About MisterMuffinz : Moo moo milk me! :D
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Today, I was with my boyfriend and we were talking about childhood memories. He told me about a girl he made fun of in middle school. That was me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30650) - you deserved it (2570)
On 12/10/2011 at 8:03pm - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I walked in on my mom, braiding my dad's pubic hair. I don't know what scarred me more; my mom braiding his pubic hair or the fact that his pubic hair is long enough to be braided. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40168) - you deserved it (2607)
On 12/10/2011 at 8:03pm - intimacy - by Joe (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was cuddling up on the couch with my girlfriend, when my drunken mother walked in the room, slurred out, "Room for one more?" and leaped on top of us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25723) - you deserved it (2003)
On 12/09/2011 at 2:38pm - love - by Vince (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I told my boyfriend about how a few years ago I had cancer, and how I underwent radiation therapy. His response? "Did you glow in the dark?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (23328) - you deserved it (2518)
On 12/09/2011 at 2:41am - health - by GlowInTheDark (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I drank a fifth of vodka before I took my political science final. My professor later called me to tell me that I had written "Obama is a beautiful chocolate man" to every essay question. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8557) - you deserved it (66073)
On 12/09/2011 at 1:11am - misc - by blondie101 - United States
Today, some friends and I were pulled over on our way back from a party. We'd had a few drinks, so we tried to play it cool just in case we were over the limit. The cop didn't seem to want to breathalyze us, until my really high friend in the back seat said, "These are not the droids you are looking for." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10106) - you deserved it (30023)
On 12/07/2011 at 9:46am - misc - by Notadrinkanddriveidiot - United States
Today, my girlfriend shoved a Q-tip up my ass while I was brushing my teeth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28061) - you deserved it (4995)
On 12/06/2011 at 11:39pm - intimacy - by Surprisebuttsecks? (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I saw a 10 dollar bill on the street, as I went to grab it, it was pulled away by a string. I don't know what's worse, the fact that I was tricked by teenagers or that I tripped and fell as I went for it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20383) - you deserved it (5310)
On 12/06/2011 at 9:33am - health - by aceshot97 - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I found that when a hot girl asks you whether you have a girlfriend, saying, "I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one" is not the best way to proceed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7695) - you deserved it (49142)
On 12/06/2011 at 1:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I got the official word my wife is pregnant. Her sister, who lives with us, is also pregnant. I'm stuck in an apartment with two women due in late 2012. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28012) - you deserved it (3905)
On 12/06/2011 at 12:05am - misc - by brando2k5 - United States (Texas)
Today, while I was watching TV, my boyfriend took my unicorn pillow pet and made it hump my arm. I told him to stop acting like a child. He replied, "Children don't have sex like this," and started making sex noises while making the pillow pet hump my arm faster and harder. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22072) - you deserved it (7668)
On 12/04/2011 at 8:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I played Taboo with my boyfriend and my conservative family. It was my boyfriend's turn and his word was "cherry". His only clue to me was, "I popped your..." He was the only one who found it funny. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29743) - you deserved it (3718)
On 12/04/2011 at 12:44am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because we watched a movie that Taylor Lautner was in, she claims they made special eye contact and they are destined to be together. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36940) - you deserved it (4000)
On 11/28/2011 at 8:33pm - love - by hot_shot (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I let my boyfriend sleep over at my house for the first time. Upon arriving, he tossed his stuff on the floor and said "I gotta take a piss, where's your shower?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (19333) - you deserved it (2613)
On 11/27/2011 at 10:00pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Mississippi)
Today, after I went to collect my pay for babysitting, the girl's dad pulled the old "Can I pay you in Trident Layers?" bull on me. Hoping to show that I wasn't going to play ball, I told him that watching his gran inhale a cock would be funnier. If scowls could kill... FML
I agree, your life sucks (5579) - you deserved it (42216)
On 11/25/2011 at 9:09pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)
Monday 20 May 2013
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