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Monjara

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Monjara

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1412
  • Number of comments : 27
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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Monjara's page activity

Visits<b>Allornone</b> - the 05/14/2013 at 11:24pm

Monjara's FML badges

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Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

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Monjara's favorite FMLs

Today, working as a nurse, I saw a patient in for follow-up after a partial leg amputation. I checked her blood pressure and gave her the reading, which prompted her husband to ask what it meant. She replied, "I'm alive." Before I could stop myself, "And kicking" spilled out of my mouth. FML

#20493802
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25478) - you deserved it (8500)

On 02/04/2013 at 10:30pm - health - by facepalm - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I walked in on my mom drenched in tears, barely able to speak. I ran to get her some tissues and a nice cup of tea to calm her down. After a few minutes of sitting in silence, I asked her if she wanted to talk about what happened. She watched an episode of Gossip Girl. FML

#20491267
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28298) - you deserved it (2768)

On 02/03/2013 at 4:58am - misc - by wetqueefa (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was trying on some shoes. As I was bending down, an old lady with a walking frame slowly approached. As she got close she whispered to me "Mmm, you've got a nice tushie." My girlfriend will not let me hear the end of it. FML

#20482645
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25980) - you deserved it (3205)

On 01/28/2013 at 3:14am - misc - by Creeped out (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I walked into my mother's house to find that she had knitted clothes for some of the household appliances. The toaster was wearing a dress. FML

#20457945
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28770) - you deserved it (3154)

On 01/13/2013 at 10:00pm - misc - by anon - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend discovered how to make me queef on demand when he has his fingers inside me. I now feel like my love life has been replaced with fart sounds. FML

#20189453
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30772) - you deserved it (3797)

On 12/03/2012 at 1:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my friend showed me a video of me in a nightclub. I was holding two Skittles vodka shots and shouting, "Red and green, merry Kwanzaa!" The shots were yellow and purple. I can't remember that night at all. FML

Today, I met someone really cool and their departing words were, for some odd reason, "We should totally be friends, I mean unless you're schizophrenic or something, haha!" I have schizophrenia. FML

#20140639
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25926) - you deserved it (1989)

On 10/30/2012 at 7:42pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while at my job as a hairdresser, I was giving an elderly client a perm and I thought she'd fallen asleep. She'd died. FML

#20102415
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47772) - you deserved it (1996)

On 10/05/2012 at 1:49am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

#19793582
402 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37257) - you deserved it (4006)

On 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm - misc - by 16590 (man) - Sweden

Today, my therapist gave me some great self-sufficiency advice. It sounded familiar. When I got home I realized she had been quoting Christina Aguilera songs. For £100 an hour. FML

#19271086
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24784) - you deserved it (3606)

On 03/13/2012 at 1:33pm - health - by PixieWrists - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, I got circumcised by my girlfriend's braces. FML

#18661455
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52340) - you deserved it (10707)

On 12/31/2011 at 4:21am - intimacy - by nickthetank (man) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, my coworker friend told me she was going to the restroom. Soon after, I did the same. Once in the stall, I could smell a stench emanating from the next one. I yelled, "Ew, you stinky bitch" and sprayed air freshener under the partition. As I left the stall, my friend walked into the restroom. FML

#18490582
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8978) - you deserved it (40956)

On 12/11/2011 at 11:46pm - work - by stinky (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, after five long years of having been together, my boyfriend told me that he wanted to take our relationship to the "next level". We now have a Sims relationship. FML

#17814910
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28991) - you deserved it (4467)

On 09/23/2011 at 6:24pm - love - by Anonymous - Germany (Berlin)

Today, my car was broken into, and they stole all my CDs, but left my daughter's Black Eyed Peas CD behind. I'm pretty pissed about the theft, but almost glad to see that the delinquents in my town have a decent taste in music. FML

#17444868
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29045) - you deserved it (3908)

On 08/11/2011 at 10:30pm - money - by Musicfan - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I stepped in a turd. Not a dog turd, my grandmother's turd. FML

#16900217
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44639) - you deserved it (4197)

On 06/28/2011 at 4:40pm - animals - by Username - United States (Texas)



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