Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Monster27

Offline (11 hours ago) | Search for a member

Monster27

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4891
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Monster27's page activity

Visits<b>mds9986</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 12:45pm<b>photographer49</b> - the 01/19/2015 at 5:15pm<b>rareawesomeness</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 12:24am<b>BeastlyNoob9696</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 8:43pm<b>jsjelly07</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 11:23pm<b>melbear772</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 9:37pm<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 5:35pm<b>SaharaZinc</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 11:15pm<b>killjoys_forever</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 11:33am<b>beamdaddy48</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 3:26pm<b>WillowB47</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 1:28am<b>elgallero</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 11:45pm<b>PerSueTwo513</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 2:44pm<b>AlwaysWatching</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 9:54pm<b>TheKingKen</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 11:20am<b>umerin</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 2:42am<b>cassieperiodbee</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 1:11am<b>illegalbeagle69</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 12:26pm

Fucked!<b>mds9986</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 6:46pm

Monster27's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

See all of Monster27's badges

Monster27's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom told me that she heard me and my best friend in my room grunting and talking about how hard we were. She said she loved me and accepted me no matter what. Thanks mom, but we were working out. FML

#21445547
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23640) - you deserved it (4869)

On 07/22/2015 at 4:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I brought my best friend home and told my dad we were going to study together. He loudly replied "Woah!", stumbled around for a few seconds like he was drunk, then apologized and said the "sheer amount of gayness" between us had overloaded his gaydar. We're not gay, dammit! FML

#21429349
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25527) - you deserved it (2992)

On 06/21/2015 at 2:04am - misc - by notgay (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob and she surprised me by deciding to swallow. Or so I thought. When she came up to kiss me, she spat my man-milk into my mouth and almost pissed herself laughing when I freaked out and nearly threw up. FML

#21428553
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29764) - you deserved it (12275)

On 06/19/2015 at 12:17pm - intimacy - by shmarf (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was sick, and my voice was really low and raspy. A cute guy smiled at me and said hi, so I said hi too. He looked shocked and said, "Sorry bro, thought you were a girl." I am. FML

#21421148
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28120) - you deserved it (1999)

On 06/05/2015 at 8:21am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, I saw a real, erect penis for the first time. My brother's, while he was jerking off. He doesn't know I saw, because he was holding a pair of panties over his face with his other hand. I'm trying like hell to act like I'm not mentally scarred. FML

#21411971
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32378) - you deserved it (2981)

On 05/18/2015 at 12:58pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, at a party I got blind drunk and I gave a guy a blowjob for the first time. I'm a 100% heterosexual male. FML

#21406764
301 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19871) - you deserved it (36931)

On 05/08/2015 at 12:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - India (Delhi)

Today, my mom announced my pregnancy to the entire family via Facebook with the post, "Just went from a MILF to a GILF in one moment of unprotected sex." FML

#21401833
102 comments

Today, while at the zoo with my boyfriend, he pointed at the howling gorillas and shouted over to me: "Hah! That's what you sound like in bed!" FML

#21387442
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28406) - you deserved it (3661)

On 04/04/2015 at 8:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mother walked in on me watching porn. As punishment, she sat down and made me watch the rest of it with her as she gave play-by-play commentary. FML

#21368964
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43338) - you deserved it (19617)

On 03/05/2015 at 10:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, we had a drug search at school. After the search, we went back inside. My bag was open, and my lunch was gone. FML

#21341948
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30300) - you deserved it (2051)

On 01/21/2015 at 10:46pm - misc - by blububble412 - United States (Arizona)

Today, on a first date with a guy, I spilled ice cream all over my pants. He bought me some more, and as I was thanking him, he said, "You've never had a guy treat you right, have you?" I said no and started crying. FML

#21322290
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39453) - you deserved it (4377)

On 12/22/2014 at 8:28pm - love - by Soulara89 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I blew my load in less than a minute. I wasn't having sex or even making out. I was spooning. FML

#21318416
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35466) - you deserved it (6553)

On 12/16/2014 at 7:01am - intimacy - by Extravirgin (man) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, I managed to convince my sister that when you press down the diet button on the lid of a McDonald's cup it turns whatever is in there diet. I pressed the button and she started shouting how she hates diet drinks. She's 19. FML

#21292789
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29052) - you deserved it (3336)

On 11/05/2014 at 4:25pm - misc - by aineroo (woman) - Ireland (Galway)

Today, I was at the mall with my young daughter. I hate pooping in public but I really had to go so I brought her in with me. Thinking we were alone, I started to go and my daughter yelled, "Good job, mommy, you're using the potty like a big girl!" I then heard laughing. FML

#21283795
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37353) - you deserved it (4576)

On 10/23/2014 at 2:43pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a day after being informed that keeping my wallet in my front pocket was "strange", my wallet was stolen from my back pocket. FML



FML's blog

  • Feeling shitty? Write to Auntie Bernie!
  • It's a new summer, so here's a new feature. OK, that doesn't mean much, but you've got to start somewhere. The idea came from the fact that we get sent a lot of FMLs that touch us, in our heart of…

Friday 24 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: