Mnemic

Search for a member

Offline (the 06/18/2015 at 11:02pm)

Mnemic

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Vlist, Netherlands
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 1 January 1979 (37 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 135774
  • Number of comments : 222
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

Mnemic's page activity

Visits<b>minijoy1312354</b> - yesterday at 9:20am<b>maggeei</b> - the 05/12/2016 at 6:43pm<b>Salvanoi</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 9:36am<b>xNuclear</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 1:23pm<b>zachjm98</b> - the 10/01/2015 at 9:03pm<b>gizmodorner</b> - the 10/01/2015 at 1:28pm<b>oops6663</b> - the 08/31/2015 at 1:28am<b>NicoleP1993</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 10:02pm<b>alyak98</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 2:32am<b>ZoeeeGuyss</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 3:22pm<b>Miss_Blondie44</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 11:56pm<b>msk1155</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 10:34am<b>riandcheysmom</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 10:34pm<b>heezsus</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 6:29pm<b>Melayia</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 8:38am<b>sharkalotte</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 1:38pm<b>hekinokuroihi</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 12:12am<b>DarkPurple</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 12:48am

Fucked!<b>maggeei</b> - the 05/13/2016 at 12:44am

Mnemic's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

See all of Mnemic's badges

Mnemic's favorite FMLs

Today, I was in a video chat with an old friend who I haven't talked to in years, and my mom walks in. The first thing she says is, "Did you close the toilet after you pooped? Cause today on the news I heard that your poop particles can fly up to 25 feet, landing on your toothbrush." FML

by Poop / 10/01/2009 at 9:09pm / United States (New Jersey) / Health

Today, I found out that if you don't clean the inside of your sonicare toothbrush, it can grow masses of fungus. I've been brushing my teeth with a vibrating mushroom for the past 5 months. FML

by mushroommouth / 10/01/2009 at 5:57pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend told me she lost her phone and not to call or text her. After about three hours, I text her phone, asking if she found it yet. I got a reply, saying "Nope." FML

by dumbass / 10/01/2009 at 4:07pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, my crush was talking to me on Facebook. He said, "Did you know that 99% of the time a guy is talking to a girl it's because he wants to go out with her? Yeah, well, this is that 1%." FML

by Icy / 10/01/2009 at 2:59am / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend, who had just been awoken by her own fart. FML

by P0wned / 09/29/2009 at 5:21pm / France (Bretagne) / Love

Today, I had a meeting with the CEO about a promising job with good pay and benefits. Upon meeting, we immediately recognized each other. He was someone I used to make fun of in school all the time. He responded by refusing to interview me and had security throw me out by force. Karma bites. FML

by SucksToBeMe / 09/28/2009 at 2:31pm / United States (Nevada) / Work

Today, I was walking my dogs. I had a doggy bag, and was holding it closed, then breathing in it, so it would blow up. My dogs 'went', so I picked it up and kept walking. As I was heading home, I absent-mindedly started blowing into the bag again. Everything ended up in my mouth and on my face. FML

by doggybag / 09/24/2009 at 1:17am / Canada (British Columbia) / Animals

Today, I woke up from a nap on my new bed to see my phone lit up with new texts. My friend sent out "Wanna test out my new bed?" as a mass text while I was asleep to every boy in my phone. Mark will be here in an hour, Jon wants to know what I'm wearing, and my ex's new girlfriend is not amused. FML

by Anathema_360 / 09/20/2009 at 7:19pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, my daughter used the kids potty chair on her own for the first time. Bad: The bucket was not in it so poo hit the floor. Good: she tried to clean it... Bad: with her socks. Good: she decided to clean the socks. Bad: she used the wall. Good: she finally called dad. FML

by Udxero / 09/10/2009 at 3:51am / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I was at a party when I got covered in the liquid from a glow stick. Thinking it wasn't a big deal I went to rub it off, but it stuck to my clothes. The cops came so everyone ran and hid in the bushes because we were all drunk. The cops arrested fifteen people because I glowed. FML

by Idiots / 09/05/2009 at 4:54pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, while riding in the car with my friends, we stopped at a red light. To our left, a very obese, middle aged man slowly unbuttoned his shirt and spread it out. He then stared at us while massaging his nipples with his thumb and index fingers for the duration of the red light. FML

by Scarred / 09/04/2009 at 1:15am / United States (North Carolina) / Transportation

Today, my five year old daughter told me that while I'm at work, daddy has his wrestling buddy Melinda over. She also said that they wrestle on the bed so that they won't get hurt. FML

by abercrombieef / 08/27/2009 at 7:57pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was meeting the mayor of a major city as part of an internship program. Seated directly in front of him during his presentation on the budget crisis, he unleashed an enormous, foul fart in front of the entire audience. And then blamed it on me, everyone believed him. FML

by justdoingmyjob / 07/18/2009 at 4:10pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, my friend awoke me because I was talking in my sleep. When I asked her what I was talking about she replied with, "Let's just say you were having tea with the Queen of England. And a duck. You're really good at quacking." FML

by MadMax / 07/16/2009 at 10:59am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned that when you flush the toilet, the contents do not disappear into oblivion. They show up in your basement when your sewer backs up. And they come in greater numbers. FML