Mnemic

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Offline (the 06/18/2015 at 11:02pm)

Mnemic

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Vlist, Netherlands
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 1 January 1979 (37 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 135760
  • Number of comments : 222
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Mnemic's page activity

Visits<b>maggeei</b> - the 05/12/2016 at 6:43pm<b>Salvanoi</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 9:36am<b>xNuclear</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 1:23pm<b>zachjm98</b> - the 10/01/2015 at 9:03pm<b>gizmodorner</b> - the 10/01/2015 at 1:28pm<b>oops6663</b> - the 08/31/2015 at 1:28am<b>NicoleP1993</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 10:02pm<b>alyak98</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 2:32am<b>ZoeeeGuyss</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 3:22pm<b>Miss_Blondie44</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 11:56pm<b>msk1155</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 10:34am<b>riandcheysmom</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 10:34pm<b>heezsus</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 6:29pm<b>Melayia</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 8:38am<b>sharkalotte</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 1:38pm<b>hekinokuroihi</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 12:12am<b>DarkPurple</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 12:48am<b>Samiepoo</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 12:20am

Fucked!<b>maggeei</b> - the 05/13/2016 at 12:44am

Mnemic's FML badges

Perfectionist

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Beginner

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Mnemic's favorite FMLs

Today, I got diagnosed with a condition that expresses itself in the form of violent diarrhea whenever I get nervous. Now I am constantly nervous about getting nervous about anything. FML

by Anonymous / 10/18/2009 at 9:36am / Sweden (Norrbottens Lan) / Health

Today, I found out that my girlfriend's idea of "washing her feet" is sticking her foot in the toilet and flushing. FML

by userrrrr / 10/17/2009 at 10:25pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love

Today, my 6 year old son learned that if you give a mouse a cookie, he will ask for a glass of milk. But if you give a hamster a cookie, he will try to shove the whole thing in his mouth, choke, and die. FML

by hamster cookie / 10/17/2009 at 5:08pm / Kids

Today, I had to go to the dentist to have a cavity filled. Around halfway through the procedure, something broke the silence in the room. It was my dentist, who had farted. I had to smell his rancid flatulence for around the next five minutes. All the while, I had to keep my mouth wide open. FML

by Anonymous / 10/17/2009 at 3:48pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Health

Today, I awoke to find a giant turd on my carpet, cat hair everywhere in my room, and a big hole in my window screen. I don't own a cat. FML

by Ethan / 10/17/2009 at 7:13am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I let my mother use my computer for school work. Later that day my mom asks me what's wrong with the computer. I look at it, only seeing a "Welcome to Windows XP" screen. She said that she saw a blue screen and pressed L and C when it asked her to. My mom managed to clear my hard drive. FML

by artiemilano / 10/15/2009 at 3:42pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML

by Anonymous / 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in bed sick from pneumonia. I asked my boyfriend to nuke a can of soup for me. He said "in a sec, let me finish this game" and continued to play on his Xbox for an hour. Starving, I crawled out to make soup. When I sat down to eat, he paused the game and asked "you didn't make me any?" FML

by tooflufoschool / 10/14/2009 at 9:00am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I was fired from a job I didn't have. The manager in charge of calling me to tell me if I got the job never called, and never called me back when I left messages. The only time he called me was to fire me for not coming to orientation, which, by the way, he never called to tell me about. FML

by superjesse006 / 10/10/2009 at 3:23am / United States (Oregon) / Work

Today, we were doing stretches in dance class where you are on your hands and doing the splits in the air while your partner helps hold you and stretch your legs further. Right as I lift my left leg up, I farted hugely right in my partner's face. I couldn't make eye contact for the rest of class. FML

by belle_arina / 10/08/2009 at 1:05am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, it was my friend's paintball party and we were doing it in a forest nearby. When I arrived at his house, his parents said they already started, so I geared up and went out there to find that there was a note on a tree. It said 'Sorry', and then twenty people jumped from bushes and ambushed me. FML

by shitballs_911 / 10/07/2009 at 7:13am / United Kingdom (Kingston upon Thames) / Miscellaneous

Today, my daughter was feeling sick. She threw up on the floor. As I was cleaning up her vomit, she threw up on my head. Twice. FML

by laurwitharawr / 10/06/2009 at 8:08am / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I chose to wear khaki dress pants to class to look professional. I was in the hallway when one of my professors pulled me aside to ask if I was feeling well. Apparently, the dryer had "eaten" my pants and made a large brown stain on the butt, making it look like I had crapped myself. FML

by coolchicka05 / 10/06/2009 at 4:28am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I retook my ACT. I have been fighting a cold all week and have been very sneezy lately. Midway through the test, I got the urge to sneeze. Since it was very quiet and I didn't want to disturb the peace, I tried to hold my sneeze in. I ended up letting out a huge fart instead. FML

by Sneezy123 / 10/05/2009 at 10:21pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was woken up from a nap by my cat attacking my face. Evidently, my husband thought it would be funny to shine a laser pointer on my cheek. FML

by Zamaria / 10/02/2009 at 6:23pm / Love