About Mooish : Life is good.
Mooish's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
What'cha looking at?
You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
Mooish's favorite FMLs
Today, my mom told me that when I choked on a tortilla chip yesterday, she was seriously planning on cutting my neck open and sticking a straw in it if I didn't stop, because she saw someone do it on 'E.R.'. Now I'm scared to have an emergency around her. FML
by meg__1798 / 12/08/2015 at 9:08pm / United States (California) / Health
by cwhitney7 / 12/22/2014 at 10:04am / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
by Is that..? / 07/16/2014 at 11:51pm / United States (Colorado) / Work
by kenbez123 / 08/14/2013 at 3:55am / Malta / Miscellaneous
Today, my 15-year-old daughter's pregnancy test came back positive. I wanted to know who the father is, so I could sit the two of them down to talk the situation through with them. She isn't sure if it's her best friend, or our neighbor's son. FML
by Anonymous / 07/12/2013 at 1:19am / United States (California) / Kids
Today, I had to remove a glass bottle, complete with an ineffective pullstring, from a patient's rectum. He claimed that he'd accidentally sat on it, and later threatened to sue me for every penny if I breathed a word of it to anyone. Oops, looks like I just did. FML
by DocKreso / 06/28/2013 at 5:59pm / Croatia (Splitsko-Dalmatinska) / Work
Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML
by wtfmama / 05/04/2013 at 8:51am / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids
Today, for the third time this week, a telemarketer called me. Seriously annoyed, I told him in German that I don't speak English, in an attempt to get rid of him. He then started delivering his product pitch in German. FML
by Anonymous / 04/28/2013 at 9:57am / China (Shanghai) / Miscellaneous
Today, it's been two months since I got a kitten. He loves to hide, and then surprise me by jumping out of his hiding place. It was quite a surprise when he launched himself out of my bag during class. FML
by Anonymous / 01/25/2013 at 5:41pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, the police arrived at my door, telling me my child had been caught vandalizing. A boy who looked about 15 hugged me and said, "Hey, mum". I'm only 26 years old and had never seen this boy in my life. FML
by Female / 01/22/2013 at 6:16pm / Australia (Victoria) / Kids
by ugh / 01/08/2013 at 8:01pm / United States (Michigan) / Kids
Today, my friends and I were playing truth or dare game. It was late and we were drunk, so they dared me to run naked into my neighbor's yard while yelling, "Help! The pixies took my penis!" I ran screaming right into their big family reunion. FML
by nekkidness / 11/21/2012 at 4:06pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I'm now about 15 pounds overweight. When I called him a hypocrite as he's over 40 pounds overweight, he said that his weight didn't matter because "it's the girl's job to look hot." FML
by thinner than you / 11/20/2012 at 4:57pm / United States (New Jersey) / Health
by SadExperiment / 10/29/2012 at 8:42pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
- Today, whilst pleasuring myself in my bedroom, I began absent-mindedly staring at a spider on the… Today, my friends decided it would be funny to give me a "hickey" with a vacuum cleaner while I was… Today, after 6 months of sex, my boyfriend showered himself with praise for managing, for the first…