that they're like diapers for mommies. Now she won't stop telling people that mommy wears diapers. FML

#4833431
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14537) - you deserved it (42206)

On 08/26/2009 at 10:17am - misc - by diapermommy (woman) - United States



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