About MisterMuffinz : Moo moo milk me! :D
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Today, while waiting outside a liquor store for my boyfriend, a drunk guy leaned over my shoulder, took a large bite out of my burger, and walked away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22325) - you deserved it (2856)
On 01/26/2012 at 2:34am - misc - by RequilaRainbow - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was on a date. I noticed he kept looking at my lips. Thinking he wanted to kiss me, I leaned in closer. Disgusted, he pulled away and said, "I'm sorry, but that pimple on your chin is, like, staring at me or something." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24538) - you deserved it (4275)
On 01/13/2012 at 4:32am - love - by sillvy - United States
Today, I accidentally moaned my own name during sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25842) - you deserved it (20211)
On 01/04/2012 at 1:43am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I told my parents that I wanted to donate blood. My dad helpfully interjected, "Sorry, they don't accept blood from gingers." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23791) - you deserved it (6024)
On 01/01/2012 at 8:22pm - health - by GingerJ (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, while watching Rio, I got a boner when Blu and Jewel kissed. This is almost as pathetic as getting a boner a few days ago while watching Homer and Marge kiss on The Simpsons. I think I'm way past the point of ever getting laid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24794) - you deserved it (7337)
On 01/01/2012 at 1:09pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, severing all forms of communication but one: Words With Friends. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17924) - you deserved it (1938)
On 12/30/2011 at 12:27pm - love - by ktinanic - United States (Michigan)
Today, my girlfriend referred to her yeast infection as "making bread." I can never look at bread the same way. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19741) - you deserved it (2065)
On 12/27/2011 at 10:15am - health - by themuffinman (man) - Japan
Today, I had my first kiss with the woman I've been in love with for two years. Right as I kissed her, some guys drove by in a car and threw some soggy spaghetti at me, yelling, "Noob!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (25905) - you deserved it (2316)
On 12/23/2011 at 5:53am - love - by johncabbot25 (man) - Canada
Today, after explaining to my two year old that we were going bra shopping, he decided to announce to the entire bank that we were going to buy Mommy some boobies. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13387) - you deserved it (16111)
On 12/20/2011 at 1:59pm - kids - by imamomma - United States
Today, I dropped my 7-year-old son off at school. He decided to have fun and step out of my car screaming "Stranger danger" while running away and pointing at me. I then had to get out of my car to shut the door he'd left wide open. This caused 20 other kids to scream "Stranger danger" as well. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24062) - you deserved it (2242)
On 12/19/2011 at 7:24am - kids - by dealingdave - United States (Missouri)
Today, the heating in my house broke down. I called my boyfriend and asked if I could stay at his place until I could get it fixed. He said no, and told me my overgrown leg hair would keep me warm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22014) - you deserved it (9526)
On 12/16/2011 at 3:11pm - love - by Anonymous - Sweden (Hallands Lan)
Today, I went to eat the orange I'd brought to work, but couldn't find it. After minutes searching, I found it. Nailed to the ceiling. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19796) - you deserved it (1768)
On 12/15/2011 at 1:57am - work - by Username - United States (California)
Today, after trying to find the perfect picture for the guy I have a huge crush on, I finally found one and sent it to him. His return picture? Himself in a Batman mask and sombrero. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14514) - you deserved it (8533)
On 12/15/2011 at 12:00am - love - by scribbles1475 (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend took me to dinner and near the end, he pulled out a long, rectangular box. Thinking it was a necklace, I got very excited. It was a wand. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20586) - you deserved it (12259)
On 12/13/2011 at 7:26am - love - by reallyman__639 - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, a creepy old guy on the bus asked me if I wanted to "lick it." When I said no, he tried to convince me by telling me that "it tastes good." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24096) - you deserved it (1837)
On 12/12/2011 at 6:17pm - intimacy - by flowerchildd2 - United States (Colorado)
Monday 20 May 2013
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