Mnemic

Search for a member

Offline (the 06/18/2015 at 11:02pm)

Mnemic

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Vlist, Netherlands
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 1 January 1979 (37 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 135876
  • Number of comments : 222
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

Mnemic's page activity

Visits<b>minijoy1312354</b> - the 06/29/2016 at 9:20am<b>maggeei</b> - the 05/12/2016 at 6:43pm<b>Salvanoi</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 9:36am<b>xNuclear</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 1:23pm<b>zachjm98</b> - the 10/01/2015 at 9:03pm<b>gizmodorner</b> - the 10/01/2015 at 1:28pm<b>oops6663</b> - the 08/31/2015 at 1:28am<b>NicoleP1993</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 10:02pm<b>alyak98</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 2:32am<b>ZoeeeGuyss</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 3:22pm<b>Miss_Blondie44</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 11:56pm<b>msk1155</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 10:34am<b>riandcheysmom</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 10:34pm<b>heezsus</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 6:29pm<b>Melayia</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 8:38am<b>sharkalotte</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 1:38pm<b>hekinokuroihi</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 12:12am<b>DarkPurple</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 12:48am

Fucked!<b>maggeei</b> - the 05/13/2016 at 12:44am

Mnemic's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

See all of Mnemic's badges

Mnemic's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up from a nap to hear my roommate having some intimate time with his hand. The slopping and slurping sounds along with the girly man squeal as he finished haunted me all day. FML

by Anonymous / 07/10/2009 at 5:59pm / Iraq (Arbil) / Intimacy

Today, was my wedding. After eating, I had an urge to fart. I let one rip just before my husband and I were called to do the garter dance. He seductively tried to use his teeth to remove the garter and came out from under my dress dry heaving. I dutch ovened my husband in front of everyone. FML

by DutchOven / 07/04/2009 at 5:07pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love

Today, I noticed a string was following behind our family cat. After close inspection I realized it was a plastic kite string he partially digested. I had to pull the other three feet of plastic kite tail from his rectum. He purred the entire time. FML

by RachelDC / 07/03/2009 at 3:06pm / United States (West Virginia) / Animals

Today, I was sitting at my desk eating cereal with my cat sleeping on my lap. I got a really funny text and I started laughing hysterically, and spilled my cereal all over my cat. I'll let you know how my legs, arms, neck and face heal up. FML

by Teylot / 06/28/2009 at 5:30pm / Canada (New Brunswick) / Animals

Today, I was at the movies with my mom and dad, and the preview to my "My Sisters Keeper" came on. The trailer started out with "Most babies are accidents..." Right as that line was finished my mom elbowed me and laughed. FML

by A2 / 06/28/2009 at 2:12am / United States (Washington) / Kids

Today, I went to a yard sale and found a cute plush duck. I sent a pic of it to my friend with the message "Jackpot!" I guess she didn't see the pic because she called me up all excited, thinking my boyfriend of 6 years finally proposed to me. "No, I said, I just found a big duck for $1." FML

by smallmediumatlrg / 06/25/2009 at 3:17pm / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, I had an interview with IBM. For a week I did extensive research and preparation for the interview. At first the interview was going really well. I was hitting all the marks. Then just as a final casual question she asked with a smile "What does IBM stand for?". I didn't know. FML

by MrZhang / 06/22/2009 at 11:34pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Work

Today, my husband and I were having sex in the shower while our 5-year old was sleeping. Apparently, she wasn't sleeping and she asked me what those loud noises were. I told her I was singing. Now I can't get her to stop "singing" in the shower. FML

by Anonymous / 06/20/2009 at 12:06pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, I was installing the official 3.0 firmware update for my iPhone. Apple's authentication servers crashed. I now own an iBrick. FML

by Anonymous / 06/18/2009 at 9:05am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me telling me I have problems communicating and that I didn't understand her. When I asked her why she didn't talk to me about this before she said "I didn't want to talk about it." FML

by Anonymous / 06/18/2009 at 3:24am / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, I had a coffee date. The guy was waiting with coffee to meet me on the patio. I walked up to him, caught my favorite pendant necklace on the table, broke the necklace trying to get it free, and rattled the table so intensely that the guy's coffee spilled all over him. FML

by vintage_vogue / 06/17/2009 at 12:52am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went on a date with my boyfriend. Suddenly he starts speaking gibberish. I ask what's wrong? He says, "I was just talking to my unicorn. He says you're pretty," and winks at me. What have we learned today? The person I like is a freak, and apparently unicorns are real. FML

by unicorn / 06/12/2009 at 12:49pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, I was babysitting my 5 month old nephew who hasn't pooped in 2 days according to his mom. Well, he pooped. I accidentally stuck my finger in it. While I was wiping my finger off, he rolls over and pees on my new carpet. I roll him over to clean the pee and he opened fire and pooped again. FML

by chuchie / 06/11/2009 at 10:39pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids

Today, my car was in the shop so I borrowed my wife's VW Beetle convertible. It's really embarrassing because it's a girlie car and it's full of little stuffed animals. At a stop light a man asked me if I'd like to borrow one of his testicles because "every man should have at least one." FML

by NoBalls / 06/11/2009 at 8:23pm / United States (Indiana) / Transportation

Today, I had my first appearance in a court as an attorney. I called the prosecution the prostitution. FML

by apav / 06/11/2009 at 7:52am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work