Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

MmmHotWaffles

Search for a member

MmmHotWaffles

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 42731
  • Number of comments : 47
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About MmmHotWaffles : I'm Nerdy.

MmmHotWaffles's page activity

Visits<b>matthamm83</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 11:56pm<b>accidentalsheep</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 8:27pm<b>NoNamedBrilliant</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 2:39am<b>Mrhammer404</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 2:37pm<b>grogers311</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 11:14am<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 6:02pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 6:04pm<b>Haglog</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 7:27am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 5:38pm<b>melinal</b> - the 04/21/2014 at 6:29pm<b>cooljak96</b> - the 03/01/2014 at 1:36pm<b>Dellira</b> - the 02/27/2014 at 9:53pm<b>Jellybellybeanz</b> - the 02/12/2014 at 11:56am<b>Katiekhalifa</b> - the 01/10/2014 at 8:49am<b>ctuan13</b> - the 12/27/2013 at 1:06pm<b>Hunter8787</b> - the 10/20/2013 at 3:48pm<b>theweave72</b> - the 10/06/2013 at 8:06pm<b>profligatesoul</b> - the 03/24/2013 at 2:31am

MmmHotWaffles's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

MmmHotWaffles's favorite FMLs

Today, I was bored at my job at Home Depot. I got a bar code tattoo 3 weeks ago and thought it would be funny to scan it. I'm a $5.98 160z claw hammer. FML

#881347
303 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40936) - you deserved it (135451)

On 04/09/2009 at 2:03am - work - by tool (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my good friend who just had a baby girl sent her newborn's pictures to me via picture message. To reply, instead of writing "Awwwwww" I wrote "Ewwwwww" by mistake. FML

#873760
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26443) - you deserved it (61068)

On 04/08/2009 at 4:42pm - kids - by nothing (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was walking out of a Starbucks and saw someone walking out behind me, thinking it would be the nice thing to do I held the door open. I was holding the door for about 30 seconds before realizing I was holding the door for my own shadow. FML

#828379
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17870) - you deserved it (60034)

On 04/06/2009 at 12:14am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was shaving off my beard for the first time in a very long time. I decided to have a little fun with it, and shaved my beard first into a goatee, then a handle-bar, then, finally, into a Hitler mustache. My electric razor dies. I don't have a normal one or an extra battery. FML

#597085
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37938) - you deserved it (83011)

On 03/25/2009 at 10:13am - misc - by nomorebeard (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me. I was getting undressed to get into the shower. My cat looked at me after I'd undressed and then threw up all over the rug. FML

#287682
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (143344) - you deserved it (21628)

On 03/12/2009 at 6:08pm - animals - by Noname (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went over to my uncle's house for dinner and my stomach hurt really bad. I noticed there were two toilets and sat in the prettier one and took a huge dump. Turns out I'd chosen the brand new toilet that wasn't connected to anything yet. FML

#284882
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53504) - you deserved it (28162)

On 03/12/2009 at 3:56pm - misc - by Noname - United States (California)

Today, I woke up at my boyfriend's place with grumbling stomach pains. I left him in bed to go have explosive diarreah in the bathroom next to his room. When I was done, I came back to bed and snuggled in next to his sleeping form and he rolled over to whisper, "I heard everthing." FML

#185544
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73181) - you deserved it (15839)

On 03/02/2009 at 4:51pm - love - by ohmygoodness (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

#56665
515 comments

I agree, your life sucks (244057) - you deserved it (82481)

On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)

Today, I really had to use the airplane lavatory. After I'd finished, the flight attendants continuously sprayed air freshener for two minutes. FML

#11959
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14043) - you deserved it (27745)

On 02/06/2009 at 4:50pm - misc - by yerbuagalapagos wonder (woman) - Ecuador (Galapagos)

Today, my 4 year old niece asked me why I didn't have a job or wife. FML

#6511
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26199) - you deserved it (7046)

On 02/03/2009 at 3:25pm - misc - by Noname - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend told me he'd help me shave my mustache. I'm a girl. FML

#5134
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25490) - you deserved it (5954)

On 02/02/2009 at 6:04am - love - by unbelievable - United States (California)

Today, I was in one of those lucid half sleeps with my boyfriend. Not fully awake to control myself, I ripped ass. I had no idea what to do. I pretended to still be sleeping. I'm pretty sure he noticed because he patted me on the back in a congratulatory sort of way. FML

#3486
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21210) - you deserved it (5698)

On 01/29/2009 at 7:13pm - love - by amg85904 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I danced with a girl until the bar closed. We went back to my place. She had a penis. FML

#2248
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49039) - you deserved it (9104)

On 01/22/2009 at 6:27pm - love - by Noname - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my girlfriend farted in her sleep, woke me up because it was so damn loud, and my room smelt like rotten noodles for about an hour. FML

#1913
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25036) - you deserved it (3983)

On 01/20/2009 at 3:00pm - love - by pikachu - United States (Virginia)



FML's blog

  • Angie's illustrated FML
  • Here we go again. This week I'm talking to you live from the Paris Japan Expo. I'm dressed up as Bernard from the Sailor Moon series, and I almost got kicked out because my katana wasn't the…

Friday 3 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: