About Moota : I like:
Lions
Navy Blue
Elephants
Bright Orange
I dislike:
Dark Yellow
Mean people
Debby Downers
Negative Nancys
Party Poopers
Your kneecaps
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Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, my neighbours' whiny emo of a daughter got dumped by her boyfriend. In her infinite wisdom, she's chosen to cope by playing on her recorder the worst rendition of "My Heart Will Go On" that I've ever heard. It's been going on all day. Now I know why he dumped this idiot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44847) - you deserved it (7494)
On 05/04/2013 at 5:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Liverpool)
Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML
I agree, your life sucks (57806) - you deserved it (8171)
On 05/04/2013 at 8:51am - kids - by wtfmama (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I smoked weed with friends. Stoned, I put on my sister's high heels instead of my Vans and I walked to 7-11. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16573) - you deserved it (65432)
On 04/27/2013 at 2:33am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my boyfriend and I went to the store to buy oranges and pick up a pack of condoms. When we were at the checkout counter, my boyfriend happily told the cashier, "The only way we can have sex is if we squeeze oranges all over our bodies." FML
I agree, your life sucks (40109) - you deserved it (7903)
On 04/10/2013 at 12:28am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I was walking down the street in the dark, and the woman in front of me kept looking back nervously. I jokingly assured her that I wasn't a mugger. She then took out a knife and mugged me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33795) - you deserved it (3263)
On 02/13/2013 at 7:00pm - money - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, during my first day as a medical intern in a new ward, I was performing a rectal exam. My supervisor thought it would be funny to burst into the room and scream, "Who are you?! You don't even work here, you pervert!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (41304) - you deserved it (3134) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/30/2013 at 4:57pm - love - by dr mamour - Sent from mobile version
Today, after having sex, my girlfriend left my apartment after furiously ranting at me, because I made her come "too many times" and that it's "unfair" to her. What? FML
I agree, your life sucks (40994) - you deserved it (2667)
On 12/04/2012 at 3:09pm - intimacy - by AllegroRubato (man) - Chile (Region Metropolitana)
Today, my mom sold my Magic box at a garage sale because I "never use it." Locked inside it was my fake ID, a couple of hundred bucks, and a bag of weed. She can't remember who she sold it to. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11436) - you deserved it (21411)
On 11/19/2012 at 9:04pm - misc - by karmaquestionmark (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I discovered both how much I really talk to myself when I'm drinking alone and how thin the walls of my apartment are. I heard my own slurred voice coming from my neighbor's apartment. They had recorded me and made a mixtape of some of the more interesting things I had said. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6242) - you deserved it (12102)
On 11/14/2012 at 1:14am - misc - by talker (man) - United States (California)
Today, a homeless man asked me for some money to eat. He ate the five dollars I gave him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18500) - you deserved it (2539)
On 11/13/2012 at 6:34am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my boyfriend and I were in bed making out. He then tried to unhook my bra. After a full minute of trying unsuccessfully, he shouted "Fuck you, bra!" before hiding his face in the pillows. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24746) - you deserved it (3440)
Today, my wife sent me to the store to pick stuff up so we could make BLTs. I got the bacon, but couldn't remember what else went into them, so I bought an avocado and napkins. When I got back home, my wife very slowly and sarcastically explained what BLT stands for. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5080) - you deserved it (33458)
On 04/07/2012 at 3:40pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I went on a date to the zoo. I soon found out that my date had eaten several hash brownies before entering. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17981) - you deserved it (2813)
On 01/16/2012 at 3:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I finally gathered up the guts to say hi to the girl I like. As I was walking down the hallway, I saw her and waved hello, only to walk into a bathroom door. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21031) - you deserved it (4021)
On 10/24/2011 at 6:07am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37629) - you deserved it (3807)
On 10/14/2011 at 12:11pm - kids - by MLGreco - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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