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MmmHotWaffles

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MmmHotWaffles
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 41197
  • Number of comments : 47
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About MmmHotWaffles : I'm Nerdy.

MmmHotWaffles's last visitors

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MmmHotWaffles's favorite FMLs

Today, I was bored at my job at Home Depot. I got a bar code tattoo 3 weeks ago and thought it would be funny to scan it. I'm a $5.98 160z claw hammer. FML

#881347
296 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36484) - you deserved it (124614)

On 04/09/2009 at 2:03am - work - by tool (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my good friend who just had a baby girl sent her newborn's pictures to me via picture message. To reply, instead of writing "Awwwwww" I wrote "Ewwwwww" by mistake. FML

#873760
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23410) - you deserved it (57643)

On 04/08/2009 at 4:42pm - kids - by nothing (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was walking out of a Starbucks and saw someone walking out behind me, thinking it would be the nice thing to do I held the door open. I was holding the door for about 30 seconds before realizing I was holding the door for my own shadow. FML

#828379
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16564) - you deserved it (57696)

On 04/06/2009 at 12:14am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was shaving off my beard for the first time in a very long time. I decided to have a little fun with it, and shaved my beard first into a goatee, then a handle-bar, then, finally, into a Hitler mustache. My electric razor dies. I don't have a normal one or an extra battery. FML

#597085
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34782) - you deserved it (79119)

On 03/25/2009 at 10:13am - misc - by nomorebeard (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me. I was getting undressed to get into the shower. My cat looked at me after I'd undressed and then threw up all over the rug. FML

#287682
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (128588) - you deserved it (19247)

On 03/12/2009 at 6:08pm - animals - by Noname (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went over to my uncle's house for dinner and my stomach hurt really bad. I noticed there were two toilets and sat in the prettier one and took a huge dump. Turns out I'd chosen the brand new toilet that wasn't connected to anything yet. FML

#284882
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51355) - you deserved it (26907)

On 03/12/2009 at 3:56pm - misc - by Noname - United States (California)

Today, I woke up at my boyfriend's place with grumbling stomach pains. I left him in bed to go have explosive diarreah in the bathroom next to his room. When I was done, I came back to bed and snuggled in next to his sleeping form and he rolled over to whisper, "I heard everthing." FML

#185544
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70514) - you deserved it (15300)

On 03/02/2009 at 4:51pm - love - by ohmygoodness (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

#56665
496 comments

I agree, your life sucks (213687) - you deserved it (73281)

On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)

Today, I really had to use the airplane lavatory. After I'd finished, the flight attendants continuously sprayed air freshener for two minutes. FML

#11959
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10713) - you deserved it (21804)

On 02/06/2009 at 4:50pm - misc - by yerbuagalapagos wonder (woman) - Ecuador (Galapagos)

Today, my 4 year old niece asked me why I didn't have a job or wife. FML

#6511
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20148) - you deserved it (5429)

On 02/03/2009 at 3:25pm - misc - by Noname - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend told me he'd help me shave my mustache. I'm a girl. FML

#5134
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22691) - you deserved it (5506)

On 02/02/2009 at 6:04am - love - by unbelievable - United States (California)

Today, I was in one of those lucid half sleeps with my boyfriend. Not fully awake to control myself, I ripped ass. I had no idea what to do. I pretended to still be sleeping. I'm pretty sure he noticed because he patted me on the back in a congratulatory sort of way. FML

#3486
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18641) - you deserved it (5367)

On 01/29/2009 at 7:13pm - love - by amg85904 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I danced with a girl until the bar closed. We went back to my place. She had a penis. FML

#2248
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41587) - you deserved it (7812)

On 01/22/2009 at 6:27pm - love - by Noname - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my girlfriend farted in her sleep, woke me up because it was so damn loud, and my room smelt like rotten noodles for about an hour. FML

#1913
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18863) - you deserved it (3331)

On 01/20/2009 at 3:00pm - love - by pikachu - United States (Virginia)



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