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Mnemic

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Mnemic

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 1 January 1979 (35 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 133640
  • Number of comments : 222
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Visits<b>kelseysking</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 12:02pm<b>ileenefudge</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 8:14pm<b>alexishbu</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 2:02pm<b>mcflychicken420</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 9:20am<b>ginger196</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 4:59pm<b>nightwings</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 2:42pm<b>calppp</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 3:25am<b>markcallanan_</b> - the 05/17/2014 at 2:36am<b>Smiths137</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 9:55am<b>maxsing</b> - the 04/16/2014 at 1:52am<b>swick25</b> - the 03/16/2014 at 10:31pm<b>Terzy</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 12:00am<b>HolyOtter</b> - the 01/18/2014 at 2:22am<b>halodemon666</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 8:58pm<b>andiiibandiii526</b> - the 01/01/2014 at 8:39pm<b>Thursdayxo</b> - the 10/25/2013 at 10:21pm<b>Nissan_Drifter</b> - the 10/02/2013 at 4:15pm<b>Lmaster1234</b> - the 09/30/2013 at 5:39pm

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Mnemic's favorite FMLs

Today, I was in a video chat with an old friend who I haven't talked to in years, and my mom walks in. The first thing she says is, "Did you close the toilet after you pooped? Cause today on the news I heard that your poop particles can fly up to 25 feet, landing on your toothbrush." FML

#5593248
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30439) - you deserved it (2681)

On 10/01/2009 at 9:09pm - health - by Poop (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found out that if you don't clean the inside of your sonicare toothbrush, it can grow masses of fungus. I've been brushing my teeth with a vibrating mushroom for the past 5 months. FML

#5588493
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27822) - you deserved it (19890)

On 10/01/2009 at 5:57pm - misc - by mushroommouth (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my girlfriend told me she lost her phone and not to call or text her. After about three hours, I text her phone, asking if she found it yet. I got a reply, saying "Nope." FML

#5586348
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40442) - you deserved it (5181)

On 10/01/2009 at 4:07pm - misc - by dumbass (man) - United States (Pennsylvania) - moderated by Kevin Nealon

Today, my crush was talking to me on Facebook. He said, "Did you know that 99% of the time a guy is talking to a girl it's because he wants to go out with her? Yeah, well, this is that 1%." FML

#5579906
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40581) - you deserved it (3200)

On 10/01/2009 at 2:59am - love - by Icy (woman) - United States (Washington) - moderated by Kevin Nealon

Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend, who had just been awoken by her own fart. FML

#5550225
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64410) - you deserved it (4715)

On 09/29/2009 at 5:21pm - love - by P0wned (man) - France (Bretagne)

Today, I had a meeting with the CEO about a promising job with good pay and benefits. Upon meeting, we immediately recognized each other. He was someone I used to make fun of in school all the time. He responded by refusing to interview me and had security throw me out by force. Karma bites. FML

#5527789
257 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8483) - you deserved it (103922)

On 09/28/2009 at 2:31pm - work - by SucksToBeMe (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was walking my dogs. I had a doggy bag, and was holding it closed, then breathing in it, so it would blow up. My dogs 'went', so I picked it up and kept walking. As I was heading home, I absent-mindedly started blowing into the bag again. Everything ended up in my mouth and on my face. FML

#5441991
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10134) - you deserved it (73209)

On 09/24/2009 at 1:17am - animals - by doggybag (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I woke up from a nap on my new bed to see my phone lit up with new texts. My friend sent out "Wanna test out my new bed?" as a mass text while I was asleep to every boy in my phone. Mark will be here in an hour, Jon wants to know what I'm wearing, and my ex's new girlfriend is not amused. FML

#5378920
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36041) - you deserved it (3340)

On 09/20/2009 at 7:19pm - misc - by Anathema_360 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my daughter used the kids potty chair on her own for the first time. Bad: The bucket was not in it so poo hit the floor. Good: she tried to clean it... Bad: with her socks. Good: she decided to clean the socks. Bad: she used the wall. Good: she finally called dad. FML

#5164209
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45178) - you deserved it (4262)

On 09/10/2009 at 3:51am - kids - by Udxero (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at a party when I got covered in the liquid from a glow stick. Thinking it wasn't a big deal I went to rub it off, but it stuck to my clothes. The cops came so everyone ran and hid in the bushes because we were all drunk. The cops arrested fifteen people because I glowed. FML

#5063911
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14586) - you deserved it (41635)

On 09/05/2009 at 4:54pm - misc - by Idiots (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while riding in the car with my friends, we stopped at a red light. To our left, a very obese, middle aged man slowly unbuttoned his shirt and spread it out. He then stared at us while massaging his nipples with his thumb and index fingers for the duration of the red light. FML

#5034499
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45114) - you deserved it (5115)

On 09/04/2009 at 1:15am - misc - by Scarred (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my five year old daughter told me that while I'm at work, daddy has his wrestling buddy Melinda over. She also said that they wrestle on the bed so that they won't get hurt. FML

#4867119
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77673) - you deserved it (3390)

On 08/27/2009 at 7:57pm - love - by abercrombieef (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was meeting the mayor of a major city as part of an internship program. Seated directly in front of him during his presentation on the budget crisis, he unleashed an enormous, foul fart in front of the entire audience. And then blamed it on me, everyone believed him. FML

#3859879
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50288) - you deserved it (2646)

On 07/18/2009 at 4:10pm - work - by justdoingmyjob (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my friend awoke me because I was talking in my sleep. When I asked her what I was talking about she replied with, "Let's just say you were having tea with the Queen of England. And a duck. You're really good at quacking." FML

#3799026
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36461) - you deserved it (4776)

On 07/16/2009 at 10:59am - misc - by MadMax (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I learned that when you flush the toilet, the contents do not disappear into oblivion. They show up in your basement when your sewer backs up. And they come in greater numbers. FML



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