Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Mnemic

Search for a member

Mnemic

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 1 January 1979 (35 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 133939
  • Number of comments : 222
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Mnemic's page activity

Visits<b>DarkPurple</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 12:48am<b>Samiepoo</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 12:20am<b>42LifeUniverse</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 4:33pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 12:02pm<b>ileenefudge</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 8:14pm<b>alexishbu</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 2:02pm<b>mcflychicken420</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 9:20am<b>ginger196</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 4:59pm<b>nightwings</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 2:42pm<b>calppp</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 3:25am<b>markcallanan_</b> - the 05/17/2014 at 2:36am<b>Smiths137</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 9:55am<b>maxsing</b> - the 04/16/2014 at 1:52am<b>swick25</b> - the 03/16/2014 at 10:31pm<b>Terzy</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 12:00am<b>HolyOtter</b> - the 01/18/2014 at 2:22am<b>halodemon666</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 8:58pm<b>andiiibandiii526</b> - the 01/01/2014 at 8:39pm

Mnemic's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

See all of Mnemic's badges

Mnemic's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up from a nap to hear my roommate having some intimate time with his hand. The slopping and slurping sounds along with the girly man squeal as he finished haunted me all day. FML

#3646272
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59162) - you deserved it (3852)

On 07/10/2009 at 5:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Iraq (Arbil)

Today, was my wedding. After eating, I had an urge to fart. I let one rip just before my husband and I were called to do the garter dance. He seductively tried to use his teeth to remove the garter and came out from under my dress dry heaving. I dutch ovened my husband in front of everyone. FML

#3484293
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53075) - you deserved it (23639)

On 07/04/2009 at 5:07pm - love - by DutchOven (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I noticed a string was following behind our family cat. After close inspection I realized it was a plastic kite string he partially digested. I had to pull the other three feet of plastic kite tail from his rectum. He purred the entire time. FML

#3456534
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68262) - you deserved it (4979)

On 07/03/2009 at 3:06pm - animals - by RachelDC (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I was sitting at my desk eating cereal with my cat sleeping on my lap. I got a really funny text and I started laughing hysterically, and spilled my cereal all over my cat. I'll let you know how my legs, arms, neck and face heal up. FML

#3313899
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34810) - you deserved it (12006)

On 06/28/2009 at 5:30pm - animals - by Teylot (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I was at the movies with my mom and dad, and the preview to my "My Sisters Keeper" came on. The trailer started out with "Most babies are accidents..." Right as that line was finished my mom elbowed me and laughed. FML

#3295379
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58605) - you deserved it (4510)

On 06/28/2009 at 2:12am - kids - by A2 (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to a yard sale and found a cute plush duck. I sent a pic of it to my friend with the message "Jackpot!" I guess she didn't see the pic because she called me up all excited, thinking my boyfriend of 6 years finally proposed to me. "No, I said, I just found a big duck for $1." FML

#3205255
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37514) - you deserved it (6399)

On 06/25/2009 at 3:17pm - love - by smallmediumatlrg (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had an interview with IBM. For a week I did extensive research and preparation for the interview. At first the interview was going really well. I was hitting all the marks. Then just as a final casual question she asked with a smile "What does IBM stand for?". I didn't know. FML

#3134533
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34236) - you deserved it (23723)

On 06/22/2009 at 11:34pm - work - by MrZhang (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my husband and I were having sex in the shower while our 5-year old was sleeping. Apparently, she wasn't sleeping and she asked me what those loud noises were. I told her I was singing. Now I can't get her to stop "singing" in the shower. FML

#3058885
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17914) - you deserved it (56293)

On 06/20/2009 at 12:06pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was installing the official 3.0 firmware update for my iPhone. Apple's authentication servers crashed. I now own an iBrick. FML

#2990755
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45360) - you deserved it (8174)

On 06/18/2009 at 9:05am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me telling me I have problems communicating and that I didn't understand her. When I asked her why she didn't talk to me about this before she said "I didn't want to talk about it." FML

#2987293
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49990) - you deserved it (3115)

On 06/18/2009 at 3:24am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had a coffee date. The guy was waiting with coffee to meet me on the patio. I walked up to him, caught my favorite pendant necklace on the table, broke the necklace trying to get it free, and rattled the table so intensely that the guy's coffee spilled all over him. FML

#2959523
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32568) - you deserved it (6620)

On 06/17/2009 at 12:52am - misc - by vintage_vogue (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went on a date with my boyfriend. Suddenly he starts speaking gibberish. I ask what's wrong? He says, "I was just talking to my unicorn. He says you're pretty," and winks at me. What have we learned today? The person I like is a freak, and apparently unicorns are real. FML

#2829311
397 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61517) - you deserved it (11980)

On 06/12/2009 at 12:49pm - love - by unicorn (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was babysitting my 5 month old nephew who hasn't pooped in 2 days according to his mom. Well, he pooped. I accidentally stuck my finger in it. While I was wiping my finger off, he rolls over and pees on my new carpet. I roll him over to clean the pee and he opened fire and pooped again. FML

#2816506
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50910) - you deserved it (6001)

On 06/11/2009 at 10:39pm - kids - by chuchie (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my car was in the shop so I borrowed my wife's VW Beetle convertible. It's really embarrassing because it's a girlie car and it's full of little stuffed animals. At a stop light a man asked me if I'd like to borrow one of his testicles because "every man should have at least one." FML

#2812014
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (94781) - you deserved it (20002)

On 06/11/2009 at 8:23pm - misc - by NoBalls (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I had my first appearance in a court as an attorney. I called the prosecution the prostitution. FML

#2796637
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78807) - you deserved it (22091)

On 06/11/2009 at 7:52am - work - by apav (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)



Emily Chan's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Emily Chan's Illustrated FML
  • This week, we landed a spacecraft on a comet. Not FML, though. You've got to admit that the human brain is quite amazing when it comes to resources, creativity and inventing new ways to push things forward. On…

Friday 14 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: