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MoonTiger's favorite FMLs
by Kingspin / 03/30/2011 at 12:14pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
Today, I co-starred in a production of Hamlet. Halfway through play, the actor playing Hamlet forgot his lines, threw a raging temper tantrum, screaming about how much he hated the play and how he wanted to go home in front of hundreds of audience members. FML
by Sue / 03/26/2011 at 11:41am / United States (Wisconsin) / Work
by omg / 03/24/2011 at 8:43pm / Canada (Alberta) / Kids
by Anonymous / 03/22/2011 at 10:59am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend was buying a new hockey stick; to test it out he started hitting a ball around the aisle and decided to shoot it back into its bin. Instead the ball hit me dead in the mouth, giving me a fat lip. Instead of consoling me, my boyfriend yelled "GOAL!" FML
by Anonymous / 03/20/2011 at 11:34pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by mugged / 03/20/2011 at 4:29pm / United States (New York) / Animals
Today, I called the car repair shop to complain to the manager about their tow driver who keeps making sexual passes at me. The girl taking my call started crying and said that their driver was her husband. I'm being sexually harassed, my car is dead, and I think I just ended a marriage. FML
by WhyMe / 03/20/2011 at 1:42pm / United States (Indiana) / Transportation
by anonymous / 03/19/2011 at 6:32am / United Kingdom (Kent) / Intimacy
Today, I was riding to a prom with my friends in the middle of a swamp-covered area. I stuck my head out the top and screamed like they do in the movies. My hair, makeup, and mouth were quickly filled with bugs. FML
by iAMloud / 03/18/2011 at 10:29pm / United States / Health
by dizzy / 03/07/2011 at 2:28am / Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur) / Intimacy
Today, my son broke a window at school playing football. Not only did he break one, he broke the other window next to it. His excuse? He tried making it look like a bird flew in one way and flew out the other. I have to pay $800 to fix it. FML
by notsosmart / 03/06/2011 at 6:28am / Australia (New South Wales) / Money
Today, we had to discuss our heritage at school. When I told the class that I am German, Japanese, and of the Jewish faith, the teacher loudly laughs at the "irony." Something like this happens whenever I tell people my background. FML
by Anonymous / 03/06/2011 at 12:18am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was forced to attend a fire safety class, as required by my job. Last year, I completed the fire academy as a volunteer fireman. The class was not only insulting, but wrong in many ways. I got kicked out for pointing them out. I now have to take it again, or be fired. FML
by peeved / 02/17/2011 at 8:47pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work
Today, I woke up to a bloody nose. Instead of rushing to the bathroom, I creatively dripped the blood over a knife for photography class because the assignment was to show emotion. So many of the students and faculty were disturbed that I'm now forced to talk to the school psychologist. FML
by rhartnett11 / 02/16/2011 at 7:56am / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had… 2Today, I've stopped smoking, lost 30 pounds, taken several painful tests, and checked my ovulation… 3Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went…
- Today, it's my birthday. I told my boyfriend I wanted to feel special even if for just one day. He… Today, my best friend, who just got his drivers license, convinced me to take my dads brand new car… Today my girlfriend needed to talk to me. My family put me in a lot of debt then kicked me out for…