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MisterMuffinz

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MisterMuffinz
  • Town/Country : .__., United States of America.......
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 9 November 1994 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 3059
  • Number of comments : 90
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 24 posted

About MisterMuffinz : Moo moo milk me! :D

MisterMuffinz's last visitors

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MisterMuffinz's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of MisterMuffinz's badges

MisterMuffinz's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend openly mocked me, calling me an idiot for thinking seahorses are real. She insists that they're like unicorns, and only exist in fiction. FML

#19011478
357 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34729) - you deserved it (4080)

On 02/06/2012 at 4:52pm - animals - by BoringFucker (man) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, my husband and I worked together on a very difficult yard project. Afterwards, I thanked him and offered him a special treat. He was disappointed to find I meant sex, not cookies. FML

#18992832
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28758) - you deserved it (5040)

On 02/04/2012 at 2:40pm - intimacy - by me - United States (Texas)

Today, the pervert in my computer class asked me if I "mowed my lawn." Not knowing this was a vaguely sexual term, I replied, "No, my dad does." FML

#18983166
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36944) - you deserved it (8388)

On 02/03/2012 at 9:47am - intimacy - by xX_nsn_Xx (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to sit my 13-year-old son down and explain to him that I'd noticed that his pajamas feel a little "crispy" when I pick them up to do the laundry, and ask if he could start using tissues when having some "alone time." FML

#18966482
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27518) - you deserved it (5031)

On 02/01/2012 at 2:11am - intimacy - by stainseverywhere (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, while waiting outside a liquor store for my boyfriend, a drunk guy leaned over my shoulder, took a large bite out of my burger, and walked away. FML

#18913819
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25952) - you deserved it (3666)

On 01/26/2012 at 2:34am - misc - by RequilaRainbow - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was on a date. I noticed he kept looking at my lips. Thinking he wanted to kiss me, I leaned in closer. Disgusted, he pulled away and said, "I'm sorry, but that pimple on your chin is, like, staring at me or something." FML

#18793315
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28284) - you deserved it (4733)

On 01/13/2012 at 4:32am - love - by sillvy - United States

Today, I accidentally moaned my own name during sex. FML

#18703291
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26548) - you deserved it (20631)

On 01/04/2012 at 1:43am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I told my parents that I wanted to donate blood. My dad helpfully interjected, "Sorry, they don't accept blood from gingers." FML

#18678605
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27420) - you deserved it (7423)

On 01/01/2012 at 8:22pm - health - by GingerJ (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, while watching Rio, I got a boner when Blu and Jewel kissed. This is almost as pathetic as getting a boner a few days ago while watching Homer and Marge kiss on The Simpsons. I think I'm way past the point of ever getting laid. FML

#18674853
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29598) - you deserved it (9296)

On 01/01/2012 at 1:09pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, severing all forms of communication but one: Words With Friends. FML

#18653374
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21728) - you deserved it (2532)

On 12/30/2011 at 12:27pm - love - by ktinanic - United States (Michigan)

Today, my girlfriend referred to her yeast infection as "making bread." I can never look at bread the same way. FML

#18623921
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21814) - you deserved it (2551)

On 12/27/2011 at 10:15am - health - by themuffinman (man) - Japan

Today, I had my first kiss with the woman I've been in love with for two years. Right as I kissed her, some guys drove by in a car and threw some soggy spaghetti at me, yelling, "Noob!" FML

#18586943
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26570) - you deserved it (2348)

On 12/23/2011 at 5:53am - love - by johncabbot25 (man) - Canada

Today, after explaining to my two year old that we were going bra shopping, he decided to announce to the entire bank that we were going to buy Mommy some boobies. FML

#18561778
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14644) - you deserved it (20326)

On 12/20/2011 at 1:59pm - kids - by imamomma - United States

Today, I dropped my 7-year-old son off at school. He decided to have fun and step out of my car screaming "Stranger danger" while running away and pointing at me. I then had to get out of my car to shut the door he'd left wide open. This caused 20 other kids to scream "Stranger danger" as well. FML

Today, the heating in my house broke down. I called my boyfriend and asked if I could stay at his place until I could get it fixed. He said no, and told me my overgrown leg hair would keep me warm. FML

#18528307
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26116) - you deserved it (12038)

On 12/16/2011 at 3:11pm - love - by Anonymous - Sweden (Hallands Lan)



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