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Monjara's FML badges
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Monjara's favorite FMLs
Today, I found out my little sister was a stripper. At the same time, she found out that when I said I was having a "quiet birthday with some friends," what I really meant was "hiring a stripper to jump out of a cake." FML
by Jon / 01/18/2010 at 3:26pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 12/27/2009 at 7:49am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy
by Anon. / 11/28/2009 at 7:22am / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Love
by IlikeGreenPlants / 11/25/2009 at 9:41pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
by oxjessiiox / 10/11/2009 at 11:42am / United Kingdom (Leicestershire) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at a local club with my friends sitting at a table when some guys approached us. One of them started telling me about his recent adventures through Europe and was very interesting. Something warm hit my leg and I realized the guy was urinating on me. FML
by Anonymous / 10/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous
by dumbass / 10/01/2009 at 4:07pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had to cover for my coworker who didn't turn up for work. He is always late for work and I was pissed off about having to cover for him again so I said to my colleagues "He better be either in hospital or dead." Turns out he was dead. FML
by mcdeez / 09/21/2009 at 10:06pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Work
Today, I parked in front of a grocery store and took the portable GPS system off the mount on the dashboard and put it in my pocket so no one would break into my car and steal it. When I got back, the window was smashed and someone had stolen the plastic mount. FML
by sucksforme / 09/11/2009 at 8:40pm / United States (Oregon) / Transportation
Today, my husband and I decided to take a romantic trip to the beach. We got pulled over, and shortly thereafter he was arrested. Just so happens you can't miss child support payments for your twelve year old daughter without getting a warrant. He has a daughter? We've been married for 14 years. FML
by AreYouSerious / 08/26/2009 at 8:57pm / United States (Oregon) / Holidays
by heartless / 05/15/2009 at 2:14am / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, I was pulling my trolley luggage at the airport when I passed 2 cute girls smiling at me. Thinking I looked real cool, I kept on walking without paying heed to anything else. Then my brother shouted asking me what was I doing, only to realise that the handle had come off a few metres back. FML
by NotSoCool / 05/15/2009 at 12:41am / Singapore / Miscellaneous
Today, I was walking in the kitchen with my parrot on my shoulder and my dog running around. Something freaked out my bird and she bit my ear and started flapping her wings in my face. Surprised, I took a step back, tripped over my dog, fell, hit my head on the stove, and got knocked unconscious. FML
by margretlle / 04/26/2009 at 12:07am / United States (Florida) / Kids
Today, I was eating a hamburger on the street when a pigeon came down to take a bite. I ran and got 30 birds or so chasing me. My legs were burning, half of my burger was gone, and an entire office building was laughing at me. FML
by fencernick / 04/22/2009 at 6:40am / United States (New York) / Animals
by tool / 04/09/2009 at 2:03am / United States (Nevada) / Work
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his…
- Today, my best friend thought the best time to tell me she was sleeping with my boyfriend was while… Today, my dad walked in on me jacking off. He swore and told me to lock my door next time. Later on… Today, while watching Rio, I got a boner when Blu and Jewel kissed. This is almost as pathetic as…