About Mooish : I am young, part cyclops and part mermaid.
I speak English, Spanish, some German, and mostly fish.
When I am supposed to be doing stuff I am probably on FML.
Thanks for stalken!
- Mooish.
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50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter's first word is "FUCK!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (27881) - you deserved it (4963)
On 12/16/2011 at 9:29pm - kids - by DocBastard (man) - Reserved
Today, it's my soon to be 12 year old daughter's birthday. On my break at work I texted her how much I loved her and happy birthday. She replied with, "K, when will you be home? Mom won't let me open presents until you're here." Good to know I'm loved. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21738) - you deserved it (3402)
On 11/30/2011 at 2:55pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my boyfriend decided that vaginal, oral, and anal sex are starting to get boring. Let's just say that my armpit is now drenched in lube. I'm afraid of what he's going to want to try once he gets bored of this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30583) - you deserved it (7014)
On 11/27/2011 at 10:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I met my girlfriend's family. Her mother wants us to stay in separate bedrooms, and I was happy to oblige since I'm staying at their house. But because there isn't an extra room, we have to stay together. Upon entering the house, her mom searched our bags for condoms and birth-control pills. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24605) - you deserved it (2040)
On 11/24/2011 at 9:09pm - intimacy - by vistingherfamily (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I tried to buy a bottle of wine from the supermarket. The scrawny, acne-ridden kid at the checkout asked to see my ID. I didn't have any on me, since I'm 37 years old and didn't expect to be asked stupid questions. I complained to his manager, only to be asked to leave. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9783) - you deserved it (33783)
On 11/24/2011 at 3:19pm - misc - by Andrew - United Kingdom (Hertford)
Today, I found Jesus. The bad news, he was in the form of a concrete statue falling on my car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27751) - you deserved it (406)
On 11/22/2011 at 12:18pm - misc - by religionbites621 - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I had a dream that I was trying to pop a balloon. Nothing I did was working, so I put it between my knees and tried to pop it that way. Immediately, I woke up to the sound of frantic hissing and meowing. As it turns out, I was trying to pop the cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27747) - you deserved it (4475)
On 11/21/2011 at 11:46pm - animals - by furryballoon (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I found out that a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser will erase the paint right off your wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16962) - you deserved it (4467)
On 11/20/2011 at 7:29pm - misc - by jazzybell - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was reading a book in German, which I don't know very well. Suddenly I reached a passage I had no trouble understanding. Excited, I showed my husband, saying I was finally getting the hang of it. He laughed and patted my head. Turns out, that particular passage was a quote. In English. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7097) - you deserved it (22919)
On 11/16/2011 at 7:37pm - misc - by dunicha - United States (Texas)
Today, my daughter asked me how to spell "Orange". "O-R-A-N-G-E" I replied. Without missing a beat, she says "No, I mean the colour, not the fruit." She is 16. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34361) - you deserved it (5453)
On 11/13/2011 at 1:53am - kids - by weswithaute - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, a month after my final bout of intimacy with the stage five clinger who's been borderline stalking me since high school, she called to tell me I'm going to be a father. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9147) - you deserved it (41315)
On 11/11/2011 at 8:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Nebraska)
Today, I realized I have to choose between being unemployed or putting up with my perverted boss who desperately wants me. I'm a guy and so is he. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32200) - you deserved it (2320)
On 11/09/2011 at 12:20pm - work - by Anonymous - Romania (Mures)
Today, I ran into my boyfriend's dad. His exact words were, "Call me when you're ready to feel what a real man can do to you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (53034) - you deserved it (3339)
On 11/03/2011 at 3:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was bitched out by my 17 year old son's teacher. It seems the idiot teacher made the kids advocate for his own political beliefs in a presentation, and my son ended his speech saying, "And it remains my opinion that our instructor is cramping my motherfucking style." Instant suspension. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20682) - you deserved it (3697)
On 10/28/2011 at 11:52am - kids - by Anonymous - United States
Today, as I was driving to work, I witnessed a kid apparently getting jumped. Being a good citizen, I got out and started yelling at them. I ended up alongside the kid in the hospital. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28562) - you deserved it (2943)
On 10/26/2011 at 3:41am - health - by Anonymous - United States
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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