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  • Number of visits : 9194
  • Number of comments : 107
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Momo_Moonlight's page activity

Visits<b>Dthsapprntc</b> - the 08/02/2016 at 8:16am<b>babymama727</b> - the 05/13/2016 at 11:58pm<b>connaughty0225</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 9:23pm<b>Mynamewontfi</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 10:32am<b>IAMTHEJEWBOY</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 6:23am<b>hullarms</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 2:19am<b>ultimate41</b> - the 01/31/2015 at 11:35pm<b>deachawill</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 10:13am<b>Azka</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 8:51am<b>spork_of_doom</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 10:49am<b>cokeman666</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 1:17am<b>patnn</b> - the 02/06/2014 at 2:32pm<b>umidontrember</b> - the 01/09/2014 at 11:21am<b>Owlnight321</b> - the 12/30/2013 at 11:05pm<b>f36k</b> - the 10/19/2013 at 1:22pm<b>feezy11</b> - the 09/30/2013 at 4:02pm<b>vampirefairy_07</b> - the 09/19/2013 at 8:23pm<b>meepmerp</b> - the 09/10/2013 at 12:17am

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Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!


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Momo_Moonlight's favorite FMLs

Today, as a bartender was carding my friends, I excitedly asked if he was going to card me. The guy gave me a blank stare before finally replying, "Look, lady, I don't have time to stroke some middle-aged woman's ego." I asked because it was my birthday. I just turned twenty-one. FML

by rebecca / 03/10/2009 at 5:31pm / Austria (Wien) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went on a run with this cute guy I know. I was sweating untractively and profusely so I decided to discretly grab a leaf from a tree and wipe my face with it. A bird had done the same with his ass few minutes ago. FML

by broussimousse / 03/10/2009 at 4:42pm / United Kingdom (London) / Animals

Today, my best friend resolved things with her boyfriend after he had admitted to cheating on her. I felt really guilty because I drunkenly hooked up with her boyfriend last month. She said, "I felt better when he told me that the girl was extremely ugly and bad in bed." FML

by collegegirl90 / 03/09/2009 at 4:52pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I got my first tattoo. It was a surprise for my fiancé: our names together over a heart. I went home but before I could show him, he said we had to have a 'talk.' Now my ex's name is tattooed on my back. The kicker? Turns out I'm allergic to the ink. FML

by anon / 03/08/2009 at 4:47am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, my friend sent me an instant message, telling me how excited she was that she was accepted to a FIT Summer Program. I told her I was so proud, and that she can finally lose that excess weight. She told me that she meant Fashion Institute of Technology. FML

by Noname / 03/07/2009 at 12:41pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and his family had invited me to go on a Tropical family trip with them. When we got to the airport, security stopped me and opened my carry-on bag. I'd forgotten about the no-liquids rule. They took out a bottle of Massage Oil, Lube, Vagasil and Nair. His whole family saw. FML

by Kammy / 03/01/2009 at 6:38pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, to ask a boy I really liked to my school's turnabout dance, I gave him a box full of 10 cupcakes that spelled out T-U-R-N-A-B-O-U-T-?. The boy gave the box back a little later. There were two cupcakes left inside. It said N-O. FML

by justanaccount / 02/27/2009 at 2:35pm / Spain (Madrid) / Miscellaneous

Today, there was a luncheon at work in another dept. We all went to get some free food and see new faces. There was a hot girl walking around chatting. I grabbed my buddy's arm and told him there was a "nice pair of tits here" He saw her. It's his daughter. She's a new-hire... running HR. FML

by bluecollar / 02/26/2009 at 3:07am / United States (Arizona) / Work

Today, I went to my crushes Mardi Gras party. He was handing out beads to all the girls at the party that flashed him. When he came around to me he stopped and said "I will give you these beads NOT to flash me." FML

by MADfml / 02/25/2009 at 10:12pm / United States (Virginia) / Love

Today, I let my friend who is in 'beauty school' do my hair. I now look like i have a mullet. What was supposed to be auburn highlights is now hot pink. I have a job interview in the morning. FML

by asdf1851 / 02/18/2009 at 3:35am / United States (North Carolina) / Work

Today, I wanted to seduce my boyfriend so I put on my sexiest lingerie and started playing mood music. As he was eating dinner, I climbed up on the table and started seductively crawling across to him. The table collapsed under my weight. FML

by Noname / 02/15/2009 at 6:15pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Love

Today, I was expelled from school. By my own mother. FML

by Kulcha / 02/13/2009 at 6:07am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous

Today, my crush talked to me for the first time. He told me to stop staring. FML

by hatethatiloveyou / 02/09/2009 at 7:37pm / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, a woman walked out of the Humane Society with a cat carrier. I said, "Oh did you adopt him?" She walked past and started crying. She had just brought her cat in to be euthanized. FML

by Ves / 02/03/2009 at 6:19pm / United States (Oregon) / Animals

Today, I got stuck in an elevator for 2 hours with my boyfriend and the guy that I have been secretly having an affair with for 6 months. FML

by Noname / 02/02/2009 at 2:23pm / United States (Maryland) / Love