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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I came home to see my husband talking to his penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23393) - you deserved it (7924)
On 08/24/2010 at 2:17am - intimacy - by chewybarseventy (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I dyed my hair bright red from its previous black. No one has noticed except my dog, who won't stop barking at me because she doesn't know who I am. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21425) - you deserved it (5393)
On 08/22/2010 at 1:23pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I took my brother and nieces to the zoo. Two of the lions at the exhibit were mating, so I said, "They're playing leap-frog." My 4-year-old niece said, "Looks like they're fucking to me." FML
I agree, your life sucks (38238) - you deserved it (10978)
On 08/21/2010 at 12:49pm - intimacy - by mc_dreamy - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, my girlfriend of a year exclaimed 'Oh my god!' for the first time during sex. Nope, I haven't improved in bed, I recently moved a tv into my room and something exciting happened on the show she was watching. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19584) - you deserved it (9404)
On 08/19/2010 at 2:32am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I was messing with my boyfriend in my basement. We are both virgins and he wanted to perform oral sex on me for the first time. Naked, we finally decided to try to have sex. We discovered the act is much harder than it may seem. We're both still virgins. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23626) - you deserved it (24978)
On 08/12/2010 at 9:01pm - intimacy - by Blueberrypicc (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I had to explain to my doctor and parents that I dislocated my shoulder while masturbating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24787) - you deserved it (24644)
On 08/04/2010 at 8:24pm - intimacy - by kinky - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was called handsome. Too bad it was coming from a trashed homeless lady, who then went on to tell me that she "likes my lips and wants to rape me." FML
I agree, your life sucks (32215) - you deserved it (2772)
On 08/04/2010 at 3:58am - intimacy - by IllJustGetYouASweaterThen (man) - United States (New Mexico)
Today, my wife of 2 years told me she was pregnant, after we've been trying for ages. Excited, about to call my parents, my wife then told me, "Don't get your hopes up it might not be yours, the father could be 5 other guys." And then asked me what I'd like for dinner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45381) - you deserved it (3025)
On 08/03/2010 at 12:07am - intimacy - by Cheated (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I dislocated my shoulder. How? I went to a party with some friends and they each bet me $20 I couldn't lick my elbow. I guess I proved them wrong. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6186) - you deserved it (27221)
On 07/25/2010 at 1:06am - health - by one_BAMF - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my sister was on television. It would have been great if she weren't being handcuffed for burglary. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26243) - you deserved it (2112)
On 07/24/2010 at 7:21pm - love - by ghostyyy - Sent from mobile version
Today, my girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me because she said I was more of a woman than she was. I yelled out, "I HATE YOU!" and started to cry. She then took a tampon out of her purse, handed it to me, laughed, and walked away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13547) - you deserved it (52555)
On 07/24/2010 at 6:53am - misc - by GirlishMan1883897 (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I brought my boyfriend of a year and a half to meet my parents. Turns out he dated my mom. This should be a fun dinner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40171) - you deserved it (4301)
On 07/21/2010 at 4:31pm - love - by highlandgirl10 (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my mother continued her lifelong habit of talking to anyone who isn't white in extremely slow, exaggerated "caveman" English. She insists that she isn't being racist, but rather is helping. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36103) - you deserved it (3244)
On 07/20/2010 at 5:17pm - misc - by notmuchfun - United States (Michigan)
Today, while driving through town, I was distracted by a pretty girl walking on the nearby pavement and accidentally rear-ended the car in front of me. Not only did the pretty girl witness the crash and give a statement, it turned out she was a very feminine man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10066) - you deserved it (32878)
On 07/20/2010 at 6:12am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)
Today, I met my biological mother for the first time. She stole my wallet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51632) - you deserved it (2705)
On 07/19/2010 at 8:23pm - misc - by thanksmom (woman) - United States
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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