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Monjara's FML badges
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Monjara's favorite FMLs
Today, a spider dangled an inch away from my face while I was driving. I freaked out and accidentally bumped the car in front of me. Three cops arrived on the scene and I had to explain to them what happened. I can still hear them laughing. FML
by Anonymous / 03/06/2011 at 8:48pm / United States / Transportation
by stupiddrunk / 02/28/2011 at 8:10pm / United Kingdom (London) / Health
by ouch / 02/09/2011 at 1:02pm / United States (Washington) / Health
by 5minsolder / 02/07/2011 at 8:21pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by bymyself / 02/06/2011 at 9:05pm / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/06/2011 at 12:53pm / United States (Oregon) / Work
Today, my mom and I tried out Just Dance 2 on the Wii. When we both threw out our hands at the same time, my mom's Wii remote hit my hand and ripped my finger nail. As I stared at the bloody, half hanging off nail, my mom muttered, "You should have stayed in your dance space." FML
by Winchesterlover / 02/05/2011 at 1:41pm / United States (California) / Geek
Today, I cried harder than I have in years. I was babysitting, and watching Pokémon to pass the time. It was the episode where Ash, Dawn, and Brock on the show went their separate ways, and may never be together again. FML
by Anonymous / 02/05/2011 at 12:22pm / Canada (Ontario) / Geek
by nosleep / 02/04/2011 at 7:05pm / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous
Today, at a restaurant, I ordered the best chocolate soufflé on the menu, which was called "Double Satisfaction". The waiter asked me what would I like to order. The words that came out of my mouth were "Double Orgasm". FML
by theshameofit / 02/01/2011 at 12:42pm / Cyprus (Limassol) / Intimacy
Today, I got home from working late and decided to write a cute email to my girlfriend since I haven't seen her in two weeks. I was about to finish it off when my door swung open, and in a panic, I opened another tab to hide my email. It was porn. FML
by Anonymous / 01/28/2011 at 2:59pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Intimacy
by nmaidkieavg / 01/25/2011 at 1:13am / Miscellaneous
Today, I wrote a mental note: don't tell a couple of nuns that you used black magic to fix their computer. Then don't tell the story to your boss just as the nuns walk back in again. Then don't say "speak of the devil" to them. FML
by Anonymous / 01/20/2011 at 5:55am / Australia (Western Australia) / Work
Today, I was in the Cafeteria at a table near the guy I like. He was playing around with a ball with a couple of his friends. They dropped it, and it rolled over next to my foot. When I bent down to pick it up, I smashed my head against a chair. FML
by Anonymous / 01/19/2011 at 9:58pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by SkinsCastSelection / 01/17/2011 at 3:13pm / France / Intimacy
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…