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MollytheKillah

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MollytheKillah

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  • Number of visits : 443
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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MollytheKillah's page activity

Visits<b>JokerJim2013</b> - the 02/25/2013 at 11:27am

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MollytheKillah's favorite FMLs

Today, I waited on an elderly man whose wife had just left him. After him going on and on about how his dog will love his leftover chicken, I nervously caught a case of verbal diarrhea and uttered, "Well, if there's chicken involved, I'll get on my knees and be your dog." FML

#18886717
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9251) - you deserved it (30610)

On 01/23/2012 at 12:12am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, it was my first day working as a nightclub bartender. All through the evening, a really creepy bloke stood in a dark corner and leered at the girls on the dance floor. When I took the bouncer to one side to let him know, he told me the man was a coat stand. FML

#18554140
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11457) - you deserved it (28714)

On 12/19/2011 at 3:57pm - work - by Bob smith (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was working at the mall as Santa, when a little girl took a shit in my lap. FML

#18495546
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36813) - you deserved it (3918)

On 12/12/2011 at 4:45pm - kids - by Santa - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I rubbed my face in my armpit stubble because it felt like my ex-boyfriend's face. FML

#18342381
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12926) - you deserved it (45440)

On 11/24/2011 at 10:51pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while dancing at my studio, our instructor was giving us all characters opposite of ourselves to portray in an improv solo. My friends got cool things like "creepy" and "vulnerable". I got "extremely sexy". FML

#18085773
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26753) - you deserved it (3478)

On 10/27/2011 at 12:00am - misc - by apparentlyunsexy - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up, showered, and began brushing my teeth. When I started to brush my tongue I gagged, like usual, and threw up a little. What's unusual? I threw up a cockroach. FML

#18052574
330 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51708) - you deserved it (4053)

On 10/23/2011 at 7:45am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out I have an abscess in my bellybutton which causes me extreme pain and discomfort when I sit down. I am a receptionist. FML

#18016241
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24841) - you deserved it (2235)

On 10/18/2011 at 4:35pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up after having a wet dream about Marge Simpson. I really need to get laid. FML

#17960202
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33665) - you deserved it (8205)

On 10/11/2011 at 3:06pm - intimacy - by margelover (man) - Denmark (Nordjylland)

Today, I had to take my dog to the vet for him to be put to sleep. I could feel the cold, hard shaft of irony slide its way up my ass and slowly fuck me senseless with every step I took on this beautiful National Dog Day. FML

#17586114
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31374) - you deserved it (5441)

On 08/26/2011 at 1:49pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to utter the phrase "OK, but no cape during sex" to my girlfriend. FML

Today, my friend and I went for a late night walk along the beach. We decided to sit down on a log. It was a dead seal. FML

#17447833
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43260) - you deserved it (6397)

On 08/12/2011 at 3:44am - animals - by squishylog - United States (California)

Today, I was doing swimming practice at the pool. I suddenly got breathless, dizzy, and felt like I was drowning. I cried out to the instructor, telling him I had a weak heart. He shouted back, "I don't care about your girlfriend's problems! Swim, bitch!" FML

#17233165
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41542) - you deserved it (5488) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/23/2011 at 7:52pm - love - by mathii - Sent from mobile version

Today, as a joke, I hid under my parents' bed, hoping to scare them when they came home. When they finally arrived, they burst through their bedroom door, tearing each other's clothes off. I had to keep my breath in time with my mom's panting and moaning as my dad brutally dominated her. FML

#17109043
425 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30553) - you deserved it (89049)

On 07/14/2011 at 3:35pm - intimacy - by gir - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML

#17088739
429 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73633) - you deserved it (7678)

On 07/13/2011 at 1:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out via Facebook that my brother got engaged several days ago. Not only did he not tell me, but we live in the same house. FML

#16951432
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33086) - you deserved it (4141)

On 07/02/2011 at 5:51pm - love - by thanksfyi (woman) - Norway



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