Mnemic

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Offline (the 06/18/2015 at 11:02pm)

Mnemic

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Vlist, Netherlands
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 1 January 1979 (37 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 135855
  • Number of comments : 222
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Mnemic's page activity

Visits<b>minijoy1312354</b> - the 06/29/2016 at 9:20am<b>maggeei</b> - the 05/12/2016 at 6:43pm<b>Salvanoi</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 9:36am<b>xNuclear</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 1:23pm<b>zachjm98</b> - the 10/01/2015 at 9:03pm<b>gizmodorner</b> - the 10/01/2015 at 1:28pm<b>oops6663</b> - the 08/31/2015 at 1:28am<b>NicoleP1993</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 10:02pm<b>alyak98</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 2:32am<b>ZoeeeGuyss</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 3:22pm<b>Miss_Blondie44</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 11:56pm<b>msk1155</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 10:34am<b>riandcheysmom</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 10:34pm<b>heezsus</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 6:29pm<b>Melayia</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 8:38am<b>sharkalotte</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 1:38pm<b>hekinokuroihi</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 12:12am<b>DarkPurple</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 12:48am

Fucked!<b>maggeei</b> - the 05/13/2016 at 12:44am

Mnemic's FML badges

Perfectionist

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Beginner

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Mnemic's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML

by wtfdreams / 05/17/2009 at 8:33am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I went out to a nice restaurant for my friend's birthday. I went to the bathroom and heard the woman in the other stall crying. She couldn't pull her underwear up over her obese, old-lady ass because her arms don't reach that far anymore. I was the only one there. I had no choice. FML

by bathroomseww / 05/12/2009 at 3:19am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I was taking a bath and needed shampoo. I leaned on the soap holder to get some and it came off the wall. Huge ants started pouring out running up the walls, down the walls, EVERYWHERE. I ran out of the bathroom screaming, completely naked. FML

by Karmas3itch / 05/12/2009 at 12:19am / United States (Ohio) / Animals

Today, I gave my wife a cat. The first thing it did when it got out of the box was scratch the sh*t out of my leg. Next, it ran up to my wife and purred. She said, "Good cat." FML

by prevostsrocklike / 05/11/2009 at 8:38am / United States (Tennessee) / Animals

Today, I received a list of employee names who were losing their jobs and I had to remove them from the system as I work for IT. I was on the list. That's right. My last responsibility as an employee was removing myself from the system for security reasons. FML

by IT_4_Hire / 05/10/2009 at 4:41pm / United States (Indiana) / Work

Today, my boyfriend texted me saying, "I can come over today. She thinks I've got work." I think he had the wrong number. FML

by Anonymous / 05/10/2009 at 2:46pm / United States (Tennessee) / Love

Today, I found out that my husband named our daughter after his favorite porn star. FML

by Oblivious / 05/08/2009 at 3:39pm / Kuwait / Love

Today, I had a terrible dream where my boyfriend cheated on me with his ex. I woke up almost crying and called him just to tell him how much he means to me. Turns out my dream gave him that little extra push he needed to confess he's been cheating on me. With his ex. FML

by WonderWall09 / 05/08/2009 at 12:23pm / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, my wife and I decided it would be funny to pull a prank on her family who we were going to see for dinner. I hid in the foyer while she went in and announced to her parents that she was leaving me. I watched as her mother hugged her daughter and cried "Finally..." FML

by goner / 05/01/2009 at 12:05am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up with the worst cold, ever. My nose was running like crazy and my eyes were all puffy. So I stumbled over to the medicine cabinet and took what I thought were three tylenol cold's. Two hours later I'm still sick and I can't leave the bathroom. They were laxatives. FML

by fuckmyliiiiiiife / 04/30/2009 at 9:40pm / United States (New York) / Health

Today, my boss confessed to me that she doesn't know how to change the staples in the staplers at work, so she just switches them when they run out. We work at an office supply store. She makes six figures. I make $10 an hour. And she just got awarded a trip to Aruba for doing a "great job". FML

by Idiocracy / 04/24/2009 at 12:36am / United States (Illinois) / Work

Today, I had the good fortune of finding a seat on the bus, not the norm in Peru. Several minutes after sitting down, I felt something on my shoulder. Thinking it was a hand, I turned my head to look. I came face to face with a dirty man's crotch, it was his erection resting on my shoulder. FML

by gringa_Peru / 04/17/2009 at 9:19pm / Peru (Lima) / Intimacy

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend of 5 years getting intimate with my best friend. When they saw me they immediately stopped and said nothing. After about 5 seconds of silence my boyfriend yells "April fools!" April Fools was 12 days ago. FML

by Aprilfools / 04/12/2009 at 6:47am / United States (Oregon) / Love

Today, brand new cocktail dress: $300. Matching peep toe heels: $100. Getting my hair done at the salon: $80. Treating myself to a mani/pedi: $50. When finally meeting the guy I have been chatting online with for 2 months, I find out he's my cousin: priceless. FML

by Anonymous / 04/10/2009 at 2:42pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was bored at my job at Home Depot. I got a bar code tattoo 3 weeks ago and thought it would be funny to scan it. I'm a $5.98 160z claw hammer. FML

by tool / 04/09/2009 at 2:03am / United States (Nevada) / Work