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About MmmHotWaffles : I'm Nerdy.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was in an elevator with my dad and several strangers. When the elevator voice said, "Going down," my dad excitedly said, "Man, I love it when she says that!" loudly enough for everyone to hear. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33010) - you deserved it (3024)
On 07/24/2009 at 6:01am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was standing by the bed naked, waiting for my wife to come out of the bathroom. She opens the door and walks over to me, swinging her hips, wearing pratically nothing. About four feet from me, she trips on the edge of the floor mat, and uses my 'junk' to catch herself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (63759) - you deserved it (4387)
On 07/22/2009 at 10:12am - intimacy - by Gordon (man) - United States (Kansas)
Today, I was at Target with my mom and we finished purchasing our items. We had gotten a fan so I said,"This thing is too big to fit in." First thing my mom yells? "THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!" and starts laughing hysterically in front of the entire store. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38601) - you deserved it (8716)
On 07/12/2009 at 2:25pm - misc - by embarrassed (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my friend and I decided to get bikini waxes. Afterwards, the women who did the waxing told my friend it was $30 for her wax. Then, in front of the whole salon, the women points at me and says, "You! You so hairy- $35!". FML
I agree, your life sucks (45783) - you deserved it (6144)
On 07/11/2009 at 4:11pm - health - by waxinghorror (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I have to choose between one eyebrow or none because I'm a heavy sleeper and my brother is a moron. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48994) - you deserved it (3423)
On 07/11/2009 at 4:02pm - misc - by wow (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, it was my wedding day. I had my butt clenched during the ceremony. I was giving my husband the ring, but dropped it. When I went to retrieve it, I let a huge one ripe. My husband yelled "she likes to eat beans." FML
I agree, your life sucks (45289) - you deserved it (7061)
On 07/11/2009 at 12:41pm - misc - by 1234 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I woke up from a nap to hear my roommate having some intimate time with his hand. The slopping and slurping sounds along with the girly man squeal as he finished haunted me all day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50587) - you deserved it (2799)
On 07/10/2009 at 5:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Iraq (Arbil)
Today, I went to see my grandmother. She has alzheimers and doesn't remember me sometimes, and today she thought I was her sister and that I was trying to steal my grandfather from her. She hit me with a cane and called me a slut. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45647) - you deserved it (1897)
On 07/09/2009 at 3:29am - misc - by lady_jeni - United States (California)
Today, I took a test as part of a job requirement. I took a sip from a bottle of juice, and the lady leading the test gave me a warning. I tried to explain that if I didn't, I would faint. She took the bottle and hid it. 15 minutes later I collapsed. She thought I was faking. I'm hypoglycemic. FML
I agree, your life sucks (65044) - you deserved it (2232)
On 06/11/2009 at 8:59am - health - by Casey - Sent from mobile version
Today, I had my first appearance in a court as an attorney. I called the prosecution the prostitution. FML
I agree, your life sucks (65241) - you deserved it (16028)
On 06/11/2009 at 7:52am - work - by apav (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML
I agree, your life sucks (85958) - you deserved it (50908)
On 06/10/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by badmom (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I was walking downtown. I'm 57 years old, and I'm pretty well along in terms of hair loss. On top of that, I recently hurt my left leg and am walking with a crutch. I passed two teenagers, who were looking at me, and I overheard "Yeah, I agree. I'm much more scared of aging than death." FML
I agree, your life sucks (37765) - you deserved it (1524)
On 06/10/2009 at 4:18am - misc - by older (man) - United States (California)
Today, I found out just how thin the walls at my new student flat are. They are so thin in fact, that I can hear the creepy guy next door say my full name over and over again very slowly whilst masturbating rigorously. FML
I agree, your life sucks (84986) - you deserved it (2928)
On 06/09/2009 at 9:36am - intimacy - by SleepyKirsty (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)
Today, my mom walks into my room, with a serious look on her face asks me "When a man is getting it from behind, the man on top orgasms, but what happens to the man on bottom? Do you think he takes care of himself or what?" Hand motions were included. FML
I agree, your life sucks (67658) - you deserved it (3587)
On 06/09/2009 at 4:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was driving on the motorway when a cop car made me stop. It was a routine check and when they said "Have you been drinking?" of course I said no. To that, my 6 year old sitting in the back screamed "Yes he did! He's lying I saw him drink!" I had drunk a milkshake. FML
I agree, your life sucks (76616) - you deserved it (3837)
On 06/04/2009 at 8:17am - kids - by Kimmiko (woman) - Germany (Niedersachsen)
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