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Today, I got a popcorn kernel stuck in my throat. It was quite irritating so thought I could get it out with my finger. Good thing, the kernel is gone. Bad thing, I now have the rest of my lunch on my shirt as well. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4130) - you deserved it (18841)
On 01/16/2010 at 12:08am - misc - by emilyupsidedown (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I realized why my husband had been seemingly wanting to improve our relationship by sending little texts throughout the day for the last couple of months, asking what I was doing. It was so he could find out when would be the best time to have his girlfriend over and cheat on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29252) - you deserved it (2019)
On 01/15/2010 at 8:22pm - love - by woundedexwife (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was sitting next to the guy I am trying to get close to while we were at the bar. Music was playing, so I thought that while his attention was diverted I would sneak out a yawn. Just as I did so, the music went silent and I let out a tremendous burp. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15199) - you deserved it (6838)
On 01/15/2010 at 12:25am - love - by beriles (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, while at work at a maternity and baby clothes store, I was supposed to send out an email about our "Beat the Clock" sale. After it was sent to over 500 people, I realized that I'd misspelled the subject line. It read, "Beat the Cock Sale." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9228) - you deserved it (20517)
On 01/14/2010 at 10:55am - work - by Oops (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, my brother and his friend ambushed me, tied me to a chair, and put a sock in my mouth. My mom found me 10 minutes later, took the sock out, and asked, "Why are you tied to a chair?" I told her what happened. She looked at me, laughed, stuffed the sock back in my mouth, and left. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29127) - you deserved it (3471)
On 01/13/2010 at 2:36pm - misc - by boundandgagged (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I went on a blind date that my best friend had set up for me. When I arrived, I introduced myself and we sat at the table. After we ordered our food, he asked the waiter for some crayons and a kid's menu, and colored for the half hour before our food came. He didn't talk to me at all. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22235) - you deserved it (2662)
On 01/05/2010 at 8:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I went in for an interview at my dream job. When I walked in, I got a dirty look from the front desk secretary. Turns out, the guy interviewing me was from a dating website I'm on. I'd rejected him and told him to get a life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9169) - you deserved it (24916)
On 12/17/2009 at 10:46am - work - by Interview tragedy - United States (Texas)
Today, I set up a miniature nativity scene in my apartment. Three hours ago, my dog decided it would be a good idea to eat baby Jesus. Two hours ago, the vet laughed and said not to worry because I would 'have him back in time for Christmas'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17089) - you deserved it (3842)
On 12/17/2009 at 9:32am - animals - by gettingacat (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I got an email. It said "Everyone hates you. We voted." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29322) - you deserved it (4658)
On 12/02/2009 at 10:26am - misc - by JustAnotherTina (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I got back from a trip with a lady friend. I spent nearly a week's salary on a hotel, meals, gifts, tickets to show, and the like. As I drop her off at her place, she asks if I can let her out two doors down so her boyfriend wouldn't get mad. Hello, friend zone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25481) - you deserved it (6861)
On 12/02/2009 at 10:06am - misc - by jaynap - United States
Today, I learned it is best not to let your cordless mouse die while secretly watching porn right when your mom walks in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7010) - you deserved it (17637)
On 11/28/2009 at 9:11pm - intimacy - by nickyy (man) - United States (Arkansas)
Today, I was outside, peeing on a cactus. Then all of a sudden my dog jumped on my back, knocking me into the cactus. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8992) - you deserved it (36958)
On 11/24/2009 at 12:11pm - animals - by yomamma787 - United States (New Mexico)
Today, I learned explosive diarrhea is real. I felt it coming and dashed into our supermarket. 10 feet in, liquid poo started spewing down my pants legs. 150 feet to go. I ran. It ran. They watched. After 15 minutes of cleaning, I slunk out. Now, I have to find a new market, maybe a new town. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31916) - you deserved it (2161)
On 11/24/2009 at 6:44am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)
Today, at my school's Midnight Madness, I was selected to show my school spirit in a contest. Being drunk, I decided to hump the school mascot in front of 300 people. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4744) - you deserved it (41259)
On 10/30/2009 at 1:11am - misc - by skyhawk13 - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I found out who the father of my sister's 4 year old son is. My husband of 7 years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53766) - you deserved it (2576)
On 10/21/2009 at 2:31pm - kids - by Jessica (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)
Monday 17 June 2013
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