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Monjara's FML badges
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Monjara's favorite FMLs
Today, I was sitting at the computer browsing various websites. In my attempt to scoot the chair forward, I hit my knee against the desk that my computer was on, and ended up breaking it. I literally broke my knee sitting on my ass. FML
by Charles / 06/21/2011 at 12:59pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health
Today, my friend sent me an online money transfer. After forgetting the password and locking myself out of my account, I had to phone up the bank and have it reset. I was prompted to answer the security question, which was "What, what?" I had to say "In the butt." to get my money. FML
by notinthebutt / 06/14/2011 at 1:57pm / United States (Minnesota) / Money
by meyo555 / 06/02/2011 at 5:45am / United States (Nebraska) / Health
by quickfingers100 / 06/01/2011 at 12:05pm / United Kingdom / Work
by OopsKid / 05/30/2011 at 2:14pm / France / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend and I were taking a shower together. We were fooling around when she takes the shower head and starts spraying my penis with it. I asked her "what are you doing?" Her response: "I'm watering it to make it grow." FML
by Anonymous / 05/29/2011 at 10:04am / United States / Intimacy
Today, my AP teacher once again accused me of plagiarism. Apparently the words "demise," "ultimately," and "rural," are too sophisticated for an 11th grade AP student to use and MUST have been copied from the Internet. FML
by dumbteacher / 05/23/2011 at 10:35am / Miscellaneous
by Nick / 05/10/2011 at 3:37am / Philippines (Quezon City) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was out shopping. It was fine until my dental crossbow broke as I was laughing. The springs locked, and I couldn't close my mouth. The orthodontist couldn't see me for two hours, leaving me to walk around town with my mouth hanging open like a psychopath. FML
by rockyrocket / 04/26/2011 at 3:19pm / Canada (New Brunswick) / Health
by bumpyroad / 04/17/2011 at 10:29am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health
Today, I was at a local talent show and during a piano performance I had to go to the bathroom. I sang along in the bathroom but was unaware how loud I was until I walked out and everyone started applauding me while the pianist was still playing. FML
by American idol / 04/06/2011 at 2:19am / Miscellaneous
by omg / 03/24/2011 at 8:43pm / Canada (Alberta) / Kids
by Anonymous / 03/09/2011 at 4:52am / India (Karnataka) / Kids
- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…