Monjara

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Monjara

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2665
  • Number of comments : 27
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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Monjara's page activity

Visits<b>refticon</b> - the 04/03/2016 at 5:42pm<b>constipation</b> - the 10/30/2015 at 8:46pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 6:19pm<b>hippodankamus</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 1:16am<b>Allornone</b> - the 05/14/2013 at 11:24pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 12:19am

Monjara's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of Monjara's badges

Monjara's favorite FMLs

Today, a spider dangled an inch away from my face while I was driving. I freaked out and accidentally bumped the car in front of me. Three cops arrived on the scene and I had to explain to them what happened. I can still hear them laughing. FML

by Anonymous / 03/06/2011 at 8:48pm / United States / Transportation

Today, I woke up after a night out drinking on my sofa, with an electric dog collar around my neck and handcuffs on my wrists. The keys were on the other side of the invisible doggy fence. FML

by stupiddrunk / 02/28/2011 at 8:10pm / United Kingdom (London) / Health

Today, I was in class when all of a sudden I was hit in the head by a metal pencil case. My teacher threw it at me to get my attention. FML

by ouch / 02/09/2011 at 1:02pm / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, I found out that even though my sister and I are identical twins, I'm known as "The ugly one". FML

by 5minsolder / 02/07/2011 at 8:21pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, the nicest thing said to me all day was from my microwave that flashes 'enjoy your meal' when it finishes cooking something. FML

by bymyself / 02/06/2011 at 9:05pm / Miscellaneous

Today, while waiting on a customer at a restaurant, I accidentally asked a midget if she'd like a children's menu. FML

by Anonymous / 02/06/2011 at 12:53pm / United States (Oregon) / Work

Today, my mom and I tried out Just Dance 2 on the Wii. When we both threw out our hands at the same time, my mom's Wii remote hit my hand and ripped my finger nail. As I stared at the bloody, half hanging off nail, my mom muttered, "You should have stayed in your dance space." FML

by Winchesterlover / 02/05/2011 at 1:41pm / United States (California) / Geek

Today, I cried harder than I have in years. I was babysitting, and watching Pokémon to pass the time. It was the episode where Ash, Dawn, and Brock on the show went their separate ways, and may never be together again. FML

by Anonymous / 02/05/2011 at 12:22pm / Canada (Ontario) / Geek

Today, in the middle of the night, my fiancé started yelling gibberish in his sleep. When I tried to wake him, he punched me square in the face. FML

by nosleep / 02/04/2011 at 7:05pm / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous

Today, at a restaurant, I ordered the best chocolate soufflé on the menu, which was called "Double Satisfaction". The waiter asked me what would I like to order. The words that came out of my mouth were "Double Orgasm". FML

by theshameofit / 02/01/2011 at 12:42pm / Cyprus (Limassol) / Intimacy

Today, I got home from working late and decided to write a cute email to my girlfriend since I haven't seen her in two weeks. I was about to finish it off when my door swung open, and in a panic, I opened another tab to hide my email. It was porn. FML

by Anonymous / 01/28/2011 at 2:59pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Intimacy

Today, I got pulled over for a traffic violation. Thinking I could get away with it, I spoke with a French accent. The officer then asked me a question in perfect French. I got a ticket. FML

by nmaidkieavg / 01/25/2011 at 1:13am / Miscellaneous

Today, I wrote a mental note: don't tell a couple of nuns that you used black magic to fix their computer. Then don't tell the story to your boss just as the nuns walk back in again. Then don't say "speak of the devil" to them. FML

by Anonymous / 01/20/2011 at 5:55am / Australia (Western Australia) / Work

Today, I was in the Cafeteria at a table near the guy I like. He was playing around with a ball with a couple of his friends. They dropped it, and it rolled over next to my foot. When I bent down to pick it up, I smashed my head against a chair. FML

by Anonymous / 01/19/2011 at 9:58pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had an asthma attack because I was masturbating too vigorously. FML

by SkinsCastSelection / 01/17/2011 at 3:13pm / France / Intimacy