Mnemic

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Offline (the 06/18/2015 at 11:02pm)

Mnemic

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Vlist, Netherlands
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 1 January 1979 (37 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 135702
  • Number of comments : 222
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Mnemic's page activity

Visits<b>maggeei</b> - the 05/12/2016 at 6:43pm<b>Salvanoi</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 9:36am<b>xNuclear</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 1:23pm<b>zachjm98</b> - the 10/01/2015 at 9:03pm<b>gizmodorner</b> - the 10/01/2015 at 1:28pm<b>oops6663</b> - the 08/31/2015 at 1:28am<b>NicoleP1993</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 10:02pm<b>alyak98</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 2:32am<b>ZoeeeGuyss</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 3:22pm<b>Miss_Blondie44</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 11:56pm<b>msk1155</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 10:34am<b>riandcheysmom</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 10:34pm<b>heezsus</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 6:29pm<b>Melayia</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 8:38am<b>sharkalotte</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 1:38pm<b>hekinokuroihi</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 12:12am<b>DarkPurple</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 12:48am<b>Samiepoo</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 12:20am

Fucked!<b>maggeei</b> - the 05/13/2016 at 12:44am

Mnemic's FML badges

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Beginner

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Mnemic's favorite FMLs

Today, it was my girlfriend's birthday. To surprise her, I told her that I was going away on business, and could not be there on her birthday. When I show up at her house to surprise her with a present and cake, she opens the door in her underwear, beside a man in his boxers. She was surprised. FML

by SURPRISE / 06/09/2009 at 8:13pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, my boyfriend of 4 years proposed to me. I wasn't expecting anything too romantic, but I would have liked something more than an email from Facebook, requesting my confirmation that we were engaged. FML

by Anonymous / 06/08/2009 at 6:41am / Singapore / Love

Today, while running on the treadmill at the gym, the girl next to me slipped and went flying back against the wall. Indecisive whether to get off and help her or to just keep going, I lost my focus and footing and flew back next to her. FML

by NoPainNoGain / 06/05/2009 at 1:03am / United States (California) / Health

Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML

by baron / 06/01/2009 at 1:36pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I washed my face and grabbed the towel to dry it, I felt something moving down my forehead, thinking it was a drop of water. Upon looking in the mirror, I found it hadn't been a drop of water. Unless the water drop had legs and was gooey. FML

by Anonymous / 05/31/2009 at 10:55am / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, I won $200 a contest at a bar. The manager took me to a vault where money collected from the strippers go into a pool. He told me that at least half of the bills were slid through a strippers butt crack so I was to "choose wisely". FML

by Anonymous / 05/30/2009 at 7:39am / Canada (Manitoba) / Money

Today, I learned how my cat's flea medicine works. Instead of killing the fleas, it just makes the fleas move off of the animal. The good news is my cat no longer has fleas. The bad news is, the fleas moved into my bed. FML

by Anonymous / 05/29/2009 at 3:38pm / United States (Louisiana) / Animals

Today, I had sex with a new guy. After we were done, he noticed my lighter on my nightstand and said "I've always wanted to try that!" He put the lighter by his butt and fart into it, producing a flame. After, when he left, I sat there, naked, mortified. FML

by FMLFMLFMLFML / 05/29/2009 at 1:52pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I bought a top with some other things. I went to the restroom and had diarrhea, but there was no toilet paper in the stall. I had to use the receipt from the store. I then realized the clerk hadn't put the top in the bag. I needed that receipt to get the top. FML

by suckerrrrr / 05/29/2009 at 1:44am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned to never blast classic rock with your convertible's top down while passing an SUV full of gangbanger wanna-bes. That is, of course, unless you want your immaculate, newly detailed leather seats to be decorated with pretty brown and white milkshake stains. FML

by Anonymous / 05/29/2009 at 12:08am / United States (New Mexico) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom talked about how it's interesting how there's so many different size of penises. She also told me that since she's doing hormone therapy she's able to orgasm a LOT more. We were stuck in stop and go traffic for 3 hours. When I turned on the radio, she turned it off and talked more. FML

by ITSnotFUNNYtoMEass / 05/25/2009 at 4:54am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I got a call saying that my son was chasing all the girls in the class with his "Sword of Death", otherwise known as my dildo. FML

by a / 05/21/2009 at 3:18pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Intimacy

Today, I was talking to this guy that I like a lot and I think he likes me back. When he told me I was beautiful I laughed so hard that I farted. Loudly. FML

by ECullen / 05/21/2009 at 3:13pm / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, after a few drinks my dad decided to tell me the story of how I was born. He wanted a baby girl after my brother, and mum didn't want any more children. So he tricked her by giving her the wrong pill. That should explain a lot. FML

by verycre8tive / 05/21/2009 at 3:31am / Romania (Bucuresti) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had my high school reunion. The nerdy guy that I picked on all 4 years had married a Swedish supermodel, then divorced her for a Brazilian supermodel. My girlfriend works at 7-11. Karma sucks. FML

by karmasabitch / 05/17/2009 at 4:16pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous